Advice To Potential 'Self Help Gurus' ('Life Coaches', Marriage Counsellors, Sex Therapists, etc)

There are often two paths when it comes to advice about life, yet in cases where this is true, the path that is followed is the one that is perceived as the sole option, as those who follow this path are blind to the existence of the second, and more importantly, correct, path. For example:

Let's say the advice in question is regarding a married man, self described as "happily married," who is guilty because even though he loves his wife and the marriage is great he can't stop wanting to sleep with other women. He doesn't act on it this desire, but he feels it. Often. Now, the path most travelled, seen to those taking it as the only path (they're wrong) is the sit down/discuss the relationship/examine the self/spice up the sex life with the wife path.

If you want to really help people, stay away from that path. The people on that path are playing in a matrix of socially approved and spread ignorance they just don't see (or they do but they deny it because it is threatening to them in some way). There's a second path, at that path is truth. Real truth. Often politically incorrect truth. So, in the example above regarding the husband with the wandering eye, the second path would be the that's natural/there's nothing to worry about/and p.s your wife does the same thing path.

Stick to the second path and you'll draw the ire of the masses but you'll also be truly helping people and what could be nobler than that?

The Problem With Media Reports On Studies About Video Game Violence

We've all read the headlines. "Video Games Lead To Violent Behaviour." "Video Games Cause Immoral Behaviour In Teens." "Video Games Lead To Aggression." The question is, are the conclusions drawn in these reports backed up by the science they are reporting on? My contention is that they absolutely are not and I will use a recent study to demonstrate where they are going wrong.

The study in question, conducted in Italy and published in the online journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, looked at how violent video games influenced post play morality in teenagers. The researchers recruited 172 high school students (aged thirteen to nineteen) and separated them into two groups. The first group was tasked with playing a violent video game. The second group was given nonviolent games to play. After both groups played the games, they were directed to complete a logic test, and every time they achieved a correct answer they were allowed to remove a raffle ticket from a bag. The teens were left alone in a room to do this, and upon completion of the study the researchers found that those who had played violent video games prior to taking the logic test were eight times more likely to remove more than the one raffle ticket from the bag when they correctly completed a section on the logic test.

The authors noted that the teens who showed signs of 'moral disengagement' were the most affected by playing violent video games. Moral disengagement is the ability to remove oneself from the normal rules of morality in certain situations because, in the view of the people who show this trait,  morality does not apply in certain situations. The teens with this trait were much more likely to steal after playing a violent game. A nonviolent game did not trigger as large a discrepancy between the two groups.

A study like this is perfect fodder for one of those media frenzies mentioned earlier. According to the study, the teens, especially those who score highly on "moral disengagement" scales were more likely to take extra raffle tickets; to steal, essentially. At the very least, to cheat. Not good, right? Obviously the violent video games are having a negative effect, one that was not seen to the same degree in the group that played non violent games. Seems like an open and shut case on the face of it. Except it's not. At all.

The Explosions Look Like Pizza: A Mighty No. 9 Review

As you likely know, Mighty No. 9’s development has been controversial and tumultuous. The Kickstarter campaign was a success and fan enthusiasm was high. This was short lived, however, as delays, mixed messaging and awful trailers followed. And now, amidst further controversy, regarding some comments allegedly made by developers of this game, Mighty No. 9 has been released. And it's......you know.

 

The layout of the game is straightforward: There are eight levels, each of which is presided over by one of the “Mighty Numbers” (Robot Masters)- bosses whose abilities you (Beck) can absorb after defeating them. Do this and by the end you're putting together an ever growing list of skills in order to get through constantly evolving, tougher challenges. It's a tried and true formula for a reason: It works and it pushes, challenges and yet empowers the player.

As far as the level design goes, it’s standard stuff: tricky jumps, tight quarters, evolving enemy patterns. Clear, concise, constant difficulty progression. Rewards for exploration (with a few red herrings thrown in for good measure, a la Ninja Gaiden (NES)).

So far so good.

Taking Reality for Granted?

Taking Reality for Granted?

We all have senses, and we use our senses to perceive the world around us. The sum total of our sensory perception is the input to which we ascribe the characteristic of reality. When we do this, we are effectively saying that what we sense around us is what exists around us, and we use this information to guide us as we move about the world in which we live. However, there is a problem inherent within this methodology, as philosophers have been noting for millenia: We cannot be certain that reality is as we perceive it, since the perceptions that we cite as evidence are necessarily subjective, and are devoid of external, independent confirmation of their accuracy. Or are they? This is the question I'd like to address.

