I had a One Night Stand.

This blog is regarding my night last night. I am quite tired atm, in pain, and not feeling all that concerned with form, so I'm just sort of blahing on the page, so forgive any grammatical or other sorts of mistakes, and forgive the lackadaisical (is that even a word?) writing style......


Okay, on to my night!!

Allow me to set the scene:

A nice, long, romantic walk?

Check.

Romanitc dinner, featuring:

Candles?

Check.

Wine?

Check.

Great food?

Check.

Okay, so far so good. So, we head to the living room, start a fire, get comfortable, and then he tells me, dude.....I'm going to let you play with it tonight.

''For real and for true?'' I ask, my lower lip quivering ever so slightly, signaling the physcial manifestation of the desire burning deep inside me.

''Yes, for real and for true.''

And so, having said that, I leaned over, looked him deep in the eyes, and said ''Okay, turn it on for me.'' I then grabbed the sleek, beautiful controller on the little table next to him, faced the tv, and watched that PS3 logo hit the screen.

It was game time.

It was PS3 time.

It had been far too long (a month or so).

The following is the tale of this Wii60 gamer's one night stand with a Sony Playstation 3. All names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Okay, so I'm settled in, I have my hands wrapped around that sleep PS3 controller (seriously, wtf is with those triggers though......yikes. They always bug me) and the only question left is, what to play?

Heavy Rain demo, duh.

*boots up heavy rain demo*

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awes-

What the fuck? R2 to walk?

Huh?

Um.....k......what?

....

Okay, let's just keep playing.......

Okay, walking along, nice fucking visuals btw, walking along......okay, wtf? I have to hold down 3 buttons to shimmy behind a dumpster? Is this somehow more immersive? I don't get it......Oi, alright, fine....let's keep playing....

Walking, entering building, paying off office....person......talking to weird looking hooker...don't like how thoughts are floating around my head, kinda dumb, but I guess I understand why....okay, anyways......more talking.....starting to feel for her......commecting to characters.....intrigued, feel sad for woman, leaving, asthma, bad looking dude, definitely trouble, back to room, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!!!......leaving, getting in car, oh cool, another scene, talking, walking, whoa, cool technology, few clues, talking, talking, huh, intrigued, okay, ah fuck, it's over :(

Okay, couple of design choices that leave me perplexed, but all in all, quite the unique experience. I'm intruiged. Wish I had the full game to play. Can't wait to borrow PS3 down the road, this will be the first game I play through.

Okay, next game.

Hmm, let's check the demo store, my friend suggests.

OH MY FUCKING SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


GOD OF WAR 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend is very excited, downloads demo. I must now hand over controller....*sigh*

Friend plays demo twice, laughing like a schoolgirl all the way through. I must admit that it was pretty fucking impressive, even though, yet again, the combat is lacking, but I don't say this, let him have his moment.

I get the controller back, and alright, fuck it, might as well try GOW3, eevn though I'm not a fan.

Start playing, okay ya, doing this, doing that, blah blah blah. Meh, quit halfway through to a chorus of taunts from my GOW fanboy friend, who accuses me of being crazy.

Now we're playfully arguing about Bayonetta pwns GOW, no way nuh uh GOW pwns Bayonetta, blah blah.

Friend goes to bed.

I debate on what to play, swearing to myself that I am goign to stay away from Ninja Gaiden Sigma, because last time I had the PS3 to myself, I played Ninja Gaiden Sigma for 5 hours and didn't even get to play any of the other games I still haven't got to play, like Resistance.

And I'm playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma.......

*sigh*

But it's so awesome.....yes but you have all of the ninja gaiden's, it's still the same game, play somehting original.....ya but, no but, ya but.....ah shut up

*keeps playing, huge smile on face*

And I'm off to bed.

*goes to bed*

End of One Night Stand

Okay, so allow me to give a half assed ''review'' if you will of each demo. Keep in mind, I say review very lightly. I'm not putting on my review hat for these. Just a quick paragraph or two, and totaly informal ones at that.

Heavy Rain

So, despite some cumbersome and clunky controls (and a really fucking curious decision to have a walk button), the iffy floating/circular thoughts, and a few moments of weak dialogue and voice acting (which for the most part are both strong) Heavy Rain ended up being pretty damn awesome. I'm really looking forward to experiencing the full thing. I won't be able to for a few months, however, so I must avoid spoilers at all costs, so no Heavy Rain message board.

I rate the Heavy Rain demo a very solid 7.5/10. It was a decent length, definitely left me wanting more, and the game is solid, but the few few issues I mentioned really detracted from the experience for me.

Keep in mind, however, that in my scale, a 7.5 is pretty damn good.

