My Attempt To Return Vampires to Glory. Pt. 3

PLEASE NOTE: You should, before reading this, definitely read PART ONE  as well as PART TWO if you already have not. I strongly recommend doing so. It will only take you a few minutes, and will greatly enhance the 'experience,' if you will, of reading this one. Thanks, and enjoy!

(although I certainly recommend reading the first two parts, I will post a short summary of the events that have thus far transpired in the town of Hunter's Bluff (aka parts 1 and 2) below).

It's a sad time to be a fan of vampire lore. They started off so well. From Bram Stoker to Anne Rice, vampires have become entrenched in our consciousness, and for good reason. Terrifying yet alluring, these creatures who roam by night and sleep by day strike both fear and curiosity into those who encounter them.

But now......

Now Hollywood has taken vampires and comepletely ruined them. Vampires to not go to school. They do not engage in teen romaces. The certainly do not glitter in the sunlight!

Vampires should be nasty creatures who can put on a veneer of civility if it suits them. They are essentially undead psychopaths. There have been varying iterations of these creatures throughout the years, sarting with Bram Stoker's vision of a refined gentleman living in a gothic castle who harbored a......nasty little secret, and unfortunately culminating in the affront to the horror genre we see today:


Really, what the hell is that?

My personal idea of what vampires should be is a cross between Stoker's original vision and the nasty, viscious creatures seen in the movie 30 Days of Night:

Now THAT'S a Vampire!

And so, with this in mind, I bring you the third excerpt from my entry into last years' 3 Day Novel contest. The entry is a short novel, written in 3 days, as per the rules, so it's definitely a bit rough around the edges, but I believe it turned out rather well for a 3 day marathon effort. So, without further ado, I give you excerpt #3 from Hunter's Bluff, my attempt to return vampires to the state to which they rightfully belong, while at the same time hopefully injecting some new ideas.

(Enjoy, and feel free to offer any criticisms you may have.)


For those who can't be bothered checking over the other(s), I will give you a quick summation of what I have thus far posted:

The Summary of the Story Thus Far

Part 1:

-We met our group of vampires. Gideon, the leader, and the other two, Uriah, and Elijah.
-The vamps were exiled to a remote, small town after plotting against their leader
-The town is now abandoned
-The vampires live in a hierarchical social structure
-They prepare to head out for what could be another fruitless night of hunting, not realizing they have humans in their midst

Part 2:

-We met a few of the humans, but are not aware of their situation beyond the present
-Andrew, Sam, and Amanda are in a seemingly abandoned house
-Andrew and Sam are investigating upstairs, while Amanda sleeps listlessly on the couch downstairs
-They find the attic door open, and are greeted by the coppery, unmistakable smell of blood
-Sam begins to ascend the stairs.........
-Outside, Gideon hears a yell, and is filled with a triumphant sort of vindication as he realizes it's human
-Gideon heads towards the place from which the sound originated.....an abandoned house.....

And now, I give you part three of the saga:

Sam reached the top step and poked his head into the opening. He saw nothing at all. However, the smell of blood had grown stronger. Much stronger. He hoisted himself up into the attic and shined his light around. Nothing.

Andrew's voice rang out from below. “Sam!!” A second later, he called out again. “SAM!”

Turning around to the entrance, his flashlight beam caught something that made his heart stop and his breath catch in his throat. He gasped. There, in the small space behind the door, crammed into the corner, was what appeared to be a female in her early to mid thirties. She was either unconscious or dead, which of the two it was was not readily apparent. Sam tried to scream but couldn't muster the breath to do so. He was paralyzed by fear and disgust. This was the most pure, naked terror he had ever felt in his life.

Andrew materialized in the hole, his face fraught with fear. Seeing Sam standing there, frozen in place, a look of pure horror on his face, he started to climb up, while simultaneously asking what it was that Sam was seeing.

“What, what?” “What the fuck is it?? he asked, as he quickly climbed up the few steps. He stepped onto the floor and then turned around. When he saw the woman crumpled against the wall, head tilted to one side, dead, with a tourniquet over a half missing arm, another over a half gone leg, bite and claw marks covering her body, a gaping, poorly bandaged wound in her neck, and covered in blood, he screamed the scream that Sam had not been able to muster, and he screamed loud and long enough for the both of them.

---------------

Downstairs, Amanda woke up with a start.

---------------

Outside, Gideon smiled ruefully as he zeroed in on the location of what he planned to make the contents of his, and his fellow predators', next several meals. He quickened his pace to a near run. As he did so, he mentally channeled Uriah and sent him an order to round up Elijah and come to his location. He got the house in sight and charged at it full speed. He got within five feet of it and leapt.

