Fun Experiment: Take an Atheist. Get Him High. Place Atheist Inside Church.

Wow, I thought, bracing myself against the freezing cold wind as I exited the car, I'm really doing this. I'm going to church. Church. I walked in to the same Catholic church that I attended (on a very infrequent basis) as a youth (but never before with the ol mj in the system) and as I passed from the hall to the main part of the church itself, skipping the 'holy' water anointing station and hoping I didn't look like an extra on the set of Half Baked I entered what felt like an entirely new dimension- a sense of deja-vu mixed with a rather strong feeling of I don't belong here and they will know it immediately. I mean, for one thing, the place was packed and so trying my hardest to not feel completely out of place standing in front of what looked like 200 people, all of whom I was certain were all thinking the same thing (*hiss* an interloper *hiss*).

....And then there's the fact that I was stoned. Not exactly the most comfortable place to be when you're high but man did it amplify the experience. I'll get to that in a bit though. My cohorts and I took a seat. I hadn't sat in one of those seats for years, and it was a church of all places, but I did experience a small sense of a faint whiff of welcoming. My ass recoiled and sighed with familiarity at the same time, but I digress.

We were a few minutes early so I took the time to look around and take in the scene. Like most catholic churches, the place is a strange mix of welcoming and foreboding. The architectural design is aesthetically pleasing and it's clear that the workmanship was solid and finely detailed, but I cannot deny the fact that it did strike me as also being intentionally designed in such a grandiose fashion that it ventured beyond "look how grand this is" to perhaps a small (and possibly imagined on my part, sure) hint of "and look how small you are." It could be simple cynicism on my part, but as you will soon read, the mass itself also seemed to be designed with the intention of engendering in those in attendance a sense of less than. There certainly was a lot of prostrating oneself involved in the actual mass itself.

HILARIOUS!!!! Bill Burr promotes Shari's Berries

The World Would Be a Better Place If We All Studied Psychology

I'll (briefly, for both your sake and mine) present my case and you then tell me if I'm deluded or onto something here (it can't be anything else; I like my thinking black and white, like a coffee made by a supernatural barista):

Psychology as an academic discipline deals with many things. A few of those things are pertinent to this discussion, the first of which is introspection, the art of internal investigation. A process through which we examine our own minds and come to learn about and then manage, if we so choose, our reactions, emotions, thought processes, and even, ideally, our biases and our pride. Our ego. I could spend hours talking about how terrible a role the ego plays in this world on a daily basis, but I digress so let's move on.

Psychology deals with interpersonal relations. How we deal with others and why we do so. How we relate to them- and they to us.

So basically you study psych and you learn about us, humans, and yourself, both as standalone entities and in relation to others. Well, it seems like a good time to ask what it is in life exactly that these things are made relevant by? Hmmm....emotions, biases, thought processes, pride, relations with others....oh ya, how about damn near everything? Relationships with family and friends, dealing with people at school. People at work. Dealing with loss, success, competition, grief. How we handle and react to day to day life. How we assess the, as we see them, motives and desires of others? Hell, how about diplomacy?! And I don't mean as a mediator in a divorce. I mean foreign f'n policy!

All of the above is heavily related to the psychology of humans and their understanding of both themselves and one another. Yet almost none of us receive education in the field of study that deals with this- psychology. I only got the opportunity to do so in university. Now imagine if everyone on Earth that received a primary education studied psychology as part of their curriculum? Ah.....better relations, better understanding of ourselves and one another.....better everything. A better world.

Call me crazy but I really am concluding that I think if we studied psychology throughout our formative years we would be more adjusted and in control of our emotions, our thoughts....our minds. Ourselves. And if this were the case, then it would naturally follow that things made up of people, like say corporations, or even *gasp* governments, might function at a higher level than they do now, with a net effect of more positivity in this world, and consequently, less of the opposite.

On The Contrary - Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Throughout my life, I have been a gaming connoisseur of every genre and platform. I've loved countless games and franchises, and hated countless more. A fact that I find rather amusing is that, more often than not, my preferences and favorites in the gaming industry are very different than most other people. I thought Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure was a rather great game, I've never liked the Final Fantasy series, I am the biggest fan of Mirror's Edge, and I think Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is a piece of garbage. Those are just a few of the things that set me apart from the general consensus

But one recent series has raised my ire for far too long, a current-gen game long heralded as the best on its console and even one of the best video games ever. I would be remiss to allow my viewpoint, no matter how objectionable it may be to others, to go unspoken. There are many people who attest to the quality of this game, and yet I find myself with an opinion contrary to the overwhelming majority, as I usually do. To put it simply...

I fucking hate Uncharted 2. I hate it so fucking much. The first Uncharted game is just run-of-the-fucking-mill, yet the sequel is the same shit but it gets accolades up the ass! Fuck this game!!!

Ok ok, I promised myself I would dispense with my usual vulgarity, and attempt to discuss this somewhat
sensitive topic in an intellectual manner.

Honestly....How Can Anyone TRULY Believe in a Soul?

There are 2 obvious things that basically discredit the idea of a soul (and, by extension, an afterlife), and I do not see how thinking people can say they honestly believe in a soul.

1) Eyes. If souls can look down on us from heaven. that means they can see. So why do we have eyes? Isn't that rather redundant? And why is it that blind people are blind? They should still be able to see, even if their eyes do not function, since our souls can see. The existence of eyes and damage to the eyes resulting in blindness or at least some degree of vision impairment is said by most people to be because the eyes are quite simply the only mechanism through which we humans can take in visual stimuli which our brains can then process. Pit that against the idea that there is a soul and things like vision and consciousness (see the next point) are received by the brain rather than generated by it and apply Occam's Razor. I think it is pretty clear which of the two ideas is wishful thinking/nonsense.

2) The brain. Our souls are supposed to be us. Who we are. Our personality, our identity.......yet, changes in brain function alter our personality. It can change "who we are." Brain damage can make someone forever unrecognisable to even their families. How could this be? Some people, in response to this query, will posit the "transistor radio" hypothesis of consciousness, which, for those who do not know, is the idea that the brain acts as a receiver of consciousness rather than the catalyst for it. So according to this conception of consciousness, brain damage would alter behaviour not because the structures and electrochemical activity of the brain is responsible for said behaviour but rather due to the fact that the brain acts as a receiver for consciousness signals, and if a radio is damages the signal reception will be altered.

The problem with this idea, other than the fact that it is clearly just a way to rationalize away the evidence that runs contrary to the idea of a soul is that it doesn't explain things like dissociative identity disorder.

Fuck Winter

Vegetables Killed James Gandolfini

On June 19th, 2013 Tony Soprano James Gandolfini died suddenly while on Vacation in Rome, Italy. The 51 year old actor and notoriously heavy breather had dined on a (presumably) gigantic meal earlier in the evening before retiring to his room for the night eternity. The autopsy confirmed the suspicions of basically everyone either involved in the story or aware of it; the actor/heavy breather had died of a heart attack. This conclusion has not been challenged by anyone and it has therefore never been investigated further. One could assume that this is due to the fact that there were no pieces of evidence at the scene to suggest an alternative cause of death. There were no signs of forced entry or reported disturbances (like arguing or fighting) emanating from his room that night, although four people on various floors both above and below him did call the concierge to report the sounds of laboured breathing coming from a room somewhere in the hotel (they knew which room it was but they also knew who was in there and knew better than to name names. Nobody rats on T. Nobody). The toxicology report came back negative. There was no blood, no wounds (defensive or otherwise). Open and shut case, right?

Eh, maybe.....or maybe not.