God of War 3

God of War 3 is quite the experience......to watch. I actually really enjoyed watching my friend play it (despite the fact that he's a button masher, even by GOW standards). Sick ass enemy designs, nice graphics, awesome backgrounds/landscapes, visceral as hell finishers, sweet music....OH! and did I say awesome enemy designs? Seriously, when that Minotaur appeared, even this jaded motherfucker named magx let out an ''OH COOL!!!!'' (And then watched my friend get pwnd by it......*Sigh*).

Anyways, yes, GOW3 seems to excell in all of the areas the other ones do: the presentation, design, intensity, etc. But the combat, and I'm sorry GOW fans, I'm not saying it's terrible, but to me, it's lackluster. It looks good, but it's really quite lacking by my standards, and frankly, for the standards of the genre. The entire system needs to be reworked, and that actually reminds me, they didn't seem to have expanded it very much for this game, but it is a demo, so I won't make a final proclamation on that point.

I also guess in a way that it makes sense for what they are trying to convey. I suppose that Kratos zooming around the screen like Ryu or Bayonetta wouldn't make much sense, but they still could add some combo variety, give him more leeway in terms of cancelling stun properties and animations (like the roll), add a few extra luanchers and aerial moves to add some more emphasis on, and variety to, aerial combat (which my friend never once even used...wtf) and tighten up the evasive manouver (new button map, scrap the current animation in favour of a new, faster one. The AI also needs some work.

But that's just me.

I rate the GOW3 demo a 5.5/10 to play, and a 9/10 to watch. That shit was really fun to watch. I might just watch him play the full game when it releases lol.

Oh, and the ending......hehehehe. I had a feeling they'd hold back on the bosss fight, and they did. My friend got so excited when he saw Kratos come flying out of that ventilation shaft and zone in on that (awesome looking btw) bosses head....and when the demo suddenly ended his face was absolutely pricelss. I think he stared at the screen in silence for a full minute, with his mouth agape and a faraway look in his eyes......hehehehehe.

Oh, and of course, I rate my time with Ninja Gaiden Sigma an 11/10.

Oh, shit, almost forgot. In the morning (I crashed at his place) we downloaded the Yakuza 3 demo, and I got my first taste of Yakuza. Suffice it to say, I hope somebody makes a proper 3D beat em up one day.......

I rate Yakuza an underwhelming and clunky combat/10.

Is it so hard to do good combat in a 3D beat em up, people? I mean, come on, they can't just copy the formula of something like Dynamite Cop or God Hand?

If not, then shut up and make 2D ones, damn it.

Ciao....for now......

New Way to Access The Thoughtful Gamer!

This blog can now be reached via the url http://www.thethoughtfulgamer.com/ which means there are now two direct routes to soul corrupting atheism and morality destroying video games :)

Just thought I'd let you know :)

9/11 Controlled Demolition Conspiracy Theory Debunked

You think it was a U.S. government conspiracy that perpetrated 9/11?

Think the WTC buildings were brought down via controlled demolition?

Well, they weren't.

Here's a few points I'd like you to consider. This isn't entirely comprehensive of course, but I'm not doing all of your research for you.

1) Where was the evidence of the controlled demolition afer the fact? There is always evidence of the explosive devices on the scene after a controlled demo. Yet, no such evidence was ever seen. Wonder why?

2) When do you propose they went into the buildings and planted all of those bombs, and how is that that no one noticed anything either during, or anytime after this operation?

The world trade center tower walls would have had to have been opened on dozens of floors, followed by the insertion of thousands of pounds of explosives, fuses, and ignition mechanisms, all sneaked past the security stations, inside hundreds of feet of walls, on all four sides of the building. Then the walls would have to be closed up.

This all taking place without attracting the notice of any of the thousands of tenants and workers in either building?

Really?

And again, say that somehow happened, where was the evidence on the scene?

3) People point to the beams with diagonal cuts as evidence of thermite usage.

Well, the beams were cut.....During the clean up:





4) The towers were designed to withstand impact with a jet.

The towers did withstand the impact.

They were brought down by a combination of the damage sustained during impact, and the fires, both of which resulted in enough structural instability to bring the buildings down.

5) But it looks like a controlled demolition!!!

Turn your sound on, and then watch this 30 second video:



People will compare video of a controlled demo and video of the WTC buildings falling once they start to fall. Well, look at them before that point. When a controlled demolition takes place, the charges are extremely loud and follow each other in sequence. THEN the building falls.

Look at that video. The charges go off for 10 seconds before the building starts to collapse. This was not heard or described by anyone on 9/11, nor during the collapse of Seven World Trade. It is not in any videos or heard by any witnesses.

It was not a controlled demolition.

6) Still somehow think it was? Really?