---------------

In the house, Amanda was up and instantly alert. She screamed Andrew's name, and started to run, when she tripped and fell. She could not see much in front of her, so she turned back to the couch and groped around for her flashlight, located it,flipped it on, ran to the kitchen and grabbed one of the knives, and then ran for the stairs, taking them two at a time. She arrived upstairs and saw the ladder that led up to the attic. Without hesitation, she ran towards it and as she was climbing up, there came a terrible crash from the attic above her. The sound of breaking glass was enormous. She got high enough to see the backs of Sam and Andrew, and then from in front of them, came a voice that caused her entire body to run cold. It was the scariest sounding thing she had ever heard. It was deep and raspy, and it immediately conveyed to her that whatever possessed such a voice was evil, not human, and ancient.

“Gentlemen, pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Gideon, and I will be your host for the foreseeable future.” This was punctuated with a laugh that matched the voice for bone chilling coldness.

The End

Hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to comment, critisize, praise, admonish, etc etc etc.

My Attempt To Return Vampires to Glory. Pt. 2

PLEASE NOTE: You should, before reading this, definitely read PART ONE if you already have not. I strongly recommend doing so. It will only take you a few minutes, and will greatly enhance the 'experience,' if you will, of reading this one. Thanks, and enjoy!

It's a sad time to be a fan of vampire lore. They started off so well. From Bram Stoker to Anne Rice, vampires have become entrenched in our consciousness, and for good reason. Terrifying yet alluring, these creatures who roam by night and sleep by day strike both fear and curiosity into those who encounter them.

But now......

Now Hollywood has taken vampires and comepletely ruined them. Vampires to not go to school. They do not engage in teen romaces. The certainly do not glitter in the sunlight!

Vampires should be nasty creatures who can put on a veneer of civility if it suits them. They are essentially undead psychopaths. There have been varying iterations of these creatures throughout the years, sarting with Bram Stoker's vision of a refined gentleman living in a gothic castle who harbored a......nasty little secret, and unfortunately culminating in the affront to the horror genre we see today:


Really, what the hell is that?

My personal idea of what vampires should be is a cross between Stoker's original vision and the nasty, viscious creatures seen in the movie 30 Days of Night:

Now THAT'S a Vampire!

And so, with this in mind, I bring you a second excerpt from my entry into last years' 3 Day Novel contest. The entry is a short novel, written in 3 days, as per the rules, so it's definitely a bit rough around the edges, but I believe it turned out rather well for a 3 day marathon effort. So, without further ado, I give you excerpt #2 from Hunter's Bluff, my attempt to return vampires to the state to which they rightfully belong, while at the same time hopefully injecting some new ideas.

(Enjoy, and feel free to offer any criticisms you may have.)

In the house, Amanda rolled over in her sleep. Andrew and Sam were just reaching the top of the stairs. Eyes moving in all directions, breathing rapidly, they stopped, listening. Again, they heard nothing. They reached the top of the stairs. Sam looked left, and Andrew went right. Sam began to think he may have imagined the sound after all, when Andrew gave a yell. Startled, he turned quickly around, instinctively raising the knife over his head, his grip on it so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

Andrew was looking at the door at the right end of the hall, mouth agape. Sam followed his gaze and he too dropped his lower jaw. The door in question was at the very end of the hall, and it led upwards, into the attic. It was also slightly ajar. Both of them thought this very odd, as they had searched the entire house upon entering it, before settling in the kitchen, and the attic door had not been open then. They hadn't bothered to enter it, since they'd thought of no reason to do so. But they knew for sure that the door was not open when they had been upstairs earlier.

There's someone in there, Andrew thought.

Something's in there. But what? Sam.

They looked at each other, unsure of what to do. They stood silent, eyes never leaving the door that led to the attic. They had no idea what to expect. There were no sounds coming from the attic. The door was still, not opening further, nor slamming shut. No hand reached out to beckon them in.

Nothing. Totally silent, motionless. The door hung ever so slightly agape, binding them to the spots in which they currently stood. Immobilizing and perplexing them.

Daring them to enter.

Sam was the first to move. With the knife still held above his head, he stepped around Andrew and dared to take three steps towards the attic, and then froze, waiting for something, anything to happen, some sort of indication as to whether or not the attic was actually occupied. A few dozen seconds passed, and nothing happened. He turned to Andrew and whispered.

“Maybe the door is just loose.”

At this, Andrew felt some of the fear dissipate. He immediately agreed with this proposition. Whether it was because it seemed the likeliest or because it served to alleviate fear and take his mind off of some alternatives, he did not know. Just to prove that this was the explanation, he approached the attic door and reached up to close it. And that was when he smelled it. Something metallic.

Coppery.

Blood. He stepped back from the door and turned to Sam.

“What is it, what, what?” Sam couldn't take it anymore. His fight/flight response had been triggered for and he was ready to just pick one course of action and commit to it.