See, I have come across some rather disturbing evidence that his death, while it was in fact a heart attack, was actually the result of an absolute unwillingness, on his part, to eat vegetables, and this cause was actually known to the coroner and others involved in caring for Mr. Gandolfini but the truth of the matter has been suppressed by pasta and meatballs industry. Lobbyists from the industry descended upon Rome immediately upon the news of his death going public; the goal of this was of course to put pressure on those involved in the investigation to ensure that no mention of pasta, meatballs or vegetables (the presence of the former and regarding the latter, a lack thereof) was made in either any official reports or any press conferences or interviews.

I cannot reveal how I cam across this disturbing information but suffice it to say the fact that vegetables tasted less like pasta and meatballs and more like, well, vegetables, was the cause of death and this fact was forcibly kept from the public due to the presence of and pressure by the pasta and meatballs lobby.

Those bastards.

MMA Weekend Roundup (Just a Few Thoughts)

UFC

Guillard vs Pearson no contest controversy:  I think it was the right call as it was the second knee that opened that cut, but that fucking downed opponent rule is a) fucking stupid and b) obviously being exploited by fighters. Use your hand to block the knee, not touch the ground and try and be saved by some arbitrary bullshit rule. That rule really needs to go. You could tell Rogan was trying very hard to watch what he said while still getting the point across. On his podcast he's been much more open about it (he fuckin hates it). I don't even get what the rationale is. Kneeing someone in the head is okay when they are crouched or standing but when they are on the ground it's not okay because.......? What, it "just looks brutal?" What actual EFFECT does it have.....oh ya, the SAME as it does anywhere else. Just let them fucking fight, fuck. Guillard got robbed of a win because of this shit. I just hope this doesn't take the wind out of his sails, cause we all know he's been spotty but you could tell he was on yesterday. He wanted to win that fight and clearly trained hard. Only for a no contest? Fuck.

Machida: Looked great at 185lbs. I hope this weight class becomes his new home. Of course, we don't know if the weight cut depleted his reserves or not as the fight didn't even enter the second round, so there's always the possibility that a guy like Weidman could wear him out ("take him into deep waters and drown him" as so many fighters are fond of saying) but for now I am impressed. I was so scared he was going to lose and was ecstatic when he won. I would love to see him and Silva fight at some point. Wow that would be a dream. War Machida!

Bellator

Have you heard the news, people? I'm assuming you have but if you haven't for w/e reason, the PPV is off. 106 is now a free card on Spike. Why, you ask? Tito is injured. lol What else is new. I'm going to take what they have said as the truth but I wouldn't be terribly surprised if there was some fuckery afoot. Bellator PR fuckery from the get go or some fuckery from the Ortiz camp....I dunno. Nice message to send the rest of the guys on that card though. You ain't sellin shit, mofuckas. We need washed up ex UFC vets to sell shit. Nice....Btw, that card is absolutely fucking stacked. Bellator 106 might be the best card this year.  STACKED. I cannot wait. The casual mma fan that may (and I mean may) have purchased the PPV to see Ortiz vs Jackson would have been treated some potentially insane fights before witnessing whatever shit show the two washed up UFC veterans would have put on. My only hope is they somehow tune in to the card on Spike because the guys still on that card deserve the viewership. 

Add Tiger Sarnavskiy to the list of those Russian fighters who are really impressing me as of late. Both in Bellator and the UFC. I'm excited to see what they can do in 2014.

Desmond Green vs Angelo Sanchez: Um....that was hard to watch. The cut sustained by Sanchez was easily the nastiest I have ever seen and I never want to see something like that again. If you want to see, and I don't blame you for the curiosity but be forewarned.....it's horrible, here you go:

See the doctor opening it up at the end there? He did it multiple times and each time I was like NO STOP PLEASE. He just kept.fucking.doing.it. I literally had to look away and keep looking away until it was over. Even Jimmy Smith said on air "I really wish that doctor would stop opening and closing that thing."

GROSS. 

WSOF 6

Haven't seen it (yet). I did however, have the Miguel Torres fight spoiled for me, since I never learn my lesson and still visit mma sites the day after events I have not seen. I need to stop doing that!

Response to Psychology Today Article About "Fat Shaming"

In a Psychology Today article entitled The #1 Worst Thing to Say to Your Fat Friend the author, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D discusses an article written by another writer, a woman named Natalie Kusz. Ms. Kusz is an overweight woman writing about "fat shaming" and in her article she talks about instances of shaming enacted upon her by strangers and she contends that, while they are certainly hurtful, the moments during which she feels the most shamed is "the well-intentioned disapproval of a friend--the one who leans a narrow hand on your arm and murmurs, “I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I love you and I'm concerned about your weight." Both authors contend that this friend is acting in a harmful, rather than beneficial manner when they make such statements to their overweight friends (I wonder if they would feel this way if it was gambling/alcohol, etc rather than obesity being discussed).

Well, I strongly disagree with the contention made by both of these authors and what follows is the comment I submitted for publication on the site.

Basic Ninja Gaiden Tips

I LOVE Ninja Gaiden. LOVE IT. Any regular reader of mine is already acutely aware of this, and probably sick of hearing about the franchise on this blog. Well, those people can roll their eyes all they want but it's my blog and I will mention Ninja Gaiden as many times as I want. I am independent, defiant and need no audience.

Wait, come back!

Okay, okay, I won't mention Ninja Gaiden for a while after this, I promise.

So, for anyone who may be new to Ninja Gaiden and are finding themselves assaulted by insanity and wondering how the hell they are ever supposed to excel at the game, I have for you a few basic tips that you should be aware of. Just remember, this is Ninja Gaiden, not Devil May Cry, Bayonetta, Onimusha, God of War, etc. It is its own beast so be cognizant of that fact and treat it as such (not bashing any of those, btw.  love some of them, like others, blah blah. Ninja Gaiden is just in a league of its own in terms of both mechanics and difficulty).

The tips:

1) ALWAYS BLOCK. On the xbox, I basically hold the L trigger at all times. This should be your default position, and from there you can flick the stick to roll, initiate attacks, etc.

2) Use shurikens to interrupt enemy attacks, and also to cancel your own attacks (this becomes more natural with time....at first, use them for stuns). This will create windows for you within which you can initiate a pre-emptive attack.

3) X+A (or X and [] on the Playstation platform) will allow you to jump towards the nearest enemy. It is a tracking jump. Once you get near them, press A again to jump off of their heads. This stuns them and allows you to roll towards them and initiate a free attack.

4) Blocking reduces the damage taken from incendiary shurikens. If you time a dodge just as they explode, you completely negate the damage (due to the i-frames afforded you during an evasion) but before you get the timing for that down, at least make sure you're blocking when they blow up.

5) The center camera button is your friend. Use it often!

Good luck and again, remember that Ninja Gaiden requires a very different mindset and playstyle than does say DMC. You don't get openings, you create them. Enemies are not there for you to kill; they're there to kill you.

Muramasa Rebirth Review

Muramasa Rebirth Review

Muramasa Rebirth is an enhanced port of a 2009 Wii game entitled Muramasa: The Demon Blade which was an excellent 2D side scrolling action role playing game that starred 2 characters: the princess Momohime and Kisuke, a ninja with, wait for it…..amnesia! Yes, amnesia, that old video game trope (I’ll save you the hassle of searching for the story section of this review and just tell you right now that if you are playing this game for the story you’re barking up the wrong proverbial tree).

When you begin the game you are tasked with choosing one of two stories to play through. Momohime’s  or Kisuke’s. Depending upon which choice you make you’ll either be travelling east or west; if you choose Momohime you’ll play as a princess possessed by a vengeful spirit in search of 108 legendary demon blades. Choose Kisuke and you’ll play as a ninja with amnesia……in search of 108 legendary demon blades. The stories both evolve (some might say devolve) from there but frankly, I paid very little attention. What did get my attention, however, was both the audio/visual presentation and the gameplay. The game is simply gorgeous, the music is great and it plays like a dream.

The Urge To Smash Break and Destroy

NOTE: This is a post I had saved (but never published) and I decided to put it up now since I think it could be the catalyst for an interesting follow up/update since things in my life have changed rather significantly since I wrote this nearly three years ago. I will ruminate on things for a bit and if I believe a follow up is warranted I will write one, post it and link the two articles to one another. 

From time to time, I get the urge to break things. To vandalise. To destroy. I don't follow up on these impulses (although I admit that I did a couple of times when I was a kid/teenager, although nothing serious) but when I have them they are pretty strong.

I'm not sure why I have these inclinations. It may be related to the society in which I live, as it feels restrictive, and these feelings are a response to this? I dunno. Maybe there's some sort of biological reason? Like I am supressing my innate destructive 'manly' urges throughout my 21st century, 'cultured' 'modern' and 'civilized' lifestyle, and my inner caveman makes an attempt to break free every now and again, an attempt that manifests as an ure to tear down the social order, the 'establishment.'

Should Microsoft Consider Purchasing Atlus? (UPDATED)

UPDATE: Congratulations to SEGA, whose bid was accepted and who are now the parent company behind Atlus.

Shin Megami Tensei. Persona. Etrian Odyssey. Trauma Center. Catherine. With these titles/entries into these series' Atlus, a long-standing Japanese video game development studio has finally made a name for itself in the West in recent years and now that this niche company is poised to make broader waves in the industry their parent company, Index, is doing everything it can to completely screw them over. They are losing money in every single division other than games (thanks to Atlus' success) and so amidst rumours of money laundering (yes, it's that bad) Index announced earlier this summer that they were filing for the Japanese equivalent (well, economics experts would take dispute the use of the term equivalence here as their version of bankruptcy (called civil rehabilitation) is very similar but not exactly equivalent) to bankruptcy protection as it is understood here in the West. Along with this announcement came a secondary announcement: Part of this process would be the selling off of their subsidiaries, the biggest of course being Atlus.

 And so starting, if I am not mistaken, at the end of July, Atlus has had a metaphorical for sale sign up in their (also metaphorical) window. This sale has attracted bids from more than 20 different companies, one of them being SEGA's parent company SEGA Sammy, who bid somewhere around $200 million U.S. If SEGA is successful in the attempted acquisition they will have immediately bolstered their suite of intellectual properties with the popular, critically acclaimed and diverse Atlus library. This is something that SEGA could really use, as their in house development has been stagnant for many years and while they have been publishing a decent amount of games this generation, they have not had any serious success. In fact, there have been more than one failures, both financially and in terms of public relations (PR). Having Atlus under their ownership would be of great benefit to them. 

Thinking about this one may wonder who else would benefit from acquiring Atlus?

Forum Discussion on Weak/Strong Atheism, Agnosticism, etc

Note: This is an old post that was was sitting in my drafts yet was never published. It's probably from 2011 but I thought I'd throw it up to have some new content on the blog in the interim between now and my next (newly composed, not an old draft) entry.

This is an excerpt of a discussion I had on a forum recently regarding religion/atheism, etc. (Italics is the other people, magx is in normal font.)

I just wanted to set you straight that not all atheists have the belief that there is no god.


If we're going further wax semantics, I suggest you look into agnosticism, because the above......


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism


....doesn't really help your case that you're some authority on the matter, here to keep me informed.

Left Trigger to Dodge and Customizable Controls

I have a gripe that I need to let out. This gripe is with the developers of hack n slash games. Actually, I have another gripe that just came to mind, which I will get to in a few minutes. The second gripe is with ALL developers. Let's get to the first one.

Gripe Number One

Hack n Slash developers, let me point something out to you: Ninja Gaiden (Xbox) was released in 2004. Almost six years ago to the day. And yet, almost none of you seemed to have received the very simple message: The right stick is not for dodging. Map that shit to the left stick! It's really easy: Left trigger is block, and the left stick is dodge. Simple, no? Here's why it's way better this way:

Speed

Think about it:

I'm in the middle of a combo. It's a four hit combo and I am just inputting the command for the fourth hit when I see one of my enemies initiate an attack. What do I do? I dodge, of course (or parry if that mechanic is built into the game) (and yes, you could also utilize a move with frame advantage and offset their attack (depending on the game) but shut up and bear with me here lol). So, where are my fingers at the moment I want to initiate the dodge? One is on the left stick, the other is on a face button, inputting the combo command. So, if the dodge command is mapped to the left stick, I can immediately dodge as soon as I see the enemy begin their attack animation, with absolutely no delay, correct?

UFC 164 Results and Poll Question (Regarding Co Main Event) (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) *UPDATED* Frank Mir Speaks

Here are the results from UFC 164:

Anthony Pettis def. Benson Henderson via submission (armbar)
Josh Barnett def. Frank Mir via first-round TKO
Chad Mendes def. Clay Guida via third-round TKO
Ben Rothwell def. Brandon Vera via third-round TKO
Dustin Poirier def. Erik Koch via unanimous decision
Gleison Tibau def. Jamie Varner via split decision
Tim Elliott def. Louis Gaudinot via unanimous decision
Hyun Gyu Lim def. Pascal Krauss via first-round TKO
Chico Camus def. Kyung Ho Kang via unanimous decision
Soa Palelei def. Nikita Krylov via third-round TKO
Al Iaquinta def. Ryan Couture via unanimous decision
Magnus Cedenblad def. Jared Hamman via submission (guillotine)

And now the poll question:

Was The Co Main Event Stopped Early?

In my mind, yes, it absolutely was stopped early. Fights usually get stopped on a fall from one big hit if the fighter is visibly knocked out or if they had been taking sustained/heavy damage prior to being knocked down . Neither of those two was the case here, imo.

UPDATE: Frank Mir had this to say about the stoppage when asked about it at the post fight press conference:

"Obviously I thought it was a bad stoppage," Mir said in the post-fight press conference. "We're fighters. If every fight was stopped on any kind of a flash shot or anything like that — actually, I took the knee, and I remember going, 's--- I'm in a bad position.' And that's why I dropped my other knee out from underneath me so that could fall to the ground and make sure I didn't take a second one. I didn't belly out, I didn't flatten out, and I actually tried to redig my underhook so that i could get a single. And I actually looked at the referee stopping it.

"And then at first I thought, maybe I was out? Did I take a bunch of shots that didn't see? And then after watching it, I was conscious the whole time. Even when I stood up I wasn't wobbled, I was completely coherent. So at best your argument is it was a flash knock down. I didn't know fights stopped on that. If that was the case I never would have beaten [Antonio Rodrigo] Nogueira, I don't think we would have seen Travis Browne knock out [Alistair] Overeem last week. There are too many fights in our sport that are exciting, and you've got to let us fight. I didn't sign up for a tennis match. It's nothing against Josh, he's a great fighter and he did what he had to do."

Well that certainly is interesting, isn't it? On the one hand the fact that he (at least claims to have) dropped down by choice to avoid further damage and attempt to initiate a takedown makes this stoppage all the more annoying for the fans and seemingly unfair for the fighter but on the other it actually lends the referee in this case a little bit of a sympathetic light in which he can be viewed- I mean, if fighters are going to be dropping to the mat on purpose and this looks indistinguishable from a knockdown, well, I'd hate to be a referee in a main event. 

