Friday, August 6, 2010

Ask an Atheist Project: Syko Shadow

In this blog, we are going to be answering 13 common questions addressed to atheists by theists of all faiths. The responder for this segment is Syko Shadow, the ghetto American atheist, as opposed to magx01 being the pasty white Canadian atheist (that's for putting me on that deathlist!)

Let's begin!

1) What is an atheist?/What do atheists believe?/Don't atheists worship Satan?/Can you prove that god does not exist?

 A) An atheist is someone who does not adhere to the belief structure of any religion, and does not share a theist's belief that the universe was created by any form of deity. In short, we're gangsta motherfuckers.

B) Atheists believe... whatever the fuck we want. We're not bound by any form of belief system, and the only belief we all share is that there is no such thing as God, in any form. That's it, really! We have no tenets, no commandments, no sacred texts of any kind, none of the boring shit you theists have.

C) Does your mother worship my dick? Of course she does. You know why? Because that shit exists. All seven pounds of it. Atheists do not believe in God, so how in the fuck can we believe in Satan? Therefore, how can we worship him if we don't believe the motherfucker is real? Besides, the only reason theists believe this bullshit about atheists worshiping Satan is because half of them can't possibly grasp any concept of non-religion, and therefore any attempt to undermine God as being anything less than all that life revolves around is seen as the work of the devil, just like heavy metal music and public schools. there's no middle ground with some people, you're either a blessed child of the Lord, or an evil twisted soulless minion of Satan.

D) Can you prove that God does exist? No, because any time a theist is asked that, they simply spout off some bullshit like "it's not about facts, it's about faith, and believing God exists is more meaningful than knowing that God exists," or some shit like that. You're the ones saying he exists in the first place, I'm simply casting doubt upon your claims. In any intelligent debate, Party A says that Subject 1 is true based on evidence, and Party B tries to prove that Subject 1 is NOT true by debunking the evidence laid down by Party A, as well as laying down its own evidence. With religion, there is no proof or evidence of God's existence from theist's end, so what the fuck can atheists counter with? There's nothing to disprove!

This is just another example of religion casting its own perceived dominance during a debate, projecting its viewpoint and its rules over an otherwise objective and unbiased discussion. I don't have to answer to you, and I don't have to prove that God doesn't exist when nobody else has proved that he does exist.

2) Aren't there some things that science can't explain? Also, how can you trust science since it's always changing?

There's nothing that science can't explain (except why Power Rangers is so bad yet I can't stop watching it), there's just quite a few things science ain't figured out yet. We're still very young when it comes to the discoveries we've made, the human race has a long way to go still. Give it time, you impatient fucks.

As for science changing, you really need to read up on the scientific method. Science itself doesn't change, only theories and hypotheses change. Go back to my previous reference regarding Party A and Party B and their fight over proving or disproving something. That's science. Party A brings forth evidence to support a theory, and if there's not enough evidence to prove it is a complete fact, Party B tries to disprove it with its own set of facts and evidence, and neither side is proven right without enough factual evidence. Nothing is changed on a whim. The Laws of Gravity will not change overnight because someone just feels like it.

Besides, what the fuck is with religion and always going up against science?! Science has nothing to do with religion! Why do theists attack it so much?!

3) What evidence would convince you that god exists?

If he came down on a flying dragon, turned all the water in the area into blue Kool-Aid, eliminated cancer, and brought back Steve Irwin. Until then, I won't believe shit.

4) Why is there something rather than nothing?

That's not the question you want to ask. Instead, the question is "how," not "why." We don't know the "how" for certain yet, so how can we possibly ask the "why?" Oh, wait I forgot, theists are 100% confident that God created everything, an answer based on nothing but faith. I refuse to answer a "why" question when I disagree with the "how" on the basis that whoever asks the question of "why" is making an assumption that everyone in the world adheres to his or her religious and philosophical beliefs in regards to the "how." Fuck that. Again, yet another example of theists projecting their viewpoints as the default answer in any ethical or philosophical debate.

Besides, if you're so certain God created everything, and is thus the "how" of the creation of everything, why not ask him the "why?" If God won't (or can't... 'cause you know, he's not real) answer that question, then why, or rather how, can I, or any other person on this planet answer it in place of your all-knowing deity?

And if all the "hows" and "whys" confused you... I don't care.

5) Where do atheists think the universe came from?

Who in the fuck cares?! That's for scientists to figure out, not philosophers! The origin of the universe is a fact, something that happened, not something to be put into a psalm or a sermon or turned into a mythical story like Noah's Ark or some shit. Stop trying to put everything under the category of your religion! Not every facet of human life need's God's intervention! Hell, as far as I'm concerned, nothing in this world benefits from God's intervention. That probably offends many theists, but really... I'm an atheist, what other response would you expect? Then again, some especially deranged religious folk believe atheists to be the work of Satan, so I shouldn't take for granted the assumption that everyone is completely aware of what it means to be an atheist.

6) If you met god, what would you say to him?

"Sup, my nigga. What's good?" After that friendly greeting customary to my homeland, I would tell him, in a very simple manner, that Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is a much better-written piece of fiction than his published works.