Andrew looked at him, his eyes wide with fear. “Blood,” he whispered, “I smell blood.” He stammered. “I-I don't under-,” he shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. “Let's go, NOW!” He rushed down the hall, towards the stairs. As he neared Sam, Sam grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Just wait a second, there might be someone in there that needs help.” He wasn't sure what was up there, but he know that it was possible there was someone up there that needed assistance, and he was not going to abandon them if he could help it. He also knew Andrew would feel the same, it was just that he was overcome with fear. Sam himself was terrified, but he also knew that the possibility that some crazed killer was hiding in the attic of the house just biding his or her time waiting for someone to walk up there was pretty outlandish.

Ah, but it's possible, his mind interjected.

He pushed away the thought. “Wait here.” Gripping the knife as tightly as possible, he approached the attic door, and slowly, slowly, reached an arm up to grab hold of its bottom. It was an old style one with a ladder attached to it. He hesitated with his hand on it. He counted to five.

So far so good.

He pulled the door all the way down and slid down the ladder, trying to be as quiet as possible. Both he and Andrew winced at the sound it made hitting the floor. Again he counted silently to five.

And again, nothing. No sound, no movement, no crazed killers' face or groping hand with an iron grip.

Sam began to ascend the stairs.

----------------------------------------------

Outside, Gideon froze. He had heard something. A yell, coming from somewhere close by. It was faint, coming from inside somewhere and probably not very loud, but for him, it was perceptible. Faint, and although he wasn't able to zero in on its location, he knew he'd definitely heard something, and it came from somewhere close by.

And it was human.

A feeling of triumphant vindication and excitement rose up within the ancient creature. Even after hundreds of years, the thrill of the hunt still appealed to him, still aroused the senses. And now, in his current state of hunger, how fortuitous that a human, no, more than one human, should suddenly materialize in his little corner of the world? He had been correct, the other human had not been alone.

Such predictable little gnats they were. To think he himself once had been a member of their ranks. The thought was nauseating. Humans were stupid, despicable, scurrying, worthless creatures. But they were tasty.

Oh yes. And he shall have that taste again, and soon. It had been a long time prior to this evening. He had gone hungry for human flesh and blood for some time, and what he'd had this so far this evening was but a taste. He'd survived for nearly two months on the wildlife in the surrounding area. Whatever little creatures he could catch. They provided enough sustenance to sustain life, but it wasn't enough. He'd been hungry, and he hadn't enjoyed a hearty meal in quite some time.

But now, he had stumbled upon a veritable feast of flesh. He wasn't naive enough to believe that there was some being out there, looking out for him, and making provisions, but in this moment, he could understand why the stupid humans fooled themselves with such pitiful and petty indulgences of thought.

He started to head in the general direction from which the sound had originated.

EDIT: Here's PART THREE

My Attempt To Return Vampires to Glory. Pt. 1

It's a sad time to be a fan of vampire lore. They started off so well. From Bram Stoker to Anne Rice, vampires have become entrenched in our consciousness, and for good reason. Terrifying yet alluring, these creatures who roam by night and sleep by day strike both fear and curiosity into those who encounter them.

But now......

Now Hollywood has taken vampires and comepletely ruined them. Vampires to not go to school. They do not engage in teen romaces. The certainly do not glitter in the sunlight!

Vampires should be nasty creatures who can put on a veneer of civility if it suits them. They are essentially undead psychopaths. There have been varying iterations of these creatures throughout the years, sarting with Bram Stoker's vision of a refined gentleman living in a gothic castle who harbored a......nasty little secret, and unfortunately culminating in the affront to the horror genre we see today:


Really, what the hell is that?

My personal idea of what vampires should be is a cross between Stoker's original vision and the nasty, viscious creatures seen in the movie 30 Days of Night:

Now THAT'S a Vampire!

And so, with this in mind, I bring you an excerpt from my entry into last years' 3 Day Novel contest, still in the judging phase. The entry is a short novel, written in 3 days, as per the rules, so it's definitely a bit rough around the edges, but I believe it turned out rather well for a 3 day marathon effort. So, without further ado, I give you an excerpt from Hunter's Bluff, my attempt to return vampires to the state to which they rightfully belong, while at the same time hopefully injecting some new ideas.

(Enjoy, and feel free to offer any criticisms you may have. If this garners enough interest, I'll post more, so let me know if you're interested or not.)

