Tuesday, February 12, 2013
"IOC leaders dropped wrestling from the Olympic program on Tuesday, a surprise decision that removes one of the oldest Olympic sports from the 2020 Games.
The IOC executive board decided to retain modern pentathlon — the event considered most at risk — and remove wrestling instead from its list of 25 "core sports."
In a move that shocked many more (those who aren't paying much attention to our culture) they further stated that wrestling would be replaced with "Speed Tweeting" a "sport" (assuming one could consider it as such) that consists of a group of "athletes" sending out 100 character "tweets" as quickly as possible during an allotted time-frame:
"Tweets" must be coherent and use proper spelling/grammar to be counted towards a competitor's score.
One possible competitor for the 2020 games is thirteen year old Riley, a North Carolina girl who, when interviewed for this story, stated that speed tweeting was "really fun but really hard." When pressed for details she had this to say "Your thumbs get really sore, and so my mom and dad take me to weekly thumb massages, and I also get one day off of school a week to rest them (note: yes, she is referring to her thumbs) so that I will be injury free when it comes time to compete."
At the time of this writing, Riley is able to send out 40 "tweets" per minute. I can't say I'm excited to see what that number is up to by 2020, but judging by the people around her, I am clearly in the minority on this. Her friends and family were absolutely jubilant when they heard the news and they were clamoring to get comments published in this article. Being the nice guy that I am *ahem* (trying to fill a word count that unfortunately cannot be filled by raised eyebrows and a blank stare) *ahem* I have published a bunch of these for your (fill in the blank yourself, but I suggest smug disdain):
"Speed tweeting combines athletics and modern technology: It's the best of two worlds!"
"It's a cool, hip sport. This will solve the problem of reduced youth viewership."
"Wrestling is outdated and barbaric. Speed tweeting is a novel, relevant and nonviolent sport."
"Sweaty men in their underwear rolling around on the floor? That's a sport?"
"The internet is the future and it's time the Olympics joined us in it."
"I feel bad for the wrestlers but it's time that these excellent tweeters get some limelight."
"What's more important than information? Delivering it quickly!"
"People might laugh at this but they don't see the dedication Riley and others put into this demanding sport."
IOC Axes Wrestling In Favour of Speed Tweeting
Personally, I'm disgusted at this but unfortunately, not terribly surprised.