Monday, January 17, 2011

Fun with the Bible! Part Two.

This two part blog series will examine a select few inspirational biblical quotes in an effort to ascertain just how accurate the bible is in terms of science, and just how moral it is. This isn't going to be overly comprehensive, just a select few. The point is made rather easily. No need to be redundant, redundant, is there, is there?? This is Part 2.

Go ahead and buy some slaves:

Leviticus 25: 44-46
Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

Kid acting up? Stone his ass to death!:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21:
If a man has a son who is stubborn and rebels, who will not obey his father's voice or his mother's voice, even when they have chastened him he will not listen to them, (19) then his father and his mother shall lay hold on him and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place. (20) And they shall say to the elders of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. (21) And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones so that he dies. So shall you put evil away from you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.

Take a shit for Jesus:

Philemon 1:20:
"Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord."

Gotta hate your family and your own life to follow Jesus:

Luke 14:26:
If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.

If 2 men are fighting and a wife accidentally grabs her husband's dick while intervening, her hand is to be cut off:

Deuteronomy 25:11-12:
When men strive together with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to deliver her husband out of the hand of him who strikes him, and puts forth her hand and takes him by the secret parts, (12) then you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall not pity.

If you rape a chick (and get away with it), you have to buy her from her father:

Deuteronomy 22:27-29:
For he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was none to save her. (28 If a man finds a girl, a virgin not engaged, and lays hold on her, and lies with her, and they are found, (29) then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife. Because he has humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Rape and Murder women and children (as commanded by god, through Moses):

Numbers 31: 15-18:
"Have you allowed all the women to live?" [Moses] asked them. "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the LORD's people. Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man."


  1. But it's a 'beautiful religion,' right?

  2. ANYONE can nitpick anything... Including the Bible. But without proper historical & cultural meaning & perspective, PLUS deeper understanding(providential revelation), You will never understand the info / parables contained therein - and the mystery of God, will ALWAYS stay a mystery for those who aren't able to "understand".

    Just a thought...

  3. ^Translation: You just don't get it, Mag. lol

    What a typically lame cop out of a response... I don't see how slavery or stoning children or shit like that can somehow become meaningful once I "understand" the "mystery of God" or conveniently treat everything like a parable. Maybe I'm crazy, but shit like that is always bad, regardless of the context... -_-b

    I actually looked up Philemon 1:20, because I just couldn't believe the Bible included a line like that, and apparently other translations have altered that passage. Bowels, heart...I can see how those can be confused. XD

    The bowels translation makes more sense to me though. Religion, like the bowels, is just a conduit for shit. :P

  4. I always get a kick out of the fact that they ALL always make a blatant no true scottsman fallacy. It's amazing, really, being able to use words like 'proper' in such a, in the context of being devoid of context......chew on that one :P

  5. "I don't see how slavery or stoning children or shit like that can somehow become meaningful once I "understand" the "mystery of God" or conveniently treat everything like a parable. Maybe I'm crazy, but shit like that is always bad, regardless of the context"

    Laws, Statutes, local Ordinances... And a different time / world.

    Like I said, context of the time period in discussion. Things happened in the past because it's HUMANS that are involved, and MAN isn't perfect.

    You sensibilities right now are the result of a many hundreds of years of a American experiment(or some current first world living) that ALLOWS you to look down on the historical barbarians of men from said historical past and shake your righteous finger at them.

    But the truth is, your ass would be just as bad as the very historical people you NOW have the luxury to criticize comfortably while looking down your nose at them from some PC. Funny.

    But hey, I AM on a atheist board, so I will just pipe down & keep quiet, lol.

  6. "But the truth is, your ass would be just as bad as the very historical people you NOW have the luxury to criticize comfortably while looking down your nose at them from some PC. Funny."

    How can you say that with such certainty? You do know that there wasn't 100% uniformity with adherence to and comfortability with those laws then, right?

  7. You right, I can't. He just sounds like a a-hole. : P

    Yes, he could be completely altruistic in his beliefs, but when someone comes off condescending in their post to / about me, I tend to dig back, lol.

    Plus, this isn't even serious to me anyway, I'm just enjoying visiting the blog.

    No harm no foul. Cheers.


  8. Seph's a really nice guy, but it's all good. Hell, if you guys do fight, I'll grab some popcorn XD

  9. Nah, no fighting for me.

    His mind won't change for me and vice-versa. He prolly thinks I'm some loon or something anyway.

    But I'm just a lovable ol' fuzz-ball that readily admits yes, I don't know it all... But I'm no one's fool either.

    You right, there isn't a 100% conformity with ANYTHING concerning man(in the physical realm).

    Those Old Testament laws speak to a different age, and to a SPECIFIC people(who then even ADDED TO those laws, unnecessarily in a lot of cases), that were living under a VERY specific laws given unto them as a chosen people(Mosaic law).

    So, the point for true Christians living today when looking back at the Old Testament is to see WHY living under Grace through Christ NOW, is HIGHLY preferable then living under the LAW handed down to Moses back then.

    That's was just ONE of the many reasons the Jewish leaders of Christ's day HATED him, he saw and PROVED then that alot of those laws added were of MAN and not GOD.


  10. One question: Do you follow the ten commandments?

    ...I think you know where this is going XD

  11. I, personally follow Christ.

    For Christians, he is the (Mosaic)Law made Flesh, if you will.

    His New Testament commandments:

    1) Love God above all others
    2) Love your fellow man as Christ loves the Church

    For Christians, this trumps Mosaic law.

    Am I perfect? Of course not, as I have to work at it throughout my life here on earth.

    But the journey is just as important as the destination.

    Side benefit: living under the Law of GRACE through Christ, NOT Mosaic law dictated down from Mount Sinai, one CAN NOT pass those tests, lol. That was the point of the laws.

    Never mind the EXTRA stuff the Israelites added to the laws over time, up until Christ's fulfilling of the Law.

    So, where is this going my friend? :)


  12. Didn't Jesus say something about not striking down a letter of the law, though, or something to that effect? (I'm not asserting, I'm asking).

  13. I'd have to know the context of his convo, & with WHOM he said it to... As Jesus said alot to the multitudes, and admittedly I'm no theologian. I haven't committed every word in the Book to memory.

    But the beauty of his NEW simple commandments are that they SUM UP the VERY POINT of the original Mosaic laws(Commandments) given to the newly freed slaves out of Eygpt.

    He is, after all... 'The Law made flesh' - to Christians.

    The Jewish people of his day & now(most) didn't / don't recognize or refused to acknowledge this for whatever reasons then and now.

    So goes the Gospel of the New Testament.

    Yes, men of position & power in their respective areas of influence cared more about their status and position than the TRUTH before them.

    Who'd a thunk it? Lol.


  14. Matthew 5:17-20 'Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them'
    I don't know too much about the Bible, but this seems pretty explicit to me (The Law= The Torah/Old Testament) lol


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