As the shadows grew longer and longer in Hunter's Bluff, and as the night began to take over the day, there grew a certain restlessness. In a cave at the south end of the city, the existence of which was and always had been completely unknown to all humans; the entrance hidden in the underbrush of the forest at the city lines, creatures, centuries old and confined to slumber during the day, began to awaken, slowly, in stages. Muscles began to contract as nerve impulses were sent, readying them for the mobility which was soon to come. Dreams of splendor and feasting were broken up and dissipated, giving rise to a growing consciousness as these creatures, anxious to begin an evening anew, awakened from their slumber. These particular few, however, drew from their slumber as though drunken. Weary, weakened, they rose unsteadily to their feet. Some more so than others, as all were in various stages of starvation. These few, however more fortunate than some of their comrades who now, unbeknownst to them, lay dead on a highway, were much less fortunate than their former kin, who lived a life of spoil and splendor, in parts of the world long left behind, feeding upon humans, drinking their maddeningly tasty, nourishing, rejuvenating blood.

No, these few were confined to this reclusive little town by a master incensed by their audacity. For these few, along with their fallen brethren, had dared to challenge his authority, had even the tenacity to try and overtake him. Their former master, whose very name they dare not speak, for it can burn the tongue it crosses, or so it has been said, had, approximately a year and a half earlier, banished the ungrateful few to a remote area with a limited food supply and left them to their fates.

The group of exiled creatures had totaled eleven. Their numbers had been reduced down to three by this day. Five had, due to starvation once the human and animal food supplies had started to run thin, ventured off, at varying times, to try and locate another town that some had believed existed somewhere nearby. Some among their ranks believed this was nothing but a myth. No one who had ventured out had ever returned. None knew for sure what this meant. One other had died of starvation, and two others had died by turning on another one of their kind and trying to feed, which was fatal for these creatures. They had been cognizant of this fact, but the poisoned blood had proved to be too tempting for these frantic, blood thirsty creatures.

The remaining three creatures, now awakened, were a fearsome looking group, even in their compromised conditions. They were as tall as any human revered for height, and stronger and more agile than any human could ever be, although these attributed had been diminished somewhat, to varying degrees, due to their malnourishment. They had complexions so fair they were almost translucent. As they rose from their slumber, there was a sing song of gnashing teeth. Teeth so sharp they could, and have, cut through bone. Teeth hungry for flesh and palettes quenched only by the taste of blood. Teeth that were sharpened to a point.

They had wispy, jet back hair, and black eyes that struck a deep, all encompassing fear into anyone unfortunate enough to be gazing into them. Their arms were unsettlingly long, and they ended in clawed hands with yellowed, razor sharp nails. They were dressed all in black. They looked identical, save for their differing body weights due starvation. However, although their appearance would lend the impression that there are no differences between them, they still had a hierarchical social order, and this division was based mainly upon intelligence. They all possessed a savage brutality, an unquenchable blood thirst, but some possessed enough intelligence, cunning, and foresight to formulate plans and think ahead, and, when they determined it to be advantageous, they had the ability to exercise restraint. This use of this ability had become more useful, but harder to employ, as their food supply dwindled.

This social order had been headed up by their former master, and this had been the arrangement for centuries until the group of eleven had dared plot against him. This order had been broken and the eleven had been banished to Hunter's Bluff, to fend for themselves until eventuality had run its course. Amongst the eleven, there had remained a hierarchical division, and even now, with that broken down to three remaining members, there still existed a for of that hierarchy. The most intelligent of the three, Gideon, was the leader. He stepped forward, fully aroused from his slumber, and called two the other two, Uriah, and Elijah.

“Come.” He beckoned to them, his voice raspy and very deep. Uriah and Elijah, shaking off the last of their sleep, heeded his call.

Elijah was by far the least intelligent of the three, and he mainly operated on instinct, allowing his hunger to dictate his behaviour. If left unchecked, that is. In the situation they had been thrust into, Gideon had to keep control of him, for all their sakes.

Uriah's level of intelligence was much higher than Elijah's, but he did not possess the mental prowess that Gideon did. He lacked much of the foresight, and some of the restraint. He was able to rein in his hunger when needed, but he had been known to slip, especially in the early part of their ordeal, when they had first arrived here at Hunter's Bluff. He had, with Gideon's help, learned to control it, and often times found himself helping to rein in Elijah.

Now, the three of them stood together, awakened, ready to stalk the night in hopes of locating some animals on which to feed. The wildlife supply in and around the town was dwindling, and some nights passed without a single feeding. Animal blood fulfilled their nutritional requirements, but it was human blood that brought ecstasy. Human blood was divine. It had been fifty-seven days since they'd had the opportunity to feed on a human, a fact that escaped none of them. At this moment, facing the possibility of another night gone by with nothing to eat, the idea that there were four humans ripe for consumption would have brought tremendous excitement. However, at least for now, these three hideous, horrifying creatures did not realize they had humans in their midst. And so it was that they stepped out into the night expecting yet another uneventful evening.

NOTE: Here is PART TWO if you are interested in reading more. Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed this.