Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Being Single Is Selfish....Sure, But Relationships Are Just As Selfish

Find that shocking? Ridiculous? Demeaning? Insulting, even? Okay, tell me: Why do YOU get into relationships then? Why does anyone?

(Note: This is a follow up of sorts to an earlier post I did regarding the selfishness of having kids. Click HERE if you want to read that one.)

 Here are some (arguably) selfless reasons (I say arguably given the selfish altruism theory popular in some psychology circles):

-To keep someone else company
-To give someone else sexual gratification
-To make someone else feel loved
-To make someone else's life better/more fulfilling/more socially congruent
-To make someone else's life more comfortable/secure
-To give someone else kids

 Here are some selfish reasons to enter into a relationship:

-To have company
-To get laid
-To feel loved
-To better your life/be more socially congruent (lots of pressure to be married in many cultures)
-To be more comfortable/secure
-To have kids

Now tell me how many people you know, or have heard of (including yourself) entered into a romantic relationship on the basis of the first set of reasons as opposed to the second.


Exactly. None.

I am single right now for purely selfish reasons and I make no attempt at pretending otherwise (nor do I feel any inclination to do so; I am an open book and feel no remorse at being honest about my intentions) but for anyone in a committed relationship to sit in judgement of me (it happens) because of my choice when they themselves are just as selfish is simply not something I will abide.

In fact, when you get right down to it, I think more and more I am really starting to subscribe to the selfish altruism model of apparently selfless human behaviour and my posts here have been, and will continue to reflect this (I am working on a few that deal with this theme).

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