Thursday, October 21, 2010

So, You Have a Relationship with the Creator of The Universe?

How fortuitous! There's this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, eternal being which has the power to create entire universes and all of the life within them, and this being has decided to bestow upon you, one lowly human out of around 7 billion lowly humans, the very distinctive honor of having an ongoing relationship with him/her/it.

So, having made the decision, for seemingly no reason at all, to grant you this honour, this being enters your heart, hunkers down in one of your aortic valves, and remains there until the day you die, guiding you, helping you, being your spiritual guide, your confidante, your friend. And then, upon your death, this being grants you the even bigger honour of living with him/her/it for eternity in his/her/its eternal amusement park.

And all the while, there are others, just like you, who do NOT receive such gifts. They languish on the earth in spiritual limbo, so to speak, struggling with the inability to really establish a strong faith and maintain it, and for this, they are sent to the eternal torture chamber upon their earthly demise. While you munch on greasy burgers and candied apples, they get hot oil poured down their gullet. While you ride the Tilt-A-Whirl, your hair streaming around your face as your cries of joy reverberate off of the high backed seat, their screams of anguish go unheeded as the hot pokers are jabbed into their eyeballs while their lower bodies are submerged into pools of red hot magma.

And this prompts me to ask: What did you do differently? Why are you granted this special privilege? What makes you so special?

Why is it that some people's lives are saved by this being while others perish?

Why is it that some rappers careers' are helped by this being, while others are left to their own devices?

Why is it that some sports teams are helped by this being, while others are left to fend for themselves?

Why is it that some people are seemingly designed to be skeptical and incredulous when it comes to metaphysical claims, yet others are not only made to be credulous and not skeptical, but also granted that aforementioned special relationship?

What makes some people so important?

Here's a question for you: Are some people actually extra special and the deserving recipients of both a personal relationship with the creator of the entire universe and access to his/her/its eternal amusement park, or are they just people with incredible hubris, who don't even realize how incredibly narcissistic and self centered this claim really sounds? I mean, imagine, claiming that you're so special, so chosen, that the creator of the world is going to bestow upon you a relationship and eternal life. Wow.

Wow indeed.

Personally, I vote for incredible hubris. I think religion plays right into this reward schema without triggering the realization within these people that what they are claiming reeks of literally incredible hubris. Think about it: So many people die and go to hell, never knowing god.....but not you! Oh no, you get a personal relationship and eternal salvation. You have the corrrect theology, the correct god, and the relationship to seal the deal of eternal bliss, admidst a sea of torment. How fortuitous.

How fortuitous indeed.

4 comments:

  1. I have laugh every time I see an athlete thank god during an interview. How can someone believe in this almighty being that can do so much good and then think he had your back in that meaningless game when there are children all over the world at the same time.

    I know. I know he is everywhere at once. None the less according to the way you just talked in that interview he was all over what you were doing and that child is still starving.

    If you want to believe in a god that cares more about how you did in a game then about the millions starving around the world that's fine. Just know that this atheist cares more about the starving.

    Sorry Magx01. I got carried away with that hypothetical athlete.

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  2. "Hmm....starving children.....or star athlete......I choose...I choose...I choose..."

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  3. Yes, Mag...I do have a relationship with the creator of the universe. We meet with each other once every week...on Thursday...at 8 PM...




    It's called The Big Bang Theory. Ba-dum tish! :P

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  4. Ya, but it's JUST A THEORY!!!

    ;)

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