Parenting: On Yelling and Hitting

My daughter is 7 now and I can count the times I have legitimately yelled at her on one hand. I have always talked to her, reasoned things out, etc. I prioritize her psychological health over anything else- us being late, me being tired, whatever. And I NEVER hit her. Or "spank" her (which is hitting, stop pretending otherwise).

I have always had a policy of "treat her like I'd like to be treated." No one would want to be yelled at or hit by someone six times their size, so why would we expect fragile little children to tolerate that? It's totally unfair (but I get it!!!! they don't understand our job and how they unintentionally make it harder and what we feel/go through, especially as single parents; we're tired, stressed, dissatisfied, etc....I do get it!).

People around me try to convince me to "toughen up" as they think sometimes things "take too long" (just yell and she'll do it right away, they say) but again my priority is her not me or them. Everyone always uses the running on the road example (what if she ran onto the road without looking, you're going to "talk" it out?) but she never does anything like that and she listens very well. She respects me because I treat/see her as a real person and I make sure to care about how she is feeling. In turn she doesn't want to disappoint me so she tries her best to be a helpful girl.

I know it's tough. We're tired, we're frustrated, the list of things to do never ends. But you have to keep in mind the nature of children, understand it and work with them- don't hold them responsible for their nature (they had nothing to do with it). Ask yourself why you yelled or hit and you'll realize your answers don't actually justify the response. It's always "we were going to be late or I said it four times already!" which really means "it didn't happen when I wanted it to" which is never worth even a minuscule amount of fear, anxiety, or hit to self confidence that they can (and do) experience. They are fragile and they need us to be on their side.

Muramasa Rebirth Review

Muramasa Rebirth is an enhanced port of a 2009 Wii game entitled Muramasa: The Demon Blade which was an excellent 2D side scrolling action role playing game that starred 2 characters: the princess Momohime and Kisuke, a ninja with, wait for it…..amnesia! Yes, amnesia, that old video game trope (I’ll save you the hassle of searching for the story section of this review and just tell you right now that if you are playing this game for the story you’re barking up the wrong proverbial tree).

When you begin the game you are tasked with choosing one of two stories to play through. Momohime’s  or Kisuke’s. Depending upon which choice you make you’ll either be travelling east or west; if you choose Momohime you’ll play as a princess possessed by a vengeful spirit in search of 108 legendary demon blades. Choose Kisuke and you’ll play as a ninja with amnesia……in search of 108 legendary demon blades. The stories both evolve (some might say devolve) from there but frankly, I paid very little attention. What did get my attention, however, was both the audio/visual presentation and the gameplay. The game is simply gorgeous, the music is great and it plays like a dream.

Sit a Lot? Have Pain? This Post is for You!

Any of you, like myself, who works in an office type environment knows that we sit. A LOT. I work 4 11.5-12 hour shifts per week and at least 5 of those hours are spent sitting. If I wasn't dealing with patients I'd be sitting for the whole thing (used to do that when I was on the analysis side of things) and if you aren't yet aware of this fact become so now: SITTING IS DEATH.

I'm in medical but I ain't no doctor so I'll save the nitty gritty for someone else but the basic idea is that the angle of our hips is not set but actually fluctuates based on the activation (or lack thereof) of attached and surrounding musculature. What effects that is the positions we take during the day- how we sit, stand, kneel, squat, etc. Sitting forces the hip into an unnatural angle and since we are often hunched over computers we also end up overusing some of the muscles in the shoulders, mid and upper back and underusing muscles in the chest and abdomen (as well as legs for both over and underuse). You end up with a whole bunch of misaligned, over used, underused etc muscles and these imbalances lead to injury and chronic pain. Not to mention that horrible hunched over 90 year old posture with the rounded shoulders and back and forward head.

Over the last 1.5 years or so I have been developing back, hip and neck pain and I have been becoming more and more acutely aware of my posture and how tight some muscles of mine are (and how weak others are). I have also started focusing on how much I sit and taking measures to mitigate the damage done every day.

So what have I been doing/should you be doing? Glad you asked  :lol: (but wait, there's more!)

1) Work out. Focus on your core especially.

2) Stretch your chest, hip flexors, shoulders, back and legs (quads, calves and hamstrings). You can google around to find out what stretches are for what if you don't already know.

3) Sit straight. Google proper sitting posture and try to adopt it. Stand straight. Shoulders down and back (ears and shoulders aligned); chin up. Try to lead with your qroin and keep your neck exposed. "beta" hunching posture is all about protecting the neck and balls. Strut that shit.

4) Take sitting breaks as often as possible. I will get into the "third world squat" position and hold it there for 30-60 seconds, or walk around, or do other stretches (or all of the above).

The basic idea is to open the hips, strengthen the back, stretch the chest and legs (and strengthen those hammies), sit and stand straight and allow the body to hold the positions it "likes" best.

