Friday, October 14, 2011

Work to Live, or Live to Work

A story I read on a message board (of course this is either embellished or straight up b.s., but I like the message):

An American tourist was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The tourist complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The tourist then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The tourist then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The tourist scoffed, " I can help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you could run your ever-expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

The tourist replied, "15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the Mexican.

The tourist laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gaming Conventions That Need to Go! Pt. 3

1) Hey, you made it!! It's been 12 hours, you finally get to fight the boss that has been eluding and tormenting you the whole time (likely after killing or kidnapping someone close to you). This should be AWESOME! You have all those fancy skills now..............oh wait. No no no. The boss is impervious to all but one of your attacks. Figure out which one it is and then spam it for 2 minutes to win. GOOD LUCK!

2) That mysterious voice that tells you where to go/what to do.......I don't see a headset or earpiece anywhere on my character....so how the hell am I hearing you exactly?

3) Unskippable dialogue. Man, when a game has bad dialogue, or you have already played through it and just want to get to the game, not being able to skip lengthy dialogue sucks, especailly if it's text and it displays slowly. Really bad when you die and reolad and have to sit through it all again.

4) Unskippable cutscenes. Same concept as unskippable dialogue. They suck when you just don't care about the story, or if you have seen it already and just want to get to the game. This, just like with the unskippable dialogue, is especially bad when you die and relad and have to sit through it all again.

5) AI temmates in shooters being able to do things I cannot; this even happens when I am supposed to be the leader of the sqaud and they are my subordinates. An example of what I mean is in some games , the AI can take cover, but the player cannot. This makes no sense, unless there's an explanation for it in the story....which there never is.

6) Escort missions. Enough said.

7) Timed missions. See above.

The End

Thanks for reading part 3 of this series.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Nostalgia: 80's and 90's Fads

Remember these 80's/90's fads? Oh, the nostalgia!

Beanie Babies


Hackey Sacks/Footbags


Helicopter Hats and Denim Shorts on Guys


Jolt Cola



Mullets!


Parachute Pants (remember the sound these made when you walked?)


Payphones


Rolled Up Jeans


Pogo Disc Ball....Things


POGS!!



Pop Rocks (remember the myth about exploding stomachs?)

Pump Up Sneakers


The Jheri Curl!


Warheads

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Crysis Console (Xbox 360) Screenshots

Here are a few screens from the console (xbox 360) (game is also available on the Playstation 3) version of Crysis:





Thursday, September 29, 2011

Worst Video Game Sequels Of All Time

Worst Video Game Sequels Of All Time

There's nothing quite like the anticipation for a sequel to a truly remarkable game. Likewise, there's nothing quite like the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that occurs when one realizes that said sequel fucking sucks. This has happened to all gamers at some point in their gaming life, and to most of us, it has happened on multiple occasions over the years. The incidence rates of this horrific plague have likely decreased, and significantly at that, due to the rise to prominence of the internet and the boom of the video game journalism trade. Now, we're inundated with previews, footage, interviews, demos, and reviews, so it's a lot harder to get bitch slapped with a shit sequel. Not that it doesn't happen. Somehow, despite all of it, it's still possible to get rooked. Science knows I have, several times over.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Art By Keeks

Art By Keeks

My friend Kiana is a (starving) artist who is starting to sell some of her work to make a little bit of much needed coin. Here are pics of two of her paintings:



Tuesday, September 20, 2011

More Nostalgia:80's Radio Shack Ads