Saturday, January 16, 2016

I Had a Religious Experience Thanks To A Tennis Ball, Pot and Some Stretching

Yesterday I did 90 minutes of stretching and intense myofascial release via tennis ball solely focused on my lower right side- adductors. psoas, iliopsoas, tensor fasciae latae, iliotibial band, etc after eating an edible a friend gave me and I had a goddamn religious experience. I have always heard about how intense stretching can lead to psychedelic states but until yesterday I never really went to the heights I achieved. I almost don't believe it myself (I wouldn't if I wasn't already intimately familiar with how edibles affect me; I'd just chalk it up to that) but I swear I felt like I was 20% in this world and 80% one with the universe. Pain and pleasure started to mix together with the world around me until I was swimming in sensations. I can't explain it, it was completely bananas. All I know is muscles that have been tight for like 20 years screamed at me and then released under my relentless stretching and when they did my whole body orgasmed.

I have been flirting with this stuff for a while now but I am definitely 100% on board. You all haven't felt pleasure until you release a muscle 20 years into tightening. You just have to fight through some pretty intense pain first (I had my head tilted back moaning in pain a few times).

Fuck that was amazing.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Resident Evil HD Remaster Review

One door leads to three which all lead to three and pretty soon there's a multiverse of doors and each death means going back 30 doors and I get confused.


Sunday, December 20, 2015

Shout Out to Heavy Hands Podcast

If you want to rekindle your mma love or just increase your enjoyment of it (by learning the intricacies of the game- the more you know the more you will enjoy) check out

 I started listening several months ago and I'm learning a lot. Great technical breakdown of both the ground and standing aspects of mma, as well as everything in between. Makes watching it even better as they are helping to fill the gaps in my knowledge (there are many- mma is very complex). I have learned about things I never knew or would never have noticed and that changes the act of watching the fights. It's much more exciting when you have so much more in front of you to see. Moments during which "nothing is happening" aka ground stuff (or standup fights fought with a focus on defense, range, evasion and positioning aka not slugfests) that seem 'boring' become much less so when you learn that there's more going on that it seems, You can get a whole new understanding of the game; you learn to appreciate the small, subtle things and you can even better predict fights outcomes because a lot of the time, a win starts some time before it happens.

Honestly, the whole story of the fight changes when you understand the deeper/less obvious things. You start to see layers that you didn't before. Singular moments become investments in moments often not seen until later rounds. A punch is not always meant to hurt or even score points; sometimes the idea is to get a guy moving or thinking a certain way. Two guys moving around "not doing anything" are often fighting- fighting for better foot positioning, better angles. Better chances to score. Same goes for the ground. When you first get into mma you watch it as a moment by moment type of thing but what this podcast helps you understand is that there's a meta-game going on and a lot of times it's entire sequences that need to be viewed as a move. It's often about what will come later and that's something the fans in attendance often don't get- hence the booing.

If you like mma and want to love it- try Heavy Hands. If you love mma and want to love it even more, try Heavy Hands. If you hate mma, fuck you (but still check out the podcast).

Just be warned- that theme song will addict you just as much as the insight will and you`ll find yourself singing it at work.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

My List of Badass Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games- Part Three

Part two can be found HERE

Metroid - Zero Mission

Metroid: Zero Mission Box Front

Metroid: Zero Mission Box Back

Metroid: Zero Mission Screenshot

Castlevania- Circle of the Moon

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon Box Front

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon Box Back

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon Screenshot

Saturday, November 14, 2015

My List of Badass Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games- Part Two

Part One

Medal Of Honor: Infiltrator (seriously)

Ninja Five-O

Friday, October 30, 2015

Marriage Joke

A man brings a buddy home for dinner unannounced at 7:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him while his friend just sits and listens in.

Wife: "My hair and makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?"

Husband: "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!"

Monday, October 12, 2015

Pilots Without Planes- A Titanfall Review

Titanfall is an online only shooter that takes place in a future in which humans have colonized outside of Earth but have not yet freed themselves of the shackles of violent confrontation. In a government vs. the people type scenario, diplomacy has failed, as it often does, and a violent revolution has broken out and both sides are utilizing mechanical, weaponized armour called Titans to do aid them in expressing their message of discontent. 

It would not be all that hard to understand why, to an outside observer, Titanfall might strike them as "just another fps." A standard, run of the mill first person affair replete with fast paced  action complemented by a screen covered in rpg-esque numbers and symbols; both of which work to provide immediate and visceral satisfaction and long term addictive behaviour, including the inability to refrain from buying overpriced map packs or a "season pass." Play the game however, and it becomes abundantly clear that Titanfall is more than that. The folks at Respawn Entertainment were clearly aware of the state of the genre and the long term implications of market oversaturation and worked hard to make a shooter that may look like the rest but is actually substantially different (even including addressing the pricing of post release downloadable content).