Corny Pun Pwnage

On the lighter side.....

Austin Powers would be proud....

What? I don't know, don't ask.

Vatican Priest: Sex With a Condom is like a Mugger Wrapping the Pipe he uses to Beat People in Foam

So, Pope Ratface recently made a comment on condom use that has gotten the world a talkin'. Here is said comment:

There may be a basis in the case of some individuals, as perhaps when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first step in the direction of a moralization, a first assumption of responsibility...

Happy Thanksgiving, America, You Fat Fucks!

Happy Thanksgiving, America, You Fat Fucks!

My daughter asked me* what Thanksgiving was all about. I considered a lie, but then remembered that as an atheist, I don't have any made up tales that I am culturally pressured into telling her, so I get to be honest. So, I told her the truth, that Thanksgiving is a day for a bunch of overfed, overprivileged people to celebrate how fat and overpriveleged they are by eating too much food.

I left out the 'stealing land from the indians' thing. I need something to tell her next year, don't I?

*The conversation detailed in this blog post may not have actually happened.

The Gift- A Short Novel (First Draft) (Longest Blog Post In the World?)

This is the first short novel (novella) I wrote for the 3 Day Novel Contest three years ago. It was my first time entering, and I was successful in that I was able to actually complete a manuscript and submit it in by the deadline. Three days of nonstop writing produced the following book. 92 pages, 26k words. It's a sad story, and it's rough around the edges, of course. Enjoy what may be the longest blog post in the world, the first (and most likely last) draft of the very first short novel (novella) I ever wrote, written in three days for a contest, and dealing with subject matter that is very personal to me, The Gift. 

(By the way, Hunter's Bluff was the novel I did the next year. I'm really proud of that one, as you can tell if you follow the link.) 

The Gift

The Insanity of Swearing

The Insanity of Swearing

I would like to discuss swearing/cursing/the use of expletives, so listen up, you friggin pieces of crap.

...Did I just swear at you?

Well, did I?

Sister Wives: What's the Big Fucking Deal? I Issue a Challenge to those against polygamy:

Sister Wives: What's the Big Fucking Deal?

So there's this show on TLC called Sister Wives, which I was not aware of until about 10 minutes ago. For those who do not know, it is a 'reality' show documenting/fictionalizing (you know how 'reality' shows go....) the lives of 5 adults and 13 children. The 5 adults are a man named Kody, and his four wives, and the thirteen children are, well, their children.

Yes, the show is about polygamists. How this is possible when polygamy is illegal in the U.S., I don't know, but it's happening (happened?) (not sure if it's still on or not). The guy is married to four women and the four marriages have thus far produced 13 children.

Warrant Out for God's Arrest

Warrant Out for God's Arrest

AP, Heaven

A judge issued a warrant Friday for the arrest of one, God, a 6,000 year old (or so) male after he failed to appear in an L.A. courtroom. God had been subpoenaed to appear in court to testify in a domestic abuse case in which his son, Jesus Christ, also 6,000 years old (we're not sure how that happened either) was on trial for striking one of his apparently numerous (sources say 12) lovers.