Explain this:

Why did the collapse of buildings 1 and 2 start from the top of the buldings, where the planes hit??

Controlled demo collapses start from the bottom. Not the top.

There was no controlled demolition, and there was no U.S. government conspiracy.

My Drunk Baby

Top Ten Arguments "Against" Gay Marriage

The top ten reasons why gay people should not be allowed to get married. No way, no how. Nuh uh! No gay marriage!!


This is a VERY important topic, so I might get a little HEATED in this one.

This is an adaptation. I hope I put a decent spin on things.

BTW, I'm being incredibly sarcastic here. I'm 10000000% for gay marriage.

Newsflash for Creationists!!!

Zombie Apocalypse XBLA Review

Bring the Apocalypse, or Get Feasted On.

In Zombie Apocalypse, you have two choices. Either expend incredible amounts of ammunition bringing the Apocalypse to a bunch of brain hungry zombies, or just give up and be eaten. Not sure which option to take? Well, then this review is for you. This won't be a terribly lengthy review, as the game is quite simple. It's an arcade style twin stick shooter, in the vein of classics like Robotron and SMASH TV (both of which are also available on the Xbox Live Arcade).

Remember this?

Now there's this:

This game follows the same basic pattern. You pick one of four characters:

and then you start out in an area, blast away everything in sight, then move on to the next area when you clear the one you're currently in. There are 7 different environments, and you move from one to the other and back again over the course of 50 days (each level is a different day). And of course, like the games of old, you work to increase your score, which goes up higher and higher via a multiplier. You earn 1 to your multiplier for every 5 zombies you kill. You do this until you survive the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

So, you do this, along the way picking up various weapons, which include a shotgun, dual SMG, rifle, molotov cocktails, flamethrower, grenade launcher, and rocket launcher. Your default weapons are an assault rifle and a chainsaw, which you can use in two ways. Normal, and execution. Executions add 3 to your multiplier for each one you do, so they are very useful, but they also leave you open for attack for a second after you do one, so you must use them wisely. When the shotgun toting sheriff zombies (yes, seriously) show up, you don't want to be stuck doing an execution when one of them is nearby, you'll be open to a shotgun blast.

Speaking of shotgun toting sheriff zombies, these are the enemy types to be found in the game (weapon or attributes in brackets):

Dodge Zombie (side-stepper)
Shambler (regular zombie)
Big Boy (construction worker, can't break)
Granny (knives)
Nurse
Queen (flying)
Puker (puke piles, slows you down)
Dynamite Guy (blows you up)
Infected Human (not attracted to bait)

That last one refers to two things I have not, as of yet, mentioned. There are survivors that randomly appear, and if you protect them for a short period of time, and they get picked up by helicopter, you get a score bonus. If they get attacked, they turn and then attack you. The bait mentioned is a talking C4 filled teddy bear (again, seriously) which you can throw to get the horde off of your back, and then watch as they gather around the lovable teddy bear.....and then BOOM, they explode into a pile of bloody gore. Well, this works on everything except the newly turned zombies.

Splat!

The game starts out with one mode, and then you can unlock some new ones through normal play. They are as follows:

Turbo (faster)
All Weaons (you carry infinite versions of every weapon, which you can cycle through with the dpad)
Blackout (limited light)
Hardcore (start with one life)
Chainsaw Only (self explanatory)
7 Days of Hell (a long and very difficult mode)

As for the difficulty, it starts out easy and then ramps up, gettting quite difficult later on, although this is offset by infinite continues, which you can use if desired. Any score earned after continuing does not get posted to the leaderboards. You start with 4 lives, and you earn more as you gain score.

There is 4 player co-op, both online and off, in addition to the aforementioned leaderboards. The game is really fun, especially at first, but it's not perfect. So, a few downsides to the game:

1) Only 2 bosses, and it's really the same one twice

2) It gets repetitive, seeing as how it's a fairly shallow arcade game.

3) At $10, I don't think it's overpriced per se, but at $5 it would have been a sure bet for more people.

4) There isn't a huge community for this, at least on the xbox 360 version (I can't speak for the PS3 version). It's been out a few days, and the most people I have seen online at once is maybe 40.

Overall, this is a good looking, fun, modernized take on an old arcade standby, the top down shooter. Very fun, especially with friends, and it has a decent amount if unlockables, which is refreshing. It can also get stale fairly quickly. If you're a high score junkie, then you'll find more replayability out of it. The price is fair enough, and it really is fun. For the price of a movie ticket, you'll get two (or more) times the amount of hours of enjoyment. So, despite the inherently repetitive and shallow nature of the game, it's definitely a recommended buy for arcade shooter and zombie fans.

Final Score: 8/10.