A Message to Catholics

How To Add Video Responses In New Youtube Layout 2010

Then and Now: Xbox 360 Hardware Review (I laugh at myself)

Let's go through and dissect my 5 year old, amatuerish xbox 360 hardware review, shall we? Keep in mind, i don't mean dissect the review in terms of review quality (which was piss fucking poor......MAN I have improved tremendously in the ensuing years), I simply mean how much of what I said still holds true today, and if I made any predictions, how did they hold up? New comments will be bolded and in red text for easy reading.

"If Only it Could Cook...."

Note: I have a premium xbox 360, which included a 20GB hard drive, microphone, remote control, component inputs and a wireless controller.

And sound the buzzer!! That premium 360 was 4 xbox 360's ago. Fucking piece of shit console......

External Design 10/10

The system looks really nice with a sleek, concaved design, all in white with removable and interchangeable faceplates (Sold seprately). It is made to sit either horizontally or vertically. The drive is a dual layered DVD drive, which some say is limiting. The worst case scenario would be 2 disc games down the road, which should present little to no problem.

And Sound the Buzzer Again!! There are now 3 and 4 disc games. Is this a major roadblock? Not for gamers, no, but it is for the publishers. Would I mind having to swtich discs every 15-20 hours for the odd game? No, of course not.

It's power supply is external, and it is really huge. It looks like the Ghostbusters trap. If there's ever a Ghostbusters game they shouls include a decal for the power bar to make it look like the trap. Anyways........

Wow, original joke is original!!

The Controller: 10//10

Similar to the Controller "S" except the black and white are replaced by two shoulder buttons, and the guide button was added, which gives you access to the dashboard (operating system/desktop type thing) at any time without leaving the game. This lets you access Live or custom sound tracks,a mong other things.

This isn't terribly offensive to the modern gamer. The controller really is excellent, save for the lacking dpad (which of course Mr. Blinded by new console joy failed to mention/notice).

Internal Design: 10/10

The operating system is a modified Windows OS that uses a "blade" system which essentailly is a series of menus that reside side by side on the screen, and can be switched between merely by pressing left or right on the controller or remote. This setup is terrific. It lets you seamlessly and flawlessly switch between menus for both online and offlien content, acessing videos, music, friends list, game demos, the xbox Live service, etc.

The console has a profile system that lets you set settings for all the games you play, for example if you play FPS games they will all now recognize your aim settings (inverted or not). Like racing games? It lets you decide whether the games will use the buttons or triggers for gas/brake. These profiles also tie into your Live account and store game data such as achievements, which are different goals in each game that allow you to score gamerpoints, which are just points used to compare yourself to other gamers.

The dashboard can be accessed at any time by puishing the guide button on the controller, so you can turn on custom soundtracks, check messages, etc.

Speaking of custom soundtracks, now your music can be streamed from your PC or played off the xbox hard drive in ANY GAME. I wirelessly stream music from my PC downstairs during games, it's really a great feature.

The tech specs are well known so I won't go into it but needless to say this harware is an absolute beast. As far as graphics are concerned, it will literally be up to the developers, as this thing is powerful. It shouldn't limit anyone in any way, at least not for a few years.

Well, no one could have forseen the onset of the NXE revolution (my ass) but other than that, this pretty much holds up. YAY magx01!!!

Xbox Live: 10/10

I can now play Smash Tv online. That alone seals the deal for me. But you are not me, so I will expand further.

Games support 32 players onlien now, 50+ in the future.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Funny, because just the other day, my buddy and I were excited to be able to play with 20 people in a Blur race.

FUCKING FAIL.

You can play custom music while online. There is a private chat feature, this is really neat because you can chat with someone over the mic while you are both doing different hings like watching a dvd or playing a game.

Poor, naive magx. Didn't realize they were going to KILL your favourite feature to appease Infinity Ward, did you? Actually, buddy, it's okay, it's not dead. It's disabled on a game by game basis, and it's up to the developers whether or not they want a silent community who's cheating with their teams in private chats or.......YES, EXACTLY!! IT'S FUCKING DEAD!!! THANKS YOU STUPID FPS PLAYERS :(

*cries*

I used to love playing an arcade game and chatting with a friend while he played an FPS. Well, not anymore.

There is now an xbox Live Marketplace which is an area that hosts download content, both free

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and not,

Got that part right, bub!!

including the traditional download content like maps, guns, characters, etc, and also now free game demos, trailers, and more.

EW, did I actually say preface the word demo with the word FREE? Man I was either blinded by fanboy newness or I have really changed in the last 5 years. OF COURSE THEY ARE FUCKING FREE!!! THEY ARE ADVERTISEMENTS FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later on users will be a ble to sell their custom content creted in a game, for example create a map in Halo3 or Timesplitters 4 and sell it for 100 Microsoft points. (explained soon)

WHERE IN THE FUCK DID I GET THIS HORSESHIT? WAS MS SPREADING THAT BULLSHIT OR WERE THE GAMERS? WHAT A LOAD OF DONKEY SHIT!!!!!!!

Xbox Live Arcade has been very well integrated now, a free game (Hexic HD) is pre-loaded on the hard drive and all games have a free trial to download. If you want to purchase anything, you do so by purchasing the aforementioned Microsoft points which are then redeemable for hatever it is you fany on Live. These points are like online currency, you buy a bunch then spend them on various things, some games like SMASH TV are 400 points while others are 800 or 1200.

Features: 10/10

Already mentioned are the custom soundtracks, provate chat, xbox live, achievemnts, and music streaming.

Also included is:

the ability to act as a DVR if you have a Windows Media Center PC.

UH, CAN IT? I don't think it can, can it?

Wireless gaming and PC connection.

DVD playback with progressive scan

Whoa!!! Welcome to the future!! The Flux Capacitor is the Power!!!

5.1 Dolby Digital Output

HDTV optimization

My personal best moment thus far:

I played SMASH TV online co-op while chatting with a friend of mine in a private chat (he was playing Perfect Dark at the same time) and streaming music wirelssly from my PC. While doing this, no lag or hiccups at all, it's all so seamless and perfect.

True, still true (save for the fact that the cross game chatting it going to go the way of the dodo......

Runner Up: Online Co-op in Perfect Dark Zero tied with sneaking up on the enemy team in COD2 without them seeing me and killing all 4 in roughly 3 seconds.

Wow, online gaming is exclusive the the 360?

Overall this system is truly amazing and is definitely next gen. Teh (who the fuck proofread this review?) graphics, sounds, features, lineup, looks all of it. Almost Perfection. Being able to downlaod game demos is huge, the lIve interface is tremendous, and it will be getting hAlo 3 (disappointment) and Ninja Gaiden 2 (another disappointment). The upcoming games like the Outfit, (ahahahahahaha)  Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (true, amazing fucking game) and especially the aforementioned amazing looking Gears of War look exceptional.

The future looks bright for Microsoft

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 12/02/05

Language.

I've been thinking a lot about language lately. Specifically, the application of language as a descriptive entity, and how overdoing it (aka hyperbole) can cause the language to lose its meaning. Language is our primary means of communication. It has served us well over the course of our history, although its (improper or callous) usage can also lead to problems of understanding. It can be problematic when you have a problem of interpretation, either due to a language barrier, or a failure on the speakers' part to speak with clarity or accuracy and consistency.

One such failure on the part of a speaker is the use of hyperbole. Hyperbole is basically exaggeration. Take for example, the word ''starving.'' What does it mean to be ''starving?'' Well, according to Wikipedia, starvation is a severe reduction in vitamin, nutrient and energy intake. It is the most extreme form of malnutrition. In humans, prolonged starvation can cause permanent organ damage[citation needed] and eventually, death.

Here is a picture of a poor little girl suffering the effects of starvation:

Tell me, how many of you look like that?

Nor do I.

Yet, I, and probably most of you, have, at some point or another, said the words ''I'm starving.'' Most of us probably say this at least once during the course of a normal week. I usually phrase it as such: ''Man, I'm fuckin starving!'' Tell me, does being hungry due to a lack of food intake for the last few hours actually qualify as starving?

Tell me, are we actually starving, or just hungry?

