It's That Time of the Year Again!

Happy "You should be ashamed of yourself if you don't do something special for your father, now go out to an expensive restaurant and buy him a God damn gift or you are a horrible fucking child" Day everyone!

BREAKING NEWS: Two porn actors arrested for prostitution after their camera breaks.

-Two pornographic actors, Nathan, 24, and Miranda, 22, were arrested Friday on prostitution charges. The two had been filming a scene for an upcoming porn movie when their camera broke. The two actors stopped the scene when they noticed that the camera had stopped functioning, but unfortunately for them, they did not notice until a few minutes after it broke. As we all know, having sex for money is considered prostitution (or marriage), unless a (functioning and recording) camera is present, at which time it can be considered pornography. Since the two were not married and no functional camera was present and recording, they were technically engaged in prostitution.

Police chief Ian Mooreville responded to criticism levied by the public in the wake of this story breaking: "The two suspects were having sex on film for profit. That is not illegal. That is pornography. However, when the camera stopped functioning and they continued to have sex for money, it became prostitution, and public safety became an issue." When he was asked to expand on how public safety was endangered by the failure of the camera present at the scene, the officer declined comment. He did, however, add that "backup cameras should be available, but if they are not, and your only camera breaks, you better be prepared to stop mid thrust....otherwise, we'll come for you."

An Evening With Ray Bradbury

With the recent death of Ray Bradbury, I found this video of Ray Bradbury giving a keynote speech, and it is an amazing way to spend an hour. It's a very inspirational, honest, and entertaining speech. Much of what he said will stay in my head for a long time, he was quite a brilliant man. Give it a listen to at night while you're lying in bed, very motivational.

Ninja Gaiden (Arcade), II (NES) and III (NES) Heading to the 3DS?

Possibly fantastic news for old school Ninja Gaiden fans: Ninja Gaiden (arcade), Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (NES) and Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom (NES) appear to be heading to the 3DS via the virtual console feature.

http://www.esrb.org/ratings/search.jsp?title=ninja+gaiden&fromHome=fromHome

That is, if you believe the listings for said games on the ESRB's website (linked above; screenshot below). I do, as news pertaining to the addition of other games heading to digital distribution channels like Xbox Live Arcade and Nintendo's Virtual Console have been leaked via ESRB listings in the past.

Please, please let this be true! If it is, that means there will be FOUR Ninja Gaiden titles on the 3DS (there's (apparently...unless it has been cancelled) an original Ninja Gaiden title in development for the little handheld that could). FOUR!

If this is indeed true, will you be purchasing any of these? I know for sure I will buy Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (one of my all time favourite games). Ninja Gaiden arcade is a probable, but not certain buy. Depends upon the price. I'm not a big fan of it but it's decent. I'll probably skip Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom, as I don't really like that entry in the series.

P.S. As of now, the first NES Ninja Gaiden title (simply titled Ninja Gaiden) is not listed for the 3DS. I don't know why, and I hope that changes, because it's an excellent game, and even though I own it on the NES and the Wii I will still purchase it for the 3DS. It's not as good as the sequel that was released a year later on the NES, but it's a very good game in its own right.

2 Castlevania Titles Confirmed! Lords of Shadow 2 and Lords of Shadow- Mirror of Fate

As reported by Nintendo Power Magazine, 2 new Castlevania games have been confirmed to exist. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow- Mirror of Fate is a 3DS exclusive that bridges LOS1 and the also confirmed (but platforms TBA, although obviously PS3 and 360) sequel, Lords of Shadow 2.

Some info on the 3DS game:

- deep combat mechanics
- involves Trevor Belmont
- Fight with Trevor's version of the Combat Cross
- strong attacks with X
- wider-reaching attacks with Y
- secondary weapons like the boomerang-like glaive and electric bomb
- use these with A
- grab enemies with R
- block and dodge with L
- involves light and shadow magic returns
- earn experience points to unlock new combos
- these include launching foes into the air, smashing enemies down to the ground and more
- includes skeletons, axe-wielding undead and more
Here are two screenshots from the 3DS game (not final quality, obviously):

Dead or Alive 5 Premium Demo: Quick Thoughts

I finally got my hand on the DOA 5 demo and I have to say, I am IMPRESSED. I really wish the Ninja Gaiden team had been able to expand on the formula while maintaining the integrity of the series/game play in the way that the DOA team has. I mean, sure, the counter system was nerfed to a degree, and I know the power moves have left the community divided, but I think that for non tournament players, the game will prove to be a success. It is VERY fun, runs smoothly, looks good, and seems to have once again hit the balance between playability and depth in such a way that I believe no other series has.

I know many will disagree, and that is completely understandable, but I for one have always thought DOA was the best of the 3D fighting games and DOA5 seems like it is going to continue that trend for me.

If you are a fan of DOA and you are worried that this one has been screwed up, especially given the travesty that is Ninja Gaiden 3, rest assured that the DOA you know and love seems to be intact.

Message Board Full of Extreme Bigots

Today I discovered this vile, disgusting message board. The shit that is being spewed in this forum topic is horrendous. It has been a long while since I got this disturbed and angry after reading internet comments.

Many of these people apparently think that Fox News is "too liberal." When someone thinks Fox News is too liberal, that is a distressing sign. I don't watch Fox News, and I didn't really know who Shepard Smith was before this, but this stuff is vomit-inducing.