Texas Church Causes Measles Outbreak

http://www.forbes.com/sites/emilywillingham/2013/08/24/measles-outbreak-traces-to-vaccine-refusing-megachurch/

This is the type of story that in the past would have caused me to rant both in writing and aloud, but at this point my outrage has been blanketed by a nonstop torrent of stories like this (by this I mean stories in which ignorance causes measurable (and avoidable) harm) so for now I find it sufficient to merely link to the story for anyone who may have missed it (this story broke a few days ago).

At this point all I can do is sigh and shake my head.

The PS Vita Might Just Be Portable Heaven

Check out this snapshot of my PS Vita home screen (this is just the first panel, there are actually several of them but this one alone makes my point):

If you ask me, this is pretty badass. Sure, it could be argued that the 5 Vita titles shown are rehashes, and I can't disagree. I can only add the caveat that it's still early in the handheld's life cycle, and there are many titles for the Vita that are not rehashes/ports etc. I just REALLY happen to love Ninja Gaiden, DOA, EDF and Muramasa.

Speaking of Muramasa, if you've played the Wii game and enjoyed it (if you didn't you're dead inside, because the game is fantastic) (I'm only half serious), you should check out the upgraded port on the Vita if you ever get the chance. Yes, that's right, I said upgraded. The Vita is not only capable of playing a Wii game, it's capable of playing an upgraded version of a Wii game. The game POPS on the Vita screen. Simply gorgeous to look at and it now features fully customizable controls, so if you hated having to use up on the stick to jump, well, you can now change that. Personally, I still rock that method, but I also enabled the x button to act as a jump, so I have the best of both worlds.

As for the other games on that screen, sure, they are PS1 games, but they are enhanced on the Vita and even if they weren't, you're still playing PS1 games on the go, as well as iterations of current console games, all on the same system with the best screen of any handheld ever. And I do mean ever. It's stunning how good games look on it.

Quick Thought- A Parody of Oneself

Mormonism is a religion featuring magic underwear started by a known con man and it is adhered to by droves of people in multiple countries. Scientology, a religion that deals with aliens and souls trapped in volcanoes was started by a science fiction author who is on record stating that the best way to get insanely rich is to start a religion- Religion seems to almost be satirizing itself at this point.

One Armed MMA Fighter Wins a Championship Belt

Lyoto Machida Got Robbed. MMA Judging Is Seriously Flawed

As soon as the third round ended at UFC 163's Phil Davis vs Lyoto Machida fight I felt certain that Davis was going to get the nod, and sure enough he did. In an ideal world, that would have been because Davis had clearly won the fight. In the world we inhabit, it was because, well, because he succeeded with 2 out of his 10 takedown attempts. 

Yes, you read that right. 

Phil Davis, an accomplished wrestler, was 20% successful at his main thing- the takedown. That means that Machida was 80% successful at doing his part- stuffing said takedowns. Well, then Davis must have significantly outstruck Machida on the feet, right? Nope. I think he landed a few more shots, but his accuracy was much worse than Machida's and Machida landed a lot more 'significant' strikes. All Davis did was land 2 takedowns, both near the end of the rounds in which they occurred. Machida, on the other hand, stopped an accomplished wrestler from taking him down 8 out of 10 times. That means He kept the fight where HE wanted it, and while he was there he did more damage. Yet for some reason, the judges don't seem to allocate points for stopping a takedown, which is INSANE. A takedown attempt is a fighter's attempt to establish Octagon control (placing the fight where you want it; one of the scoring criteria used by the inept judges). If the fighter in question is successful, the gain points (and rightfully so). However, if the opposing fighter fights against the takedown and is successful, he gets.....no credit? 

How the fuck is that fair, reasonable, or logical? 

Machida won that fight and I believe the UFC should award him a title fight. 

Some Unlikely Video Game Sequels I'd Love To See Made

Remember, these are more unlikely than not, so I am not listing stuff that will most likely be happening (Alan Wake 2, for example).

Just off of the top of my head, so to speak:

Ninja Gaiden (2D) (sequel/prequel, w/e)
Streets of Rage 4
Shadow Complex 2
Alpha Protocol 2 (Obsidian was onto something with that game man...stupid SEGA)
Geometry Wars 3
Psi Ops 2

Dynamite Cop 2 (please please please)
Road Rage 4 (?) (probably not as fun as we may like to think though)
Winback 3 (in the style of 1, not 2)
Shinobi (3DS one was great)
Final Fight 4 (?) 

NHL Hitz

Onimusha 4

Astro Boy: Omega Factor 2 (most people have no idea how good the GBA game was)
Jade Empire 2
Sudeki 2 (yes, seriously)
Altered Beast 3 (there was one on the GBA that many are unaware of- and it was actually good)
Chromehounds 2 (I am not into these types of games but I know many loved it)
Condemned 3 (in the style of 1, not 2)
Dead Space 4 (again, in the style of 1)
Amnesia 2 (consoles please!!!)
The Saboteur 2
Ninja Five-O 2
Tokyo Beat Down 2 (first had some potential)

How about you? 

Being Single Is Selfish....Sure, But Relationships Are Just As Selfish

Find that shocking? Ridiculous? Demeaning? Insulting, even? Okay, tell me: Why do YOU get into relationships then? Why does anyone?

(Note: This is a follow up of sorts to an earlier post I did regarding the selfishness of having kids. Click HERE if you want to read that one.)

 Here are some (arguably) selfless reasons (I say arguably given the selfish altruism theory popular in some psychology circles):

New Strider Game Announced!!!

Capcom has announced that they are publishing a new Strider game for both current and next gen Microsoft/Sony consoles, as well as the PC. The game, which is being developed by Double Helix (the development studio currently working on the new Killer Instinct game for the Xbox One) will be released in "early 2014." Click HERE to read all about it, as well as to look at additional screenshots/video not posted below.

Here is a quick comparison between the old and new (click the link above to see several more screenshots of the game in action):

Strider For the Sega Genesis

Strider in 2014

Gameplay footage:

I cannot wait to jump back into the boots of the ninja Hiryu....2014 cannot come soon enough!

The Cell Phone And The Parent

The other day I was walking my dog through a park when I witnessed a scene that, far from being uncommon, is unfortunately repeated all across the world each and every day. A father (and I use that term loosely) was sitting on one of the park benches while his daughter, who seemed to be about 5 years of age, played on the playground. The entire time I was there the dad was on his cell phone (probably texting a girl), looking up only when his daughter would call out to him, asking him to watch whatever trick (in her mind they were tricks) she was about to do. And even then his glances were perfunctory; devoid of any emotion or attention.

Seeing this filled me with a potent mix of pity and anger. Pity for the girl (just imagine what kind of message her father's averted gaze sends her) and anger towards the man who is spending once in a lifetime moments with his daughter being distracted by his phone.

Those scenes sure would have made for an interesting home video. I should have offered to film it for him.

On Ghosts and Hauntings (the hottest extra-curricular activity in the ghostiverse)

Poll a random group of one hundred people and you'll probably find at least thirty who believe in ghosts/spirits. A further ten of those people will likely believe in hauntings. I do not count myself a member of this group of people. There are just too many problems with the idea for me to subscribe to it (aside from the obvious lack of evidence). For one thing, this planet has been home to roughly a thousand trillion deaths over billions of years. Yes, billions, not six thousand. Sorry, Jesus freaks. Yet there seem to be maybe a hundred and twenty seven ghosts in existence and for some reason most of them lived in the Victorian era. Where are the Neanderthal ghosts? The Viking ghosts? Or more importantly, the dinosaur ghosts? I mean, what, only humans come back as ghosts? Humans from the Victorian era? If ghosts were real  they would be everywhere.