Yoga is brilliant for this shit and if you like to smoke/vape/eat/drink/whatever the fuck marijuana good LORD does it enhance things.

Good luck and let's all strive for as little pain and damage as possible as we age. These new kids coming up are FUCKED because of how much they sit and hunch over screens. Text neck indeed.

I Had a Religious Experience Thanks To A Tennis Ball, Pot and Some Stretching

Yesterday I did 90 minutes of stretching and intense myofascial release via tennis ball solely focused on my lower right side- adductors. psoas, iliopsoas, tensor fasciae latae, iliotibial band, etc after eating an edible a friend gave me and I had a goddamn religious experience. I have always heard about how intense stretching can lead to psychedelic states but until yesterday I never really went to the heights I achieved. I almost don't believe it myself (I wouldn't if I wasn't already intimately familiar with how edibles affect me; I'd just chalk it up to that) but I swear I felt like I was 20% in this world and 80% one with the universe. Pain and pleasure started to mix together with the world around me until I was swimming in sensations. I can't explain it, it was completely bananas. All I know is muscles that have been tight for like 20 years screamed at me and then released under my relentless stretching and when they did my whole body orgasmed.

I have been flirting with this stuff for a while now but I am definitely 100% on board. You all haven't felt pleasure until you release a muscle 20 years into tightening. You just have to fight through some pretty intense pain first (I had my head tilted back moaning in pain a few times).

Fuck that was amazing.

Resident Evil HD Remaster Review

One door leads to three which all lead to three and pretty soon there's a multiverse of doors and each death means going back 30 doors and I get confused.

7/10

Shout Out to Heavy Hands Podcast

If you want to rekindle your mma love or just increase your enjoyment of it (by learning the intricacies of the game- the more you know the more you will enjoy) check out http://heavyhandspodcast.com/

 I started listening several months ago and I'm learning a lot. Great technical breakdown of both the ground and standing aspects of mma, as well as everything in between. Makes watching it even better as they are helping to fill the gaps in my knowledge (there are many- mma is very complex). I have learned about things I never knew or would never have noticed and that changes the act of watching the fights. It's much more exciting when you have so much more in front of you to see. Moments during which "nothing is happening" aka ground stuff (or standup fights fought with a focus on defense, range, evasion and positioning aka not slugfests) that seem 'boring' become much less so when you learn that there's more going on that it seems, You can get a whole new understanding of the game; you learn to appreciate the small, subtle things and you can even better predict fights outcomes because a lot of the time, a win starts some time before it happens.

Honestly, the whole story of the fight changes when you understand the deeper/less obvious things. You start to see layers that you didn't before. Singular moments become investments in moments often not seen until later rounds. A punch is not always meant to hurt or even score points; sometimes the idea is to get a guy moving or thinking a certain way. Two guys moving around "not doing anything" are often fighting- fighting for better foot positioning, better angles. Better chances to score. Same goes for the ground. When you first get into mma you watch it as a moment by moment type of thing but what this podcast helps you understand is that there's a meta-game going on and a lot of times it's entire sequences that need to be viewed as a move. It's often about what will come later and that's something the fans in attendance often don't get- hence the booing.

If you like mma and want to love it- try Heavy Hands. If you love mma and want to love it even more, try Heavy Hands. If you hate mma, fuck you (but still check out the podcast).

Just be warned- that theme song will addict you just as much as the insight will and you`ll find yourself singing it at work.

My List of Badass Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games- Part Three

Part two can be found HERE

Metroid - Zero Mission

Castlevania- Circle of the Moon

My List of Badass Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games- Part Two

Part One

Medal Of Honor: Infiltrator (seriously)

Ninja Five-O

Marriage Joke

A man brings a buddy home for dinner unannounced at 7:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him while his friend just sits and listens in.

Wife: "My hair and makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?"

Husband: "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!"

Pilots Without Planes- A Titanfall Review

Titanfall is an online only shooter that takes place in a future in which humans have colonized outside of Earth but have not yet freed themselves of the shackles of violent confrontation. In a government vs. the people type scenario, diplomacy has failed, as it often does, and a violent revolution has broken out and both sides are utilizing mechanical, weaponized armour called Titans to do aid them in expressing their message of discontent. 

It would not be all that hard to understand why, to an outside observer, Titanfall might strike them as "just another fps." A standard, run of the mill first person affair replete with fast paced  action complemented by a screen covered in rpg-esque numbers and symbols; both of which work to provide immediate and visceral satisfaction and long term addictive behaviour, including the inability to refrain from buying overpriced map packs or a "season pass." Play the game however, and it becomes abundantly clear that Titanfall is more than that. The folks at Respawn Entertainment were clearