Shitty Fucking Christmas (Eve) and My Asshole Parents

Shitty Xmas and my Asshole Parents

Note: And yes, I celebrate Christmas despite being a devout, militant, evangelical, proselytizing, fundamentalist, extremist, presuppositional atheist and anti-theist, as well as of course being a devout, militant, fundamentalist, Dawkinist, Darwinian evolutionist who believes in eugenics and a perfect race.

I'm sentimental like that.

(And yes, that description of myself was tongue in cheek. The fact that you had to ask that makes me think you were lobotomized at some point in your life).

Why did Christmas suck?

Well, here's how Xmas always was for me growing up:

Christmas Eve: dinner at grandparents, then presents opened, followed by gift opening at home with parents, who saved their big gift(s) for us (like consoles) for when we got home.

Christmas Day: lunch at grandparents.

Then, after a couple of years of dating my now wife, Christmas Day became dinner with her family, and this has continued throughout our engagement and eventual marriage.

In other words, I'm an angry, evil, no account atheist who hates everything good, moral, meaningful, familial and fun, and even I think Christmas is an overall awesome time.

Except of course for the pressure. Oh, the pressure. Luckily that has decreased as the years have passed, but you all know what I mean. The marketing execs hammer home that if you don't find the perfect gift, you're a bad friend/boyfriend/wife/son/whatever, and people actually fucking buy into it, which means that you end up with people who really expect nothing short of perfection. So much for just stuffing some cash into an envelope in the car on the way to their house...stupid commercialized b.s....

Anyways, I digress. Back to ze topic at hand.

So, what went wrong this year?

Background: Why Fuckass Parents and I Do not Speak

Well, for those of you who don't know, long story short, my parents are fucking assholes and we don't speak. This has gone on intermittently for years, and solidly for the last two. Suffice it to say that the blame lies on both sides of the proverbial fence, but mostly on theirs, and I say that with all seriousness and no sense of haughty self righteousness. Here's some perspective: I have tried to fix things a few times, despite the fault being mostly theirs. I get fuck all for it. My mother once said to me, after I tried to fix things, apologizing to her for my wrongdoings, “I will never apologize to you for anything.”

Fucking nice, eh? What a mother! Fucking evil bitch.

Now, The Incident on Christmas Eve

So anyways, the last 2 Christmas Eve's we have ignored eachother (them and my wife and I). And they of course ignore their granddaughter Hannah. This is incredibly awkward for everyone there, and so this year, despite me really, really not wanting to, I though I'd say hi to them and perhaps have a little amicable superficial chatter pass between us, to assuage the families' anxiety.

I also thought there was a good chance this could blow up in my face.

Lo and behold, it fucking does.

My father completely ignored the two of us when we said hi. My mother gave us an angry looking, very obviously reluctant hello. My grandfather asked me if I said hi to them, and I told him what happened (he had been pressuring me to try and fix things for the last month or so, probably in time for xmas lol). My mother overheard me telling him that, as usual, I tried and it got me nowhere, and the stupid history re-writing bitch mumbled under her breath “bullshit” and “yeah, right” and “oh, give me a break.”

Fucking bitch. She loves to do that. Rewrites history, pretends she's innocent and plays the victim card. No, she NEVER did anything wrong, like, say spit in my face (metaphorically) when I tried to patch shit up in the past. She never started an incredibly ridiculous, vapid to the point of absurdity, bullshit, pointless argument (seriously, it was so incredibly retarded that I won't even try and explain it here; it's too fucking embarrassing and would require the reader to know and probably spend years studying my family dynamic before even comprehending the argument, that's how insanely retarded it was) the last time I went to their house (about 2.5 years ago) to try and talk. And me? I never tried to fix things. Nope, never happened. All a product of my overactive imagination and illusions of oppression.

And she went on with her mumbled lies for like 30 seconds, trying to make sure I heard her, but wanting to make sure only I did, so she could of course play the innocent victim card if I actually called her on her bullshit, which, for the sake of the people around us, I refrained from doing, despite my extremely strong desire to tell her to fuck the fuck fucking off.

Instead, I left in anger.

Then, after I was gone, my grandmother tried to get my parents to interact with Hannah. They would not. My brother told my father off. My dad left in anger shortly thereafter. Christmas Eve was ruined. All because I thought I'd try and make it better for everyone involved. Something that THEY ALL wanted me to do in the first place, and I DID NOT.

I did, once fucking again, something I did NOT want to do, FOR THEM, and AGAIN, it blows up in my FUCKING FACE. The kicker is, my brother tells me that they always ask about me, they hate this not talking stuff, and they have even cried over it....WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE PEOPLE? When I interact with them, they are NOTHING like that!

Okay, I'm angry. Like, really fucking angry....

Give me a moment to scream and swear like crazy:

Assholes. Fucking sons of bitches. Piece of shit pitiless, holier than thou indignant, self righteous fucking PRICKS! Fucking piece of shit asshole motherfucking dickface CUNTS!

FUCK!

As an aside, what a pretty fucking face! Damn.

Anyways, that night wasn't a total bust. We got Hannah home and did a nice gift opening thing with the three of us, and she LOVED it. At one point, we brought her a pile of three gifts, stacked smallest to largest. She pushed the two small ones off of the big one and starting tearing into that. Lmao. I then went to my brothers' place and had a great time laughing, playing NHL 10 and forgetting the whole ordeal.

The next day (xmas day) was also just fine. Hannah opened some more gifts in the morning and then we went for dinner with my wife's family that night. I played some NHL 08 online with the C man, then went to my brothers' and partied with him and an old friend who was in town for the holidays.

So all in all, my holidays ended up being okay...as long as I ignore the FUCKING FIASCO at my grandparents house on xmas eve. Now, the question remains: what the FUCK do I do next year? Or any other year going forward? Do I go? Not go? WTF do I do?

This is what you fucking get for trying to fucking appease people when said fucking appeasement goes against every fucking fibre of your fucking being. The lesson here is apparently don't do shit for anyone but yourself, because everytime you try to do so you get fucking burned.

FUCK.