"If marijuana is so good for you why does it make you cough?"

If marijuana is so good for you why does it make you cough?

This is a question I was asked and in fairness, on the face of it it seems a reasonable one. However, it is very misguided. Coughing isn't necessarily indicative of marijuana being unhealthy. Coughing is just a bodily response to your airway being irritated.

Irritated, you say? Well, see it's bad for you. You just said it's irritating to the airway!

Irritation is in no way a reliable indicator of something being unhealthy. Spicy foods can cause tremendous pain and irritation while being eaten but time and again science has proven spicy foods to offer a wide range of health benefits. Stretching your muscles, lifting weights, running until your body feels like it's on fire or receiving a deep tissue massage are painful and/or irritating to the body while also being extremely good for you. Marijuana is much the same.

Of course, everything has negatives attached and everything can be done too much but moderate, intelligent use of marijuana is at worst a benign undertaking and at best a very positive one with a myriad number of health benefits (both mental and physical health).

In Defense Of 'Crazy' Stay At Home Moms

We all know the trope of the 'crazy' suburban mom; you know,  the one who screams at her kids and husband all day despite being medicated to the gills with pharmacological agents and vodka coolers and while I have done my share of sneering at them to myself and others (shitty behaviour around kids is hard not to sneer at) I have been thinking a lot about these women and what might be at the root of the problem and I think that "they're just crazy" isn't fair and what really may be going on is totally not their fault but actually the fault of the way we engineered post-industrialization/post-agricultural societies.

If you travel back in time to say 50,000 years ago, what was the life of a mother like? Were they alone, separated into individual houses, or together as a community, dealing with everyone's' kids all at once?

It was the latter.

Assuming we all agree on this point, (and how can't we; I'm always right after all, right C-man? fuma!) what can we take from this? Well, it logically follows that evolving to raise kids in a community would lead women of future generations to basically needing said communities for support and ultimately, optimal mental health. So, separating into houses all along a street and living in their own little worlds with their kids and hubbies (when home from work) could possibly be setting them up for failure. Living contrary to ones' nature is a recipe for mental illness, right?

If we think about the nature of women, are they more oriented towards being solitary or in groups? I think we all know the answer. They are definitely wired towards being hive minded. Men are generally the more solitary creatures. So, in the interest of fairness here, is it really any wonder that once they are separated into individual homes alone with their kid(s) all day that they go "crazy?" They are living without the social support networks they evolved to need!

I always think/talk about how the way this culture is engineered is really bad for men, but I am starting to consider the possibility that it's bad for women as well. It's bad for all of us, I think. One day I'll stop being so lazy and really dig into this idea and post a detailed, cogent, thought out piece about it. I really think there's a lot about the way we are living that we need to rethink. I'm just so lazy.....damn culture's fault!

Travel Back in Time and SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF

This is a snippet of a "love letter" (blargh) I wrote for an ex girlfriend years back. It's.....I mean.....Jesus Christ. See for yourself:

It is an impoverished existence, one that is without you in it, and I must now redouble my energies and refocus so that I may live this new leg of the journey that is my life to its absolute fullest capacity, in perhaps a vain but surely blissful endeavour to make up for the dark half of this, mine imperfect and tumultuous life. I look forward to an illuminated, enlightened, and surely more rewarding second half.

May your love ever shine brightly down upon me, and may it always light my way.

Someone needs to invent a time machine so literally everyone on Earth can travel back to the moment I started to write that letter and SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Disgusting. 

Is All Offense Equal?

If one person is offended by something another person does and asks them to stop doing it but the second person says they are offended by the first person's attempt to control them is the second person's offense as legitimate as the first person's?

I have been thinking about this intermittently for over a year as it happened to me at work with a former coworker- she interrupted a conversation I was having to ask that I stop swearing (she was of the Muslim faith and very conservative) as it offended her. I was mixed on this as on the one hand it's not a big deal to try and reign it in a bit if it makes her more comfortable but on the other hand now I have someone trying to control my language- even when I am talking to someone else.

I ruminated on this for a while and then I asked her "If my swearing offends you it is right for me to stop it, yes?" She agreed and then I asked her "Okay now say I am offended at your attempt to control my speech- should you now respect my offense and stop trying to control what I say?" Her answer, which pops into my mind every once in a while and gets me thinking about this again was.....*interesting.* She simply said "No, it's not the same thing."

Hmmmm......

So I ask you: Is all offense equal or are there levels of offense? A secondary question I guess would be is being offended the fault of a third party or a function of your own psychology and therefore cannot be pinned on someone else?