There would never ever be a smiting as swift and merciless as the one he would give unto me after that.

7) Everyone believes in god, why don't atheists believe too?

I don't even feel like pointing out how fucking bone-dead stupid that entire statement is. Actually, fuck that, I'll do it anyway, that statement was so fucking stupid.

First of all, atheists are proof that not everyone believes in God, you fucking dipstick! Second of all, to say everyone believes in God, instead of saying "a God," is to basically say everyone believes in the same God, which obviously isn't true due to the different religions all across the planet, you giraffe-fucking dumbass. Third of all, just because the majority of people believe in something, especially something as abstract and lacking in any real evidence as religion, does not make it true. If that were the case, the planet would be flat, we would still be burning witches, and black people would still be picking white people's cotton, because all of those things were believed to be right by the majority of people at the time, and in all three cases it was deemed right only due to casual observation, impressionism and just a general lack of any goddamn intelligence. You know why? Because people are kind of fucking stupid when they gather in large groups. If anything, it's the minority who's usually right, and when it comes to religion there's no smaller minority than atheists!

8) Where do morals come from, if not from god?

Despite what the Bible seems to indicate, humans are NOT born inherently sinful, we don't need someone else to tell us right from wrong. We're smarter than that as a species. I have never killed a person, never plan to, I don't even like having guns around me, or even any sharp objects. I'm not a dishonest person, I have never cheated (in a game or with a girlfriend. Hell, I don't even use cheat codes... anymore), and I have never stolen anything in m-- well... nevermind that for now.

I don't do those things because I simply don't like hurting people, especially strangers and people I have never met. Do my morals need an origin? Do I need someone else to tell me what's wrong and right? Maybe I just figured that shit out myself. Maybe I am completely capable of telling myself that taking another person's life is wrong. Do YOU really need God to tell you it's wrong to murder people? If so, then you're the more immoral, not me, as only the power of a god could stop you from taking someone's life.

9) What's the point of living if you don't believe in god?

...What in the... fuck? Are you seriously trying to insinuate that life itself, in all its glory and splendor, is absolutely meaningless if it turns out we're just... here? You can't possibly see the beauty in life, you have to believe we were placed here by some all-seeing figure that put us here for a purpose that you aren't even aware of?! What kind of bullshit is this bullshit?

God doesn't give me purpose, hell he doesn't give anyone purpose, seeing as how the most common question our species asks is "what's our purpose? What's the meaning of life?" The only point in living is to fucking LIVE! Isn't that good enough?! Isn't this a good life we live in? I think so... WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU?! You want purpose in every day of your life, here's an idea... find your own goddamn purpose. Find something that gives your life meaning, whether it's a career, a person, or even a hobby.

10) If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys alive today?

Because nobody came around to those monkeys and fucked them yet, and got them pregnant with human DNA. So the only answer is to go fuck a monkey right up its ass, right now. You're doing a good thing for evolution, because buttfucking an orangutan to change it into a human is just as scientifically plausible as saying humans are the direct descendants of monkeys in the first place.

11) Don't you atheists wish there was a heaven?

I wish I could go to Paris, visit the Louvre during the day, and at night have a threesome with Michelle Rodriguez and Aisha Tyler on the top of the Eiffel Tower with Michaelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles videotaping it and putting it on the internet ... but that shit ain't gonna happen... again.

Sure, it would be nice to wish for a magic place beyond life where we live forever in absolute paradise. That's why religion is so popular, because everyone wants that, and regardless of whether it's true or not, people will want to believe in a place like that because dying is scary shit, so they do whatever they can in order to get to that magical place that lets them escape death. The problem is, besides Heaven being a false hope to begin with, whenever someone wishes for something, and that wish is fulfilled or is presumed to be fulfilled, sometimes it makes them take other things for granted. Someone who wishes for a boatload of money suddenly doesn't care about the value of a dollar anymore. Someone who wishes for immortality in a paradise after their death suddenly doesn't appreciate the value of this life anymore. This actually brings me back to Question 9, where the theist cannot love life, and has to be validated by the existence of God. Now I understand why, because without God, there is no Heaven, and without Heaven, there's nothing for us but this life, this life that so many theists do not care about, and cannot see the inherent beauty in. It's all a means to and end for them, that end being Heaven.

I'm sorry, but that sounds more like Hell to me. That's why I, unlike so many people in the world, don't wish for Heaven to be real. I'm already here, in this beautiful, impossible universe that we already live in, and any place that tries to undermine the wonderful world we live in now cannot be a place of good, and this so-called "Heaven" fits that description.

12) Why blog, debate on forums, make videos, etc?

Fight the power, my dawg. In America, atheists make up like 2% of the population. We are outnumbered by just about everyone else. There are more Eskimos in Ohio than Atheists in the United States. Not only that, since the majority of America is Christian and thus atheists are scrutinized and wrongly stereotyped as amoral sinful deviants who drink blood and lay with people of different ethnicities, people don't want to listen to us. So we keep on talking. We keep on debating. We make people hear our voice, because they refuse to, simply because they don't think we have anything of value to say. Their idea of an "ethical debate" is to quote a passage from the Bible and expect that to be enough to convince me, because... you know, it's in the Bible, so it's absolute truth by default. Fuck that shit, as far as I'm concerned.

13) Pascal's Wager (even though the existence of God cannot be determined through reason, a person should wager as though God exists, because living life accordingly has everything to gain, and nothing to lose, whereas living as an atheist can possibly cost you everything but you gain nothing). Basicallty, why don't you just believe, what do you have to lose? Nothing, but you might have lots to gain!!

Considering the answers I've given to other questions in this little exercise, I have a lot to lose. My love of life, my morals, my freedom to use profanity as often as I like, and most importantly my "always ask questions" attitude that most theists have tried to suppress since the very conception of religion.

To become a theist based on the idea that, otherwise, I'm in danger of losing "everything," is an insult to the very premise of humanity's freedom. You're practically being forced to accept a religion, which is a loss of freedom since you don't really have a choice, so that's one more thing I lose by converting. That's like saying I have the "choice" of handing over my wallet, or getting shot in the fucking head. I'm making a decision based on fear. Fear of going to Hell, fear of the wrath of God, whatever. It's disgusting, to be honest. Absolutely, insultingly disgusting to me. God might as well be running his own damn extortion racket, having the world pay protection fees in the form of worship and prayer so "nothing bad happens to us." So yeah, I think I just compared God to the mafia, and when dealing with the mafia, you always have alot to lose. The only difference between the mafia and the church is that churches are legal.

And who says atheists have nothing to gain? Like I stated before, as an atheist I appreciate everything this life has for me because this is the only life I have. I appreciate the places, the people, everything. Theists on the other hand, no matter how much they say they appreciate this life, deep down inside, in the core of their beliefs, they believe there is something infinitely better out there, waiting for them as soon as this life ends. That in itself forces one to lose some appreciation for life, intentional or otherwise.

As far as I'm concerned, theists lose more than I ever will.

14 - Syko Shadow's Bonus Question) How can you possibly call yourself an American? America was founded by Christians, with Christian values. Religion was one of the building blocks of the great nation of the United States!

Religion is one of the "building blocks" of America, you say? Well, so was slavery and Manifest Destiny, so forgive me for not acquiescing to the "America was founded on it, so it must be good" argument. In fact, I'm very certain that the early colonists attempted to justify murdering native tribes and enslaving Africans was because it was in fact, "God's will" for the white man to assert dominance over the dark-skinned Africans and "Indians." Tell me, is racism one of those "Christian values this country was founded on" you speak of? Sometimes, I envy magx for being Canadian, he doesn't have to deal with half the shit I do, the lucky poutine-eating sonofabitch...

I thought the point of growing and progressing as a nation, or better yet as a species, was shaking off old, outdated, or just plain fucked-up traditions and customs. America was far from civilized at the point of its conception. America was full of slave-owning narrow-minded religious zealots who only came to this country to escape other slave-owning narrow-minded religious zealots. But nowadays, it seems that anything that America was "founded on," like Christianity, the right to bear arms, and shit like that are untouchable, sacred and infallible simply because of its long tenure as part of American culture.

America is simply not a progressive country in my book, or at least America has always fought very hard against cultural progression. Fucking hell, it took us almost 200 years to get rid of legal segregation based on ethnicity and gender (I say "legal" segregation because it's still rampant today, it's just not officially accepted by America anymore), and we're still wrapped up in social and political debates based on old ways of thinking and prejudices that seem inhumane and unjust by today's standards, like America's continual social oppression of homosexuals, or the need to keep a fully loaded gun rack in every household.

So forgive me for not standing by the "building blocks of this country," or whatever you want to call it, I simply fail to see how it's a very good argument for letting us go down this downward cultural spiral. I'm not much of a patriot anyway, so fuck it.


  1. "So forgive me for not standing by the "building blocks of this country," or whatever you want to call it, I simply fail to see how it's a very good argument for letting us go down this downward cultural spiral."

    *stands and applauds*

  2. Btw, I was wrong to take you to task for not catching the burden shifting fallacy, as I said on MSN. You did catch it.

    Go cover some more bases, why don't you?

  3. "Fight the power, my dawg. In America, atheists make up like 2% of the population."

    That confuses me. If 98% of the population self-identify as theists (most likely some denomination of Christianity) then you'd assume there would be no murder, gangs, rape, drug dealing, etc etc,. It seems they're preoccupied with making sure gays can't get married and raped women can't get abortions to concern themselves with mass unemployment, poverty, murder and all those other pesky little annoyances which don't matter.

  4. I actually think that the number is around 15-25%, not 2%.

  5. Abolitionists used religion as a driving force in why slavery was wrong, and morally criminal. It played a key role and was productive in ending such a wrongful institution. It seems people will lend blame something for an entirety that it is not to blame for even if said factor was used in its downfall.

    Also you seem to imply that such flaws were only present in America, even though other western nations would not see any sort of lasting democracy for another 100 plus years.


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