2012 is BULLSHIT

2012 Is NOT Going to Be The End of the World. That's Bullshit.

2012 is Bullshit.

''Hey, magx,'' cries internet conspiracy buff #232313, ''did you know the world is going to end in 2012?''

''It is?'' I ask, a knowing smile already forming, ''would you kindly tell me how?''

The conspiracy buff, not able to detect even the most thinly veiled sarcasm, takes the bait. Here's the gist of the ensuing conversation.

Claim 1: The Mayan calendar ends on Dec. 21St, 2012. This marks the end of the world, man!

Response: Before I actually get to how you're wrong about the calendar ending, let me ask you, what possible justification do you have for equating the end of an ancient calendar with the end of the world? And why, if the Mayans were somehow able to predict the end of the world, would they not have, you know........WRITTEN IT DOWN RATHER THAN BE SO FUCKING AMBIGUOUS?

Conspiracy buff: ............

Response: Exactly. Beyond that, the calendar doesn't even end. Dec. 21st marks the end of the Mayan long count period. Guess what happens next? Ya, the beginning of the next long count period.

Claim 2: Ya, but!!! But!!! Did you know a huge meteor is going to hit and wipe us all out?

Response: Astronomers watch for this very thing, and there are no meteors on course to hit the Earth in 2012.

Claim 3: Oh...well, did you know that the sun is going to like go crazy or something? There's going to be these huge solar flares, and shit's going to get fucked up!

Response: Solar flares are a normal occurrence. We see peak flare activity about every decade. And you're actually right, there might be increased solar flare activity in 2012. It's on track for a 2012-2014 peak period. But I'm telling you, the worst that happens is an interruption in some satellite communications. Which actually does suck to some degree. And is an actual problem, but engineers are at work on this very issue, and the issue is of minor concern at best, not climactic concern.

Claim 4: There's this planet called Planet X, or Nibiru, that is set to collide with the Earth in 2012.

Response: No, there's not.

......Okay, okay, I'll expand on that, but, at the risk of sounding condescending, I really shouldn't have to. Why don't you people stop listening to random internet websites and radio crackpots, and start, I don't know......going to the actual science?. Just like with anthropogenic global warming, evolution, 9/11 controlled demolition theory....all of this stuff is appropriately dealt with if you actually take the time to research the actual science, and not get sucked into accepting the shit floating around out there, just because it's easy, prepackaged microwave friendly information with some convincing sounding information and scary music.

Ugh....anyways, there's no such planet. Astronomers would have seen it decades ago, and if it existed, and was on course to hit us in 2 years, we would actually be able to see it with the naked eye. And yes, I have heard some nutcases trying to say that the astronomers are incorrect, and that it's not able to be seen, which they ''support'' with some fancy sounding pseudoscientific nonsense, but again, simple logic people:

If it can't be seen, HOW THE FUCK DO THEY KNOW ABOUT IT? Also, let's say that there's a way, such as anomalies in the solar system that could only be accounted for by the existence of some dwarf planet in the inner solar system, and not outer (like Eris, which is real), HOW WOULD THESE PEOPLE KNOW THIS AND NOT THE ACTUAL EXPERTS?

Claim 5: Well.....the astronomers don't want to tell you man, it's a conspiracy!

Response: If it were that fucking easy to discover, they would be stupid to keep it secret, since they would know that any armchair astronomer could discover it, and the jig would be up. Now, to be fair, I know the response is that if they don't admit it, they can deny deny deny, and the reason they don't admit it is to stave off the ensuing panic. I get that, and grant you that it actually makes sense.

Problem is, you guys think it's so easy for huge groups of people in all sorts of countries and organizations, including governments, are so adept at keeping secrets, but it's not true. There's no way it wouldn't slip. They couldn't keep the teapot dome scandal quiet, Watergate, the Illinois senator trying to sell a senate seat, etc etc etc. All involving small groups of people, and all known. People can't keep secrets, and on such a large scale, it's impossible.

Another thing is, if they somehow were able to keep a major secret of this nature, you're still not thinking this through. Think about it, what makes more sense:

1) Keeping the planet secret, knowing that the armchair astronomers will discover it, and leak the information anyways?

OR

2) Telling people, but telling them we know how to deal with it and avoid disaster? If you think they can keep secrets so well, then they could make up a plausible sounding solution, and there you go, no panic.

All of this also applies to other conspiracies, not just Nibiru/Planet X

Claim 6: Okay, but did you know that the Earth's polarity is going to shift? The Earth's Crust is going to do a 180 degree rotation, brosauce. Also, there's going to be a reversal in the Earth's magnetic polarity.

Response: It's impossible for the Earth's rotation to reverse. It does wobble in its axis in a 25, 800 year long cycle. This phenomena is called precession. As for the change in magnetic polarity, this actually does happen. Magnetic reversals occur every 400,000 years or so. This is not due to happen for thousands more years. And we don't have ANY evidence that this even impacts life on Earth.

You could say that we don't know for sure, and I could say....we don't know that it DOES, so making a positive claimlike you guys do is baseless. As for the fact that we don't know that it doesn't, look it up (not on conspiracy site) and see. I'm not well versed on the process beyond what I have already said, so I can't comment further.

Claim 7: Okay, that stuff might have been wrong.....maaaaaaaaaaybe......but this one is true. Planetary alignment baby. The planets are all going to align, and that will screw up the Earth's gravity....or something.

Respone: There are no planetary alignments due to occur for decades, let alone in 2012, and even if all of them aligned, the effects on the Earth would be of little concern.

Claim 8: Fine, whatever. How come Earthquakes have been on the rise?

Response: No, they have not. The frequency of earthquakes has remained stable since 1900. I can provide you geological data to back this up, although, frankly, you should be doing this yourself if you are going to make such baseless, erroneous claims.

Now let me ask you something: Did you know there have been thousands of dates heralded as the end of the world? And did you know 100% of them have been wrong? The world WILL end, at some point, but not in 2012. When it does end, there are several ways it could go down.

My money is on a gamma ray burst, which are flashes of gamma rays (aka super intense radiation) that occur when stars go supernova. These fuckers are so incredibly intense that, and I want to listen to this very closely, because it's just do incredibly mind blowing, a typical gamma ray burst releases as much energy in a few seconds as the Sun will in its entire lifetime. Ya, seriously.

The End