How about when it comes to pain? How often you you say that your such and such is ''killing you?'' ''Oh man, my back is killing me!'' Tell me, does back soreness due to odd sleeping position actually qualify as killing you?

What's my point? Well, if mild-moderate back pain and mild-moderate hunger qualify as ''killing'' you and starvation, respectively, then what the fuck do you call severe pain and type of hunger represented by that above picture? Do we invent new words for those? Are we actually equating these scenarios? Can we stretch the words that thin?

Other examples of this that seem to be happening more and more frequently these days are the words socialism, socialist, communism, communist, fascism, fascist and Nazi being thrown around by both the American media and the American people, almost always being applied to their president, Barack Obama, and his policies. I think these are quite clearly examples of words being tossed around to such a hyperbolas (is that a word? I dunno, if not, it is now!) degree that they are losing their meaning. I mean, really, if Obama is a fascist, then what the fuck do you call Benito Mussolini? I mean really, are you going to equate the two men? Any sane, rational person would hopefully be exorbitantly reluctant to do so. Yet people do.

The previous examples also exemplify how language can be used to elicit emotions in people, and, specifically in those examples, emotions that are misaligned. Obama is a not a fascist, and when you convince someone that he is, you end up causing someone to be afraid of something that warrants or merits no such fear. This is why I believe people need to be a little more careful with their usage of rhetorical devices like hyperbole, and just language in general. So, next time you have a mild headache, say that your head hurts. Not that it's killing you. Otherwise, what will the people dying of brain cancer say? I have a super duper killer headache?

Okay, so that last bit was me being facetious, but I hope you get my drift (so to speak).

Letter to a Christian Nation

Well, more like letter to a religious world, but that's not a particularly catchy title, is it?

;)

So, here is a short and simple, but important message from me to the religious:

If you follow what you believe to be a peaceful, loving religion, live as though that were true. Don't hate on or discriminate against gay people, atheists (or gay atheists....haha), people of a different religion, etc, and don't put up with a priest, preacher, pastor, imam, monk, family member or anyone else pushing those types of ideas. Call them out on it. Challenge them. Don't provide cover for them because you share their religion. Make it difficult and uncomfortable for them to hold (and especially promote) such views. Don't give them a free pass because you're of the same religious belief.

The same way I don't tolerate bigotry from my atheistic brethren, you should do the same. When people like Pat Robertson say the disgusting shit they do, the voices of contention seem to be largely atheistic. Ditto for the sex abuse scandals, and all sorts of other things. Let's change that. Stand up and say NO to these people.

Gay people are people just like you and I. The only difference is whom they are attracted to. That's it. Does that sound like something worthy of hate? No. Wanting to stop them from marrying someone they love is cruel and wrong. Don't be a part of that. Atheists? We're people too. Don't buy into the rhetoric that's out there, and if you're in church or synagogue, mosque or school, and you hear the religious leader talking nonsense about us, say something. Don't let hate filled ignorance exist uncontested.

We're not immoral as a people. We're not ''evil.'' We're just like you. The only difference is belief, and really, you should understand that too. Take your position on the gods you do not believe in, and that how we feel about your particular god(s). Does that sound evil to you? The reason they spread such nonsense about us should be quite obvious: we're seen as a threat. They figure if you guys mingle with atheists, you are at risk of losing your religion, and they can't have members leaving in large numbers. Think about it.

Also, about religion in general....I won't get into a long diatribe here, but allow me to say one thing: religions always get to people when they are very, very young, and they almost always villify/demonize the nonbelievers.......doesn't it seem as though they are working very hard to ensure people buy into the ideas they're espousing? Think about it. If you want people to join your group and share your beliefs, and this belief is generally predicated on something as potentially tenuous as faith, doesn't starting really young and demonizing nonbelievers make sense, in a manipulative sort of way? How many people would be religious if they were
first exposed to the religion at say 20, as opposed to 4? That's all I'll say for on that for now.

Thank you for reading, and science bless ;)

God is a Terrible Parent

I try to demonstrate how silly and disingenuous the free will argument is as applied to the problem of evil by equating it to a ridiculous hypothetical situation. I frame it in terms of a parenting situation.

I believe this to be a valid point, but this is presented in a less serious and highly exaggerated manner.

Perfect Dark XBLA Review

Perfect Dark XBLA Review

Note: a more aesthetically appealing version of this review can be seen at http://www.gameronfire.com/index.php/component/content/article/49-xbox-reviews/119-perfect-dark-xbla-review

Development studio 4J Studios has teamed up with Microsoft to give us a touched up port of the classic N64 shooter Perfect Dark. This latest version of the game was released on March 17^th, 2010, and is available on the xbox live marketplace for the very reasonable sum of 800 MS Points ($10).

Perfect Dark is set in the year 2023. Upon starting the game, you find yourself embroiled in an interstellar war between two races: the Maians, who look like the typical "greys" you see in science fiction media, and the Skedar, which are a reptile-like race who have the ability to disguise themselves as humans. On Earth, there is an on-going rivalry between two factions. The Carrington Institute, founded by Daniel Carrington, is officially a research and development center that secretly operates an espionage group who is in cahoots with one of the alien races (the Maians).

The second group involved in the earth based conflict is DataDyne, a defense contractor, who, predictably enough, has ties to the Skedar aliens. The player assumes the role of Joanna Dark, a Carrington Institute agent who is codenamed "Perfect Dark" due to her exemplary combat abilities. You are tasked with both investigating the activities of DataDyne and rescuing a Dr. Carroll from DataDyne HQ. The story then takes off from there, and I'll leave the rest for you to discover.

The single player campaign consists of 17 missions (as well as three bonus missions) and three difficulties: Agent, Special Agent, and Perfect Agent. The different difficulty settings not only change the difficulty of the enemy AI, but also the number of objectives that need to be completed during the course of each mission. This leads to a much varied experience as you progress from difficulty to difficulty. These objectives must be completed without the aid of maps, indicators or waypoints, so, true to classic gaming standards, the player must find their own way. This, in addition to the sometimes repetitive corridors and rooms will certainly lead to a new player getting lost from time to time.

Also, the mission objectives tend to be fairly ambiguous at times, and so, if you are not familiar with them, you can expect to find yourself restarting missions due to failed objectives. This trial and error sort of gameplay was quite common when this game was released, and as such, wasn't much of an issue then. It very well may be to newer gamers who aren't quite experienced with this sort of thing, as newer games tend to hand hold the players a bit more (not necessarily a bad thing, mind you.

The aforementioned navigation issues, in addition to the sometimes ambiguous mission objectives and the obviously dated graphics (even with the texture updates implemented by 4J Studios), present three of four caveats that any potential buyer faces when considering a purchase. Of course, these caveats only apply to newcomers, as gamers familiar with the game will likely know their way around the game and already be familiar with the graphics. Actually, any newcomer who has experience with games a decade old or older can remove the graphics from the complaint list as well. This just leaves the navigation and objectives issues, and of course, this is assuming you're not just purchasing this title for the rather famous multiplayer. If so, then the campaign issues do not apply.

The fourth caveat is the fact that the game utilizes a bounding box style of aiming for the so called manual aim (zoom mode, basically). This means that your reticule can only move within a set space on the screen, which stays stationary (as opposed to the screen moving with your aim), and you must revert back to the non zoomed mode (called free aim in this game) in order to move your aim beyond this specific area of the screen. Basically, if you zoom in to fire on an enemy and miss, and the enemy continues running by, you will have to zoom out to re-track them. Also, the sensitivity adjustment found in the settings menu, while it changes the sensitivity of the free aim (non zoomed), it does not seem to affect the manual aim, and, unfortunately, the manual aim is far too sensitive. Luckily, the manual aim is not really a necessity, and there is a hefty dose of auto aim available to you to make free aim quite sufficient (you can turn it off if you so desire).

These issues aside, everything in this game is as great as you may (or may not) recall. The notoriously bad framerate found in the Nintendo 64 version is now silky smooth. The amount of weapons available for use is staggering, and each has a secondary fire mode in addition to the standard mode. The weapons range from the usual pistols and assault rifles to rocket launchers and snipers, as well as some real oddities like a rail gun that allows you to see, and shoot through, walls, and a so called laptop gun whose secondary fire feature consists of it attaching to surfaces like walls and floors once thrown and acting like an automated turret. Another gun turns into a proximity mine. And so on and so forth. The guns are truly a spectacle, and a huge part of what makes this game so special. These guns are all available for use during both single player, co-operative, and multiplayer modes.

In addition to playing the campaign solo, there is a co-operative mode, which allows two players to play through it together. The second player assumes to role of Joanna's sister, and the two of them work together to uncover the conspiracy unfolding over at DataDyne. In what is a recurring theme with this incredibly innovative game, there is an original mode called counteroperative, which is the antithesis of the cooperative campaign. Rather than work together, one player assumes the role of Joanna, while the other takes on a role as an enemy. If Joanna kills the second player, that person respawns in control of another enemy AI. This patter continues until either Joanna or all of the player controlled enemies are killed (or the objectives are completed). This mode can be played both locally via splitscreen and online, as can the co-operative mode.

Rounding out the non versus multiplayer modes are the challenges and the weapons training events. The challenges are essentially multiplayer scenarios that find the player against bots with specific requirements to be met in order to achieve completion status. This mode, in addition to providing practice, is also the method through which additional weapons are unlocked for use in the multiplayer. The weapons training mode is self explanatory. It's a shooting range with goals to meet for each weapon.

Before moving on to the multiplayer, it should be mentioned that there are a substantial number of cheats that can be unlocked. The method of achieving this is to complete certain campaign levels within specific time limits. These range from quite doable to seemingly impossible, and will provide the non seasoned player with much extra challenge, if they so seek it.

And now, the aspect of the game that many of you are likely most interested in, the multiplayer. The multiplayer is fully intact in this version of the game. A multitude of maps, including the remakes of 3 maps originally found in Goldeneye are present and accounted for. The multiplayer is fast, fun, and furious, as well as varied. Bots can be added into games to fill out the roster of the amount of human players is lacking. All of the modes, including classics like King of the Hill, Capture the Base, solo and team combat (deathmatch) and Hold the Briefcase, are here, as well as two modes the were much more original at the time of release: Pop a Cap, and Hacker Central.

In Pop a Cap, one player is the target, and the other players are tasked with taking them out. If the target kills the pursuing players, he receives a point bonus. If the players kill the target, they receive a point, and the person who killed the target then becomes the new targeted player. Hacker Central tasks players with locating a data uplink, which they must then use to hack a computer system. Both of these items are randomly placed in the map at the start of the game. If the player carrying the data uplink is killed, it is moved to a new location. Once a player carrying the uplink reaches a terminal, they must initiate the hack and remain stationary while it progresses. It is always a wise idea to have other players providing cover during this time.

Multiplayer can be played both locally via splitscreen, which accommodates up to 4 players (who can also play with bots). As for the online, up to 8 human players and 4 bots can be present in a match at once, resulting in 12 total bodies available for you to dump bullets into. The only real issue with the multiplayer is the fact that, at least at present, there seems to be some lag present. This has been reported by many players, and while it is certainly not game breaking, it is worth mentioning. Whether or not this clears up (or is addressed via a patch) remains to be seen. As it stands, the lag is not in any way a serious hindrance. It seems to crop up in spurts, and then it dissipates, only to return minutes later, but it is only ever present for a few seconds.

Perfect Dark was an excellent FPS in 2000, and it remains so today. The gun selection is staggering, the modes available numerous and innovative, the options endless, the replay value unquantifiable. The framerate is now perfect, and perhaps best of all, it's ten dollars. Aside from the dated bounding box style of manual aim (and the far too high and unchangeable sensitivity) and the spots of lag that people, including myself, seem to be encountering, this game is nearly perfect, and frankly, upstages most modern FPS games. Perhaps not in terms of mechanics, and certainly not visually, but the options, customization, replay value, and the odd mix of simplicity and complexity make this one hell of a fun, old school game.

Oh, and no expansion pack required (N64 PD fans will know what this means).

Overall Score: 9.5/10