1st Adsense Cheque, Baby!

Read it and weep, bitches:

magx01 got his first ever Google Adsense cheque. I am now both a professional writer and an official Google Inc. contractor earning $50 a year for running and writing most of the content for The Thoughtful Gamers blog. Feels good man. Feels good.

Hey, wtf am I still doing here? I no longer associate with the likes of you. I'm rich, bitch!

*sips champagne*

P.S. To my contributors, if you start actually, you know, writing, I will cut you in on the riches. This time around you all get zilch.

Actually, in all seriousness, earnings should be going up because until yesterday I did not realize that the sitemap for this blog had not been submitted to the google indexing. That has not been remedied, and we should therefore start reaping the rewards of that within a week or so (I'm projecting at least 50% more views over the next several months). What's that? Yes, that means we might be making a whopping $150 over the next 2 years! Well, when I say we, I mean me, unless you get your asses in gear. We earn our -1000000 minimum wage around here.

Comedy Blog Update

I just finished writing a post for my new comedy blog (currently under construction) that I discussed previously on this here er, blog. I now have thirty eight posts written and waiting in draft form until the arrival of that glorious day when they are uploaded for all to see. 

Mysterious voice: Whoa. Thirty eight posts written in addition to the writing you have done for this blog? Looks like someone's been a busy little bee!

Who, me? Well, I suppose I have been but it's hardly anything worth fawning over.

*secretly relishes the attention*

Hello? Mysterious voice? Where'd you go?

*silence*

Oh :(

*is sad*

Article: Woman Burnt To Death By Would Be Muggers For Having No Money On Her

A violent gang of thieves in Brazil burned a woman to death after stealing her credit card and finding she had less than £10 on it. The teenage thugs burst into the office of dentist Cinthya Magaly Moutinho de Souza, in Sao Paulo, shortly after midday on Thursday while she was treating a patient. They demanded the 46-year-old hand over all her money. But when a petrified Ms de Souza said she had none she gave them her credit card and PIN. One of the criminals held her and her client hostage while the others went to a cash point to empty her account – only to find she had less than £10 in it. The furious men returned, doused her with alcohol and set her on fire. They put a hood over the head of the patient, who heard Ms de Souza screaming at her attackers: “Don’t do it.”

LINK

This is absolutely horrendous. Imagine being at work when suddenly a few gang members burst in and minutes later you're screaming in agony as you burn to death. And to think that one of the offenders was a mere 17 years of age. Unreal. 

FPS Gamers Inadvertently Shooting Themselves In The Proverbial Foot? Cost of FPS Games to Double?

My brother sees an ad for a Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 map pack and shouts at the TV "Ah ya, dude, the new map pack is out!" He looks like a little kid on Christmas I think to myself.

"Oh ya?" I pause, debating whether or not to feign interest. Before I can decide I find my stupid mouth getting ahead of itself as it has so many times in my life and out tumbles a response: "Nice."

Nice? Ugh. Great job there, mouth.

"B-"

Hey! Don't you dare talk back to me! You just shut your goddamn whore mouth, mouth.

Whoa, jeez I'm supposed to be blogging. Sorry about that, folks. It won't happen again, I promise. Now where was I? Oh ya, the Call of Duty map pack thing.

Catherine, Herbert Schaible's Second Child Dies After Parents Use Prayer, No Medicine

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A couple serving probation for the 2009 death of their toddler after they turned to prayer instead of a doctor could face new charges now that another son has died.

Herbert and Catherine Schaible belong to a fundamentalist Christian church that believes in faith healing. They lost their 8-month-old son, Brandon, last week after he suffered from diarrhea and breathing problems for at least a week, and stopped eating. Four years ago, another son died from bacterial pneumonia.

Prosecutors said Tuesday that a decision on charges will be made after they get the results of an autopsy.

Catherine Schaible's attorney, Mythri Jayaraman, cautioned against a rush to judgment, and said the couple are good parents deeply distraught over the loss of another child.

Full Article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/23/herbert-catherine-schaible_n_3138001.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning Impressions

Well, a year after the whole 38 Studios/State of Rhode Island fiasco I finally got my hands on (rental) the game at the centre of it all: Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.

Greg Horn (Father Filmed Horribly Beating His Daughters) Arrested! And My Thoughts On People Defending Him

Language Warning: This situation has infuriated me so expect a bunch of swearing.

Greg Horn aka "The Asshole Who Whipped His 12 and 14 Year Old Daughters On Camera" has been charged with child endangerment and corporal punishment. Link:

http://abc22now.com/shared/news/top-stories/stories/wkef_vid_12329.shtml

Here is a picture of the piece of shit child abuser:

For those not in the know what happened is two sisters (aged 12 and 14) were making a 'twerk' video ('twerking' definition) to post on Facebook when their father walked into the room and proceeded to whip them with an audio/video cable while they screamed, cried and pleaded for mercy. Here is the video of the event in question (warning: it's fucking disturbing, probably doubly so if, like me, you have a daughter):

Nice, eh? (Yes, I'm Canadian). So he beats them and gets arrested. He will likely end up in jail (especially give that this is not his first child abuse charge.....classy). Disgusting, but at least it's over now, right? We saw it, we felt the emotion, maybe discussed it with friends/family, and now we, along with the news cycle, can move on, right?

Well, no. Not me. This whole thing is driving me absolutely batshit insane and I can't stop thinking about it. I have been reading comments from people about this situation posted on various websites, and discussed it a bit myself on a forum/message board I frequent, and even though I knew it was going to happen, I still found myself feeling absolutely astonished at the fact that there are actually people, large numbers of them even, defending this scumbag's actions! This horrifies and infuriates me of course, as we are talking about the vicious beating of two little girls by the person who is supposed to be nurturing and protecting them, but what I feel even more strongly than the horror/anger is a profound sadness at just how little people seem to think/know about/understand their own  kids (or just kids in general).

Hilarious Double Dragon II XBLA Game Description (PIC)

Check out the hilarious description on Xbox Live for the newly released Double Dragon II: 

"That's Gold, Jerry! GOLD!"

How Do You Feel About Love/Relationships At This Point In Your Life?

This was a forum topic I recently encountered and the following was my response:

At this point, having been married, single and everything in between, as well as seeing the experiences of people around me and reading about these things online, I have to say that I am opposed to relationships in which the two parties are living together. At least for now. I own my own house and am perfectly content being alone in it. I have absolutely no desire to live with another woman at this point (I have lived with 2 in my life).

As far as relationships that don't involve cohabitation go, I am not necessarily opposed to them but at this point in my life I don't even want that. To be honest, I have much more fun hanging out with friends/my brother than I ever did with a girlfriend/my ex wife. Really, if you take sex out of it, you have a friend, but in most cases, one that isn't as fun to be around as are your male friends since females and males are often so different (what they consider fun, the conversations you can have, etc). Of course I am generalizing here but that's the nature of the conversation.

I really believe that despite what we tell ourselves, access to sex might really be the biggest/most potent motivator for the forming of relationships. Not many relationships survive without it and guys will go to extreme lengths to put up with **** that they would NEVER take from friends and the reason for that is sexual desire- which, if you really want to deconstruct this, is simply the biological urge to procreate. I believe that alone is the basis for all of it, and everything else is  a nice little narrative constructed around it.