Common Parenting Mistake I See Everywhere

Taking a child expressing (clumsily; they're learning) their emotional reaction to something you say/do as "attitude" or "talking back," getting upset about it (ego) and then coming down overly hard (only making things worse).

For example, you tell your five year old that they need to finish their dinner before they can watch TV. They respond by telling you that you're "mean." You then get angry and come down on them (*how dare you speak to me that way* type of response, often followed by a threat or punishment).

A better response would be taking the time to explain your rationale for making them eat first before TV.

Kids need to know there's a beneficial reason for us stopping them from doing things otherwise they take it as nothing but authoritarian dominance and that sort of perceived dynamic never ends well.

I know we're often frustrated or tired and no one is perfect but trying to minimize this sort of thing is better for both parties in both the short and long term.

"Why won't he open up to me? I just want him to share his emotions and thoughts."

The cultural narrative regarding this of course being that women are empathetic and men are trained to be cold and un-emotional and if only they would open up they would realize the women who love them would be there for them in an unbelievably satisfying way and their mental health (and relationships) would improve.


So simple, so obvious and so correct. Right?


Wrong.


They might not realize it but their biological imperative is to test for weakness/vulnerability (it all boils down to child rearing, resource acquisition and protection) and they can't do this if the guy is holding back. Will he be strong, dependable and successful? Will he protect her and the children as well as provide for them? She isn't sure and so something feels "off" to her. What this culture seems to have forgotten/wanted to deny as of late is how much our biology controls us.


Guys, she isn't saying this because she cares and wants to help (she may believe this.....or not). It's so that she can more accurately screen you as a mate/potential father.

Why Advertising is Anti Male

It's because, despite all of the pro-female messaging in today's culture, women (deep down) still feel inferior to men. The advertiser's role here is to make women feel good about themselves, so that they think that good feeling comes from the product, when in fact it's because they witnessed women getting one over on their superiors. It wouldn't work with men because we don't see ourselves as inferior to women, so if men were hitting women, or women were clumsily falling around, that wouldn't make men feel good, it would just be awkward. Men love women, women hate men, and advertisers know this all too well, and have to use it to sell products from mops to frozen foods.

If women didn't feel inferior to men, this simply wouldn't work, and they would refuse to buy the product. With men, you have to show them what the product is, how it works, why it's better than others on the market, and why they need it. With women you don't need to do any of that, you just have to show men being clumsy, and women being "sassy" and "empowered", then show the brand name, and like braindead zombie-sheep, they flock to buy the product.

Let kids take risks. Let them fail. Let them get hurt. End Helicopter Parenting!

If you practice doing things in the face of possible danger as a child (sports, skateboarding, climbing trees, wrestling, etc), you become almost fearless as an adult which aids you in almost any realm (business, dating etc.). Let your kids take risks!

My ex wife HATES the way I let our daughter take risks. She HATES the way I don't coddle her when she is hurt (there's a difference between hurt and HURT, mothers) and instead insists she "mans up" so to speak. She HATES the way I let her fail over and over and over and don't lie and say everything she does is "good enough." Well in twenty years she'll be happy with who our daughter has become even if she won't have enough insight to understand how she became so. 

There's a difference between being hard and your kids/having expectations for them and being an unfeeling dick. I love the shit out of her and hug her every day. Doesn't mean the world needs to stop when she stubs a toe.

If you want your children to be self actualized, confident, powerful, contented, centered and engaged (with the world) adults..........when they are kids LET THEM BE KIDS. Helicopter parenting is the worst thing to happen to childhood since media reports of kidnappings became so prevalent (actually there's a casual relationship there which the media should have to answer for). It may sound stupid but there's a direct correlation between tree climbing and playfighting (risk taking and "violence") and adult success. Every time you tell them to stop because they "could get hurt" you're reducing their chances of succeeding later in life. Which of course you will blame them for in twenty years, adding to the damage you already caused. 

LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS.  

Society focusing on the individual and thinking we are "free of" biology is a huge mistake.

The postmodernist idea of redefining everything (like gender roles or relationships) through the lens of personal freedom/happiness, etc might be great for individuals but like any problem, political or otherwise, we have to consider society as a whole across generations. Something might be better for individual humans but much worse for humans at the societal and/or multi-generational level. This is something we are really bad at thinking about and so many changes under way right now are great on the face of it but spell disaster long term.

The trend of ignoring the influence of biology on personal satisfaction is one example of this. There is a trend right now of acting like we are "beyond biology" but the truth is we are inexorably tied to our biological natures. The result of this is scores of people in 20 years saying things like "I am doing what we all agreed is our new freedom to do yet I am miserable. Why can't I just be happy?"

Naming the Glory Hole Guy

Why don't we have a name for the guy on the receiving end of a glory hole? As far as I am concerned, not having a name for these guys is an injustice. They do very difficult and taxing work and for that to go unrecognised is a travesty. They do a public service after all! Ask any gay man and they will most certainly agree that the glory hole guys are the unsung heroes of the gas station bathroom dwelling contingent of the gay community. And by god I say it's time they get sung!

So, ladies and gentlemen, while I myself have no suggestions (I was going to suggest Elton Johns but I would rather not get sued) I would like to deem this post to be my public broaching of this very pertinent subject and I would like to go on record as stating that we, as a society who recognizes our everyday heroes, can no longer ignore the guys on the messier end of glory holes all around the world. For this service to the greater good to continue on unrewarded (well, outside of the inherently rewarding 'money shot' they so often receive) is an injustice....no, a travesty.....no, an infamia

"The glory hole guy not being given respect is an infamia and no son of mine will  refuse to give such a man his dues"

It looks like guys who have anonymous sex with other guys though holes in the walls of various public restrooms (like at rural mom n pop gas stations and other fine establishments) are as important to The Godfather as they are to me. You wanna disagree with The Godfather? No? Well if you disagree with me you disagree with him, so get thinking and post your suggestions in the comment section below, lest ye too  commit an infamia.

Trivia: Marlon Brando (The Godfather) was bisexual, so perhaps he himself frequented some bathrooms.....hell, he maybe even used a glory hole or two in his day. If so, which end would he have preferred? I wonder.....

I really wish MS hadn't made Ninja Gaiden Black backwards compatible.

I was FINALLY over my addiction to Ninja Gaiden. I was enjoying all sorts of new games and new genres. After over 1000 hours of Gaiden I thought I had it licked. I played the Tom Raider reboot (and sequel). I played Bastion, A Tale of Two Sons, The Walking Dead, Torchlight, Fallout. Skyrim, Doom, GTA V, XCOM, Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid: Samus Returns, Castlevania LOTS, etc. I replayed the Mass Effect trilogy. I started playing the Dragon Age series. Origins was AMAZING. DA2 was fun. Inquisition was daunting but engaging and I was maybe thirty hours in when I got a message from my buddy. "Dude, Ninja Gaiden Black is playable on the Xbox One and it looks/runs amazing!" "Cool....but I played enough of that on the original XBox and the 360. Plus NG2, Sigma, 3, Razor's Edge, Sigma Plus, Sigma 2 plus, the NES trilogy.....okay might as well boot it up to see how it runs...."


Now, 2 months later I forger what I was doing and where I was in Dragon Age. The story is fading in my mind. The characters, the lore....all fading. I eat sleep dream Ninja Gaiden. I beat Normal. I beat Hard. I'm almost done Very Hard. Master Ninja is next. Approaching 20 million Karma in Mission Mode.....might as well chase 30 million since I never got there....and if I do, well screw it why not go for 40?


I have played maybe 8 hours of other games in the last 2 months. NHL 16 with a friend, and Rainbow Six Siege/Overwatch for a few hours each since they were free to try for the weekend (Overwatch is AWESOME.....Rainbow Six is good but 1, 3 and Black Arrow are still the best imo).


Today I have the whole day to myself. The kid is with the ex wife. Great time to get back into Dragon Age, right? Yep.....boots up Ninja Gaiden.


I wish I believed in a god so I could pray for help cause I think I'm like a guy back with his abusive ex- I know it's bad for me and everyone is telling me so but the sex man....the sex is just unbelievable.

My Daughter's First Words

I have a daughter, much to her chagrin (mine as well). She's 4. Cute as a button. Bright. Not a big fan of mine. In fact, l can still hear her very first words as though she was saying them at this very moment.....

She had been trying to speak for a while, making those babbling sounds that sounded as though they wanted to be words but had no idea how to become them; unrealized potential uttered by an idiot savant in a diaper. She had come very close on a few occasions, once even possibly saying "mommy" but it was too hard to call so we decided not to officially declare that as her first word, opting instead to wait for something that was undeniably a fully articulated English word. And then it happened. She had been playing with her blocks, seemingly unfazed by any of the events surrounding her, when all of a sudden she looked up at her mother, then myself, then her mother again, dead in the eyes, and whispered, softly but very clearly, with the inflection properly placed at the last syllable of the word to denote the asking of a question, "Why?"

If she'd had the ability to, she would have said "Why him, Mommy? Why?" but still, the question she was asking was very clear to us both, and unfortunately for her there was, and still isn't, a sufficient answer. I guess the best I could ever hope for is to just stay out of her way as much as possible and try really hard not to ruin her now or embarrass her later.

Poor thing. You never do get to choose your parents after all.