Let kids take risks. Let them fail. Let them get hurt. End Helicopter Parenting!

If you practice doing things in the face of possible danger as a child (sports, skateboarding, climbing trees, wrestling, etc), you become almost fearless as an adult which aids you in almost any realm (business, dating etc.). Let your kids take risks!

My ex wife HATES the way I let our daughter take risks. She HATES the way I don't coddle her when she is hurt (there's a difference between hurt and HURT, mothers) and instead insists she "mans up" so to speak. She HATES the way I let her fail over and over and over and don't lie and say everything she does is "good enough." Well in twenty years she'll be happy with who our daughter has become even if she won't have enough insight to understand how she became so. 

There's a difference between being hard and your kids/having expectations for them and being an unfeeling dick. I love the shit out of her and hug her every day. Doesn't mean the world needs to stop when she stubs a toe.

If you want your children to be self actualized, confident, powerful, contented, centered and engaged (with the world) adults..........when they are kids LET THEM BE KIDS. Helicopter parenting is the worst thing to happen to childhood since media reports of kidnappings became so prevalent (actually there's a casual relationship there which the media should have to answer for). It may sound stupid but there's a direct correlation between tree climbing and playfighting (risk taking and "violence") and adult success. Every time you tell them to stop because they "could get hurt" you're reducing their chances of succeeding later in life. Which of course you will blame them for in twenty years, adding to the damage you already caused. 

LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS.  

The Cell Phone And The Parent

The other day I was walking my dog through a park when I witnessed a scene that, far from being uncommon, is unfortunately repeated all across the world each and every day. A father (and I use that term loosely) was sitting on one of the park benches while his daughter, who seemed to be about 5 years of age, played on the playground. The entire time I was there the dad was on his cell phone (probably texting a girl), looking up only when his daughter would call out to him, asking him to watch whatever trick (in her mind they were tricks) she was about to do. And even then his glances were perfunctory; devoid of any emotion or attention.

Seeing this filled me with a potent mix of pity and anger. Pity for the girl (just imagine what kind of message her father's averted gaze sends her) and anger towards the man who is spending once in a lifetime moments with his daughter being distracted by his phone.

Those scenes sure would have made for an interesting home video. I should have offered to film it for him.

How Life Changes After Having a Kid (or at least how I felt about it two years ago)

The following is from a conversation I had online 2 years ago or so. I found it saved as a blog draft in a folder on my computer, and I remembered how I had planned on posting this here as a post about children from the point of view of someone who did not want one and did not experience a life changing shift in my viewpoint after having done so. I thought it interesting to read my thoughts at the time and compare my situation then to my situation now and I thought I would post it here given the recent post I made here about having children (if you have not read that I suggest reading it before reading this). 

Online friend speaking to a group of us online: "You guys are in your late 20's? I feel so young :( I'm only 21."

Me: "I'll be 30 in November :(

However, as depressing as that fact may be to me (very much so), much of the time I feel about your age. "Young at heart," as they say. Speaking of which, let me make a suggestion to you (any of you, really): If you plan on getting married, and/or having a kid (or kids), delay as much as possible. Get your shit together (career, finances, etc) but, more importantly, enjoy the everloving FUCK out of your twenties.

Oh Father's Day

Yes, Father's Day. The day when sons and daughters are supposed to go up and greet dad with the obligatory ''Happy Father's Day.'' Or for those who live far away, call him up (or text for the laziest of bastards). Like Mother's Day, it's nothing but an excuse to buy more shit and to force people to go out of their way to show an artificial type of love. Society pressures you to go out to dinner or buy gifts, otherwise you are seen as an unloving chump. Commercials pop up, proclaiming ''YOUR DAD IS THE GREATEST, SO BUY THIS SHIT FOR HIM NOW!!!!!!''  Phone commercials are among the worst offenders of this.

Shitty Fucking Christmas (Eve) and My Asshole Parents

Shitty Xmas and my Asshole Parents

Note: And yes, I celebrate Christmas despite being a devout, militant, evangelical, proselytizing, fundamentalist, extremist, presuppositional atheist and anti-theist, as well as of course being a devout, militant, fundamentalist, Dawkinist, Darwinian evolutionist who believes in eugenics and a perfect race.

I'm sentimental like that.

(And yes, that description of myself was tongue in cheek. The fact that you had to ask that makes me think you were lobotomized at some point in your life).