Not only would they be everywhere, if they had the ability to haunt life would be absolutely fucking unbearable because everything would be haunted.

Get it together people. You can rest easy tonight, okay? There are no ghost pterodactyls flying around your bed.

UFC 162 Predictions

Mike Pierce  vs. David Mitchell

Pierce via submission in round 2.

Seth Baczynski vs. Brian Melancon

Baczynski via submission in round 1

Edson Barboza vs. Rafaello Oliveira

Oliveira via boring ass decision

Gabriel Gonzaga  vs. Dave Herman

Herman via TKO in round 2

Norman Parke  vs. Kazuki Tokudome

Parke via tko in round 1

Chris Leben vs. Andrew Craig

Craig via ko in round 3 cause Leben gasses

Cub Swanson vs. Dennis Siver

FOTN contender imo. Tough to call. Siver by decision? Siver's been rejuvenated as of late and Swanson is a dark horse imo. can't wait!

Mark Muñoz  vs. Tim Boetsch

Hmmm....Munoz by decision I guess

Tim Kennedy vs. Roger Gracie

Kennedy via knockout in round 2

Frankie Edgar vs. Charles Oliveira

Edgar via decision (unless I'm wrong about his TDD). Btw, I like Edgar as a fighter. I hate all of that "point fighter b.s." He's technical and fun to watch, imo

Anderson Silva vs Chris Weidman

If Anderson doesn't come out more aggressive than usual and knock him out, then Weidman via submission or boring ass decision (it all depends on how much space he has to work with. If he gets Silva down (we'll find out) and doesn't smother him like Sonnen did I wouldn't be shocked if he submitted him during a scramble. Guillotine or a D'Arce or something. He just needs to have the balls to risk leaving that space. I just don't see him submitting him from within Silva's guard). If he doesn't nail his takedowns though....hahaha good luck. Or if he does but has no space to work with then it's going to decision (I doubt he'll get caught like Chael did). 

Beginning of a New Short Story I Am Currently Writing

The following is the beginning of a short story I am writing. I'm not entirely sure how this one will turn out but if it goes well I might end up with a pretty neat one (I have an ending in mind, but the path to it is murky and may not be traversable). If I do end up with a decent completed tale I might post it here, if anyone is interested. The tentative title is "Something To Think About." Here is the first little bit:

Dentist's Business Booming After Alleged Sex Abuse

Dentist's Business Booming After Alleged Sex Abuse

New York (Associated Press)

The dentist, Bedros Yavru-Sakuk, 62, of Edgewater, N.J, who was charged with the sex abuse of a 19 year old woman has been enjoying a rather unintended consequence of this recent turn of events: Business is booming. I ask him about this over the phone.

"Yes, it is true," he answers, speaking breathlessly into an office phone, his already strained voice being rendered even more indecipherable by the unmistakable sounds of an office teeming with activity emanating from what would presumably have been behind him. "I have been busier than ever since well, since that article was released." The article to which he is referring of course being the one detailing the alleged sex abuse. When I press him for details about it, he declines the offer to comment and instead says that anything he will have to say on the matter will be said in court. Any other questions I may have, he says, are to be directed at his lawyer.

Knowing better than to try again, I return to the earlier topic of his recent business success. I had spoken to some people from the area before my phone conversation with Mr. Yavru-Sakuk and almost everyone I spoke to who knew him had nothing but positive things to say. And so I ask him if he believes this increase in business to be a means of public support; a rallying cry of sorts, issued in his favour. He hesitates and then drops a bombshell on me: The increase in business has been exclusively female.

My Dog Maya

Meet my dog Maya:

Yes, I know; she's adorable. And yes, she's crossing her paws in the second pic. Why is she crossing her paws, you ask? I don't know. Why is she wearing a sock on her head in the following pic?

Sock it to me, baby

She does both of these things for reasons that are likely to be forever unknown to me and I wouldn't have it any either way. I may very well have the world's most enigmatic dog. 

Okay, you say. She is enigmatic. And admittedly very cute (although she looks a little you know......if dogs rode in schoolbuses as pups she would have rode in the short one, nomsayin'?). What else is she? 

What else else she? Well, let me show you:

Welcome to Mayaland. 

Dichotomy Between People's Actions and Their Self Perceptions

What do you call a person that eats meat? A meat eater.
What do you call a person that kills? A killer.
What do you call a person that cheats? A cheater.
What do you call a person that loves? A lover.
What do you call a person that hates? A hater.
What do you call a person that rapes? A rapist (not a raper...I wonder why?)

etc.

Basically, the above examples were made to illustrate a simple point. Said point being that most, if not all, people define other people by their actions. So far we are all in agreement? Okay, so here is where things get interesting. The farther out from someone's social circle is the more likely they are to be defined, in that person's mind, by their actions. The closer they are to that person the less likely (or at least the less intensely)  they are defined by their actions. There seems to be an inverse relationship between the degree to which one is defined, in the minds of others, by one's own actions and their social proximity to the other person/people. The rate of adherence to the rules of defining people vary with this proximity.

In the examples given above, one would assume that the people in question are people on the periphery of one's social group. Most people would refer to someone they read about in a magazine cheating on their significant other as a cheater. However, in the event that their best friend had an affair, would they be as likely to apply the cheater label? Taking this to the furthest point on the inverse end of this relationship is the judgement passers  themselves. What do most people call themselves when they do x or y?

I posit that they are quite unlikely to define themselves by these specific actions and instead are more likely to grant themselves psychological/moralistic leeway in the form of a statement such as "I'm not that kind of person," "I don't know what I was thinking- I don't do things like that" or "that's not me; I'm not really like that." Furthermore, I contend that you the reader have yourself done this, as, I will readily admit, have I, your gracious host and sexually proficient blog author.

So why the dichotomy?

Well, for the same reason that (in my opinion) most negative aspects of humanity exist: Ego.

Ego is a motherfucker. Ego is an incredibly strong motivator for much of the world's population; one that can be bested (or at least mitigated to a certain degree) but in order to learn to do so one must undertake a measure of study and practise. For most people, this process is unknown to them, and therefore out of their reach, regardless of their readiness to partake in it. This unreadiness/unwillingness to tackle the inhibiting effects of the ego (and the maintenance thereof) keep people in the default state in which they are prone to bending the truth (or at the very least use whatever techniques/tricks that are available to them in order to  maintain a certain narrative in their minds-a narrative regarding themselves and who they are as a person).

It is this psychological phenomenon that is responsible for the shift from actions being held to be the defining characteristic of a person's character to there being an essential "self" that exists outside of one's actions. The logical question is thusly evident, although the answer to it is not:

What are the criteria by which this essential self is judged? 

The answer, it seems to me, is partly past actions, partly the moral code that the person assimilated throughout their upbringing (a code that nearly no one follows at all times) and partly an idealized version of the self that is congruent with both a person's culture and the attributes they ascribe to a self actualized, idealized 'hero' character. Basically, we define ourselves by who who want to be, not who we are as would be judged if we were to be judged as we judge others; that is, solely by our actions.

The problem with this is that it can't be both. People either are the sum total of their actions or they are not. So which is it? Just remember that whichever choice you make applies to both you and everyone else. One interesting aspect of this fact that just struck me as I am writing this is that this choice basically comes down to either being harder on yourself or easier on everyone else. I'm not sure what people would rather do but I do know that either one comes down to the same unavoidable implication: You and everyone else will be held to the same standard. The exact thing that I believe sparks this problem in the first place.

I have a saying that applies here, and it as follows: You will be judged not by your actions but by the perceptions of your intent. Unless those doing the judging aren't you ;)

How Life Changes After Having a Kid (or at least how I felt about it two years ago)

The following is from a conversation I had online 2 years ago or so. I found it saved as a blog draft in a folder on my computer, and I remembered how I had planned on posting this here as a post about children from the point of view of someone who did not want one and did not experience a life changing shift in my viewpoint after having done so. I thought it interesting to read my thoughts at the time and compare my situation then to my situation now and I thought I would post it here given the recent post I made here about having children (if you have not read that I suggest reading it before reading this). 

Online friend speaking to a group of us online: "You guys are in your late 20's? I feel so young :( I'm only 21."

Me: "I'll be 30 in November :(

However, as depressing as that fact may be to me (very much so), much of the time I feel about your age. "Young at heart," as they say. Speaking of which, let me make a suggestion to you (any of you, really): If you plan on getting married, and/or having a kid (or kids), delay as much as possible. Get your shit together (career, finances, etc) but, more importantly, enjoy the everloving FUCK out of your twenties.

Is Having Kids Selfish?

Note: I posted a follow up of sorts to this article if you're interested (It pertains to the selfishness of romantic relationships).

Not having kids has been traditionally labelled a selfish decision by people who either have or want children. And while this accusation has been levied less and less as the numbers of childfree couples continues to rise around the world, it is not yet uncommon for someone who expresses their lack of a desire to have children to be chastised for even considering living such a selfish life.

When considering this one could easily think of some reasons one could possibly give for not wanting children that could actually be qualified as selfless rather than selfish. Not contributing to the ongoing overpopulation problem comes to mind. However, my my contention here is that one can take this a step further and actually claim that the desire to have kids is a selfish one, and quite possibly more so than desiring not to have them.

Think this to be a ridiculous notion? Well, read on and let's see.

Play Super Mario Crossover

Religion and Masturbation

I recently watched a movie entitled 'Teeth.' The movie (which wasn't very good but I digress), an indie horror with some comedic elements (it mostly failed on both fronts....some of it was amusing, none of it was scary, but again, digressing...), is about a very religious teenage girl who has taken a vow of 'purity' (aka abstinence) and goes around to other schools prattling on to younger kids and other teens about the 'evils' of sex and how it's only right to save your 'gift' until marriage, and blah blah.

Anyways, one day, this chick is sexually assaulted by a guy that she was starting to date. Not long after this guy forcefully enters her, his penis is bitten off and he dies. You see, her vagina has a set of teeth inside of it (hence the name of the movie) that clamp down and bite anything that enters her, unless she wants it in there and is completely comfortable (this aspect of her fucked up sexuality is discovered later in the movie). Any discomfort and CHOMP! So, throughout the course of the movie, a few penises and some fingers get bitten off, and magx01 gets a laugh or two watching this happen.

Watching this movie got me thinking (and in the mood to rant) about religion and its attitude towards human sexuality. One obvious area of immense damage done by religion is homosexuality. Another is premarital sex (abstinence being a big focus of the movie in question). However, I am going to avoid these particular aspects of sexuality for this blog and focus specifically on masturbation.

Introductory Thoughts on Xbox One.

Well I think its about time I hopped back on the blogging train.



After watching Microsofts Press Conference for the new Xbox I felt like talking about what I liked, what I hated and what I thought was just not needed.

Disqus and The Pony Express

I have integrated the Disqus commenting/discussion platform into this here little blog and while the integration process is underway, previous comments on posts here will be unavailable. They should be viewable again within 24 hours. If something goes wrong and they are lost forever, well, my condolences to anyone who loses their brainchildren. Here are some ponies and some trains:

Now, off you go.

Boston Wins Game Seven 5-4. Leafs Out of Playoffs

The Boston Bruins have defeated the Toronto maple Leafs 5-4, winning the game in an overtime that they forced by rallying back from an incredible 3 goal lead held against them by a now surely dumbstruck Toronto club. The Leafs sailed into the third period up 4-1, and the leafs nation was abuzz. They were going to do it.

And then Boston scored. 4-2. We're still okay.

Then they scored again. 4-3. Uh oh.

Then the next one. 4-4. *Silence* Leafs nation is stunned. Overtime ensues, and bam, Boston scores and just like that the Leafs' playoff dreams are squashed for at least one more year.

As for Boston, they now awaits the finale of the Capitals-rangers series to see who they face next in their quest to win the Stanley Cup.

Maybe next year, Toronto.

Source: nhl.com

UPDATE: Xbox Live Error 800704DC

Just a quick update regarding the issue outlined in this post. Microsoft support finally came up with a solution, which was (of course) one that I had suggested to them during the initial phone call. 

*sigh*

Said solution being them giving me a one month free Xbox Live gold code which they finally did this past Saturday. Of course, when I went to redeem it I received yet another error ( this transaction cannot be processed at this time, please try again blah blah). It took me a few minutes to figure out the problem; it was a free gold weekend and so it was disallowing the redemption of free gold since it registered me as already having it. Once the weekend promotion was over I was able to redeem the code and download my profile.

Finally!

So for anyone who encounters this issue, just make sure to tell the support staff that you know what the issue is and unplugging your console and plugging it back in is NOT going to address it. 

Oh, btw, those who know me won't be surprised to learn that rather than play Kingdoms of Amalur, as I had been planning on doing, the first thing I played was Ninja Gaiden 3: RE.....I think I'm starting to become a parody of myself at this point. 

PC Gamer Doesn't Like Forced Baptism in Bioshock Infinite, Asks Valve For Refund on Steam

 Link:
 http://kotaku.com/some-dont-like-bioshocks-forced-baptism-enough-to-as-473178476

There are a few obvious aspects to this story (as pointed out in the comments section of that article) that we can talk about, but those discussions have been pretty well-tread and feel slightly redundant to talk about right now. Anyways, that stuff isn't what I want to point out. The point I want to emphasize is the polite and cool-headed way that he wrote to Valve. I frankly don't give a crap what this guy thinks of the game, or if he's offended enough to ask for a refund, that's his decision. I can't possibly fathom how someone can be so offended that they refuse to even finish the game, but again, it's his free time and money, he can do whatever the hell he wants.  However, it's just nice to see someone express this in calm and rational manner.

Gamers can insult this guy all they want, but his behavior and methods for expressing his discomfort and dislike towards a part of the game is a refreshing change of pace from the usual idiotic behavior that permeates the online gaming community.

When this guy has a problem with an aspect of a game, he coherently asserts in an email to Valve why he should get a refund, and then moves on with life. He doesn't spend his time trolling message boards and comment sections every day raging about what he hates about the game. He doesn't whip other gamers into a frenzy to pursue an unbelievably misguided excuse for an activist crusade He doesn't spew hate-filled garbage or hostile insults or even death threats to the developers or threaten to bring frivolous legal action against them or the publisher.

When many others within the online gaming community have a problem with a certain aspect of a game, well...

Xbox Live Error 800704DC: Just Plain Mean

I'm trying to remember where my character is in my current Kingdoms of Amalur playthrough and I have no idea. The Outskirts of Gilderhorn? Greatwood Forest? Winterdawn Cavern? Bandit's Peak? 

I'm drawing a blank. Hell, I don't even know if those are real locations in the game or if I just made them up (I think it's the latter); it has been almost 3 weeks since I last played the game (the post I wrote here detailing my impressions after roughly eight hours of gameplay was posted on April 16th). I don't remember where I am or what I was doing. I do however, remember my character's name. His name is Muscles. 

Yes, I said Muscles. 

Muscles

I know, I know...I am a 31 year old child. This I do not deny, but I digress. 

I did not stop playing Kingdoms of Amalur because I grew tired of the game or began to dislike it. Quite the contrary, actually. I was really getting sucked into it the more I played and my infatuation with it was reaching classic intensity levels (I say classic because the degree/frequency to/at which I used to get infatuated with games has, much to my dismay, decreased as the years have passed by; what used to be common and all encompassing is now rare and fleeting). No, I stopped playing the game because of a little gift from Microsoft known as error code 800704DC. This lovely error occurs everytime I try to recover my xbox live profile. Why am I trying to recover it, you ask? Well, because it was deleted the first time I tried to recover it after being told to do so by Microsoft support. 

Oh, joy!

1st Adsense Cheque, Baby!

Read it and weep, bitches:

magx01 got his first ever Google Adsense cheque. I am now both a professional writer and an official Google Inc. contractor earning $50 a year for running and writing most of the content for The Thoughtful Gamers blog. Feels good man. Feels good.

Hey, wtf am I still doing here? I no longer associate with the likes of you. I'm rich, bitch!

*sips champagne*

P.S. To my contributors, if you start actually, you know, writing, I will cut you in on the riches. This time around you all get zilch.

Actually, in all seriousness, earnings should be going up because until yesterday I did not realize that the sitemap for this blog had not been submitted to the google indexing. That has not been remedied, and we should therefore start reaping the rewards of that within a week or so (I'm projecting at least 50% more views over the next several months). What's that? Yes, that means we might be making a whopping $150 over the next 2 years! Well, when I say we, I mean me, unless you get your asses in gear. We earn our -1000000 minimum wage around here.

Comedy Blog Update

I just finished writing a post for my new comedy blog (currently under construction) that I discussed previously on this here er, blog. I now have thirty eight posts written and waiting in draft form until the arrival of that glorious day when they are uploaded for all to see. 

Mysterious voice: Whoa. Thirty eight posts written in addition to the writing you have done for this blog? Looks like someone's been a busy little bee!

Who, me? Well, I suppose I have been but it's hardly anything worth fawning over.

*secretly relishes the attention*

Hello? Mysterious voice? Where'd you go?

*silence*

Oh :(

*is sad*

Article: Woman Burnt To Death By Would Be Muggers For Having No Money On Her

A violent gang of thieves in Brazil burned a woman to death after stealing her credit card and finding she had less than £10 on it. The teenage thugs burst into the office of dentist Cinthya Magaly Moutinho de Souza, in Sao Paulo, shortly after midday on Thursday while she was treating a patient. They demanded the 46-year-old hand over all her money. But when a petrified Ms de Souza said she had none she gave them her credit card and PIN. One of the criminals held her and her client hostage while the others went to a cash point to empty her account – only to find she had less than £10 in it. The furious men returned, doused her with alcohol and set her on fire. They put a hood over the head of the patient, who heard Ms de Souza screaming at her attackers: “Don’t do it.”

LINK

This is absolutely horrendous. Imagine being at work when suddenly a few gang members burst in and minutes later you're screaming in agony as you burn to death. And to think that one of the offenders was a mere 17 years of age. Unreal. 

FPS Gamers Inadvertently Shooting Themselves In The Proverbial Foot? Cost of FPS Games to Double?

My brother sees an ad for a Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 map pack and shouts at the TV "Ah ya, dude, the new map pack is out!" He looks like a little kid on Christmas I think to myself.

"Oh ya?" I pause, debating whether or not to feign interest. Before I can decide I find my stupid mouth getting ahead of itself as it has so many times in my life and out tumbles a response: "Nice."

Nice? Ugh. Great job there, mouth.

"B-"

Hey! Don't you dare talk back to me! You just shut your goddamn whore mouth, mouth.

Whoa, jeez I'm supposed to be blogging. Sorry about that, folks. It won't happen again, I promise. Now where was I? Oh ya, the Call of Duty map pack thing.

Catherine, Herbert Schaible's Second Child Dies After Parents Use Prayer, No Medicine

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A couple serving probation for the 2009 death of their toddler after they turned to prayer instead of a doctor could face new charges now that another son has died.

Herbert and Catherine Schaible belong to a fundamentalist Christian church that believes in faith healing. They lost their 8-month-old son, Brandon, last week after he suffered from diarrhea and breathing problems for at least a week, and stopped eating. Four years ago, another son died from bacterial pneumonia.

Prosecutors said Tuesday that a decision on charges will be made after they get the results of an autopsy.

Catherine Schaible's attorney, Mythri Jayaraman, cautioned against a rush to judgment, and said the couple are good parents deeply distraught over the loss of another child.

Full Article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/23/herbert-catherine-schaible_n_3138001.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning Impressions

Well, a year after the whole 38 Studios/State of Rhode Island fiasco I finally got my hands on (rental) the game at the centre of it all: Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.

Greg Horn (Father Filmed Horribly Beating His Daughters) Arrested! And My Thoughts On People Defending Him

Language Warning: This situation has infuriated me so expect a bunch of swearing.

Greg Horn aka "The Asshole Who Whipped His 12 and 14 Year Old Daughters On Camera" has been charged with child endangerment and corporal punishment. Link:

http://abc22now.com/shared/news/top-stories/stories/wkef_vid_12329.shtml

Here is a picture of the piece of shit child abuser:

For those not in the know what happened is two sisters (aged 12 and 14) were making a 'twerk' video ('twerking' definition) to post on Facebook when their father walked into the room and proceeded to whip them with an audio/video cable while they screamed, cried and pleaded for mercy. Here is the video of the event in question (warning: it's fucking disturbing, probably doubly so if, like me, you have a daughter):

Nice, eh? (Yes, I'm Canadian). So he beats them and gets arrested. He will likely end up in jail (especially give that this is not his first child abuse charge.....classy). Disgusting, but at least it's over now, right? We saw it, we felt the emotion, maybe discussed it with friends/family, and now we, along with the news cycle, can move on, right?

Well, no. Not me. This whole thing is driving me absolutely batshit insane and I can't stop thinking about it. I have been reading comments from people about this situation posted on various websites, and discussed it a bit myself on a forum/message board I frequent, and even though I knew it was going to happen, I still found myself feeling absolutely astonished at the fact that there are actually people, large numbers of them even, defending this scumbag's actions! This horrifies and infuriates me of course, as we are talking about the vicious beating of two little girls by the person who is supposed to be nurturing and protecting them, but what I feel even more strongly than the horror/anger is a profound sadness at just how little people seem to think/know about/understand their own  kids (or just kids in general).

Hilarious Double Dragon II XBLA Game Description (PIC)

Check out the hilarious description on Xbox Live for the newly released Double Dragon II: 

"That's Gold, Jerry! GOLD!"

How Do You Feel About Love/Relationships At This Point In Your Life?

This was a forum topic I recently encountered and the following was my response:

At this point, having been married, single and everything in between, as well as seeing the experiences of people around me and reading about these things online, I have to say that I am opposed to relationships in which the two parties are living together. At least for now. I own my own house and am perfectly content being alone in it. I have absolutely no desire to live with another woman at this point (I have lived with 2 in my life).

As far as relationships that don't involve cohabitation go, I am not necessarily opposed to them but at this point in my life I don't even want that. To be honest, I have much more fun hanging out with friends/my brother than I ever did with a girlfriend/my ex wife. Really, if you take sex out of it, you have a friend, but in most cases, one that isn't as fun to be around as are your male friends since females and males are often so different (what they consider fun, the conversations you can have, etc). Of course I am generalizing here but that's the nature of the conversation.

I really believe that despite what we tell ourselves, access to sex might really be the biggest/most potent motivator for the forming of relationships. Not many relationships survive without it and guys will go to extreme lengths to put up with **** that they would NEVER take from friends and the reason for that is sexual desire- which, if you really want to deconstruct this, is simply the biological urge to procreate. I believe that alone is the basis for all of it, and everything else is  a nice little narrative constructed around it.

Theism and Belief: Why is the Burden on Us?

An atheist and a theist engage in a friendly debate about the topic of god; specifically, whether or not one exists. The crux of the atheists' argument is essentially that the evidence for the existence of a god is lacking and has not led to the acceptance (on the part of said atheist) of the hypothesis that such a being exists. The theists' bottom line sentiment is that the evidence is sufficient for people all around the world (him or herself included) and it is up to the atheist to accept this evidence/open their heart/be open minded etc (there are many platitudes that are used in this situation).

This discussion has taken place innumerable amounts of times throughout history, and I don't see any reason to believe that it will not continue to do so for at least the foreseeable future. What I find particularly striking about this fact is that the existence of god is one of the few topics for which it is acceptable to claim that the burden of belief/being convinced lies not on the strength of the evidence put forth to bolster the claim but rather on the target(s) of said claims. A few other topics for which this is true are UFO's, bigfoot and the Illuminati/New World Order. Would anyone care to venture a guess as to what it is that these topics have in common? 

There is no proof that any of them exist (none of them do in my not so humble opinion). 

11 Years and 1000's of Hours of Gameplay Later I'm Still Learning How To Play Ninja Gaiden

Ninja Gaiden (Xbox) released in 2004, and since then I have played it (and its various incarnations) for thousands of hours. Literally. And even still I find myself, from time to time, learning new things. Either through experimentation or by watching videos/reading other people's forum posts. Just a couple of minutes ago I learned a new boss fight strategy while watching a Ninja Gaiden Black karma run video (Master Ninja difficulty) on YouTube. (For those who play the game(s), if you didn't know, you can OL UT Murai (if there's essence available) by first hitting him with >Y. Then simply OL UT him on the comedown.)

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying this depth is exclusive to Ninja Gaiden. Nor even video games.  Nor is this the only (or even close to the biggest) reason I love the series. It's just a small aspect of it that I find to be really cool and part of the reason I keep playing after all of these years. 

And for my long time readers, yes, I am still yammering on and on about Ninja Gaiden. It will never end so 

The Reality Of Working From Home

I have been working from home for the last two and a half years or so and despite what you may think, it's no paradise. When you think of working from home you might imagine waking up at noon, commuting to your office downstairs and proceeding to work in your pyjamas. Sitting at the laptop outside on a sunny day, sipping a coffee and listening to the radio. Lunches eaten in front of the t.v. Maybe a quick sandwich followed by 45 minutes of Call of Duty multiplayer. Taking half days off (or maybe even full days) whenever you damn well feel like it.

You might imagine yourself designing you own custom work schedule, something much different than the typical 9-5, Mon-Fri. Perhaps you think you would work twelve hour days for three days in a row and then have four glorious days off each and every week. Or perhaps you'd work five hours or so a day, seven days a week. Work everyday but much shorter days. But, hey! You're working from home, so you don't even need a stupid schedule! Just work whenever and however you want, totally on a whim with no pre-programmed schedule to follow.

You might imagine these things and you might think that it all sounds like absolute heaven. What you wouldn't  imagine, however, is the reality of it.

PS Vita Review

Alright, let's just get this out of the way: The Vita is gorgeous. I mean, just look at the damn thing!

Eye Candy, anyone? 

That's a sexy piece of hardware. And seeing it in motion, with that 5-inch OLED (multi-touch capacitive) (touch)screen displaying high fidelity graphics in ridiculously sharp, crisp detail is something else altogether. I absolutely adore my Nintendo 3DS but just look at it:

It's cute and all but it's not even close. If you were to poll the average consumer as to which portable they believe to be the most pleasing to the eye the Vita would come out on top almost every time. Sleek lines, no wasted space, amazing screen....it's a beauty. 

Now that we got that out of the way, let's dive into this review, because "looks ain't everything, kid." 

Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus (Vita) Ninja Race Mode Tips

I have thus far only completed Ninja Race 01 (there are 5 courses) but I can offer some tips. These tips are for playing as Ryu Hayabusa; I have not yet tried playing with any of the secondary characters.

-Lunar Staff is obtained after beating Chapter 1 in the story mode- do this first.

-The Lunar features quick combo kills using weak, weak, strong. This is much faster than square, square, triangle, shuriken cancel, triangle with the dragon sword.

-The Lunar is also fantastic for crowd control, unlike the DS. Standing neutral strong, either stand alone or chained into a combo is good, as is the standard weak, weak, weak, strong strong. A good one for quick limb detachments is chains starting with towards and square. This is a poke with range and power and like the other combos mentioned above it seems to grant some crowd protection in the same way that VF combo strings do. The dragon sword does not carry this advantage.

-The Dragon Sword does have the flying swallow, but it whiffs too much sometimes and therefore wastes too much time. There's no whiffing with the Lunar staff.

-Minimize ET/UT usage. Keep it to the purple essence or health if you don't need it. You'll definitely want to avoid using the green essence for them as green grants time bonuses. The white essence grants speed and power bonuses so try not to utilize that for ET's/UT's either, unless you're at max speed/power or you're in trouble.

Random Thoughts: Divorce and Kids

I'm not divorced but we're separated (about 18 months now) and it was and has been totally amicable. I love that woman to death but we were not right for one another and now we're both better off. Our child (who is 4) is perfectly happy as there is no animosity and we even still do things together with her so that she still gets that 2 parent experience. Not a bad word is ever spoken about either parent to her and she knows that mommy and daddy love one another.

I believe it's when parents communication is fractured, bitterness sets in and the children become pawns in a childish chess match that "children of divorce" end up negatively impacted. Now, am I deluding myself to a degree? Quite possibly. It might still be better for her to have us both around at all times, but hopefully if that is true it is counterbalanced by the fact that I am much happier now and can therefore really be the dad I aspire to be.

Just keep the bullshit to a minimum, ALWAYS keep it away from the kids and remember that at the end of the day life is messy; there's multiple ways to live life. If you're happier separated and the kids are happy and get time with both parents, then fuck societal expectations and the guilt that people (many of whom frankly regret their decisions but won't admit it) try to engender in you for not living the "right" way. Your life and your happiness are important too. Happy people make happy parents.

Building A Comedy Blog/My Absence

To Whom It May Concern,

I am in the process of building a comedy blog, which I will link to when I am damn well ready :P While building said blog is taking quite a bit of time (I am trying to build a backlog of content before launching it; I'm like 16 posts in which is great, but not sufficient) it is only partly the reason for the absence of posts lately (the other reasons are illness, injury, laziness and a lack of inspiration). That being said, I have a few drafts in the works for this here bloggidy blog, so worry not; you'll be hearing from me soon. I haven't abandoned my baby.

Yours truly,

Seinhor Banana

P.S. If you're actually reading this and care....seek therapeutic intervention before it is too late. Wait....no, don't. For my sake, stay insane and keep this page bookmarked. Your mental health is less important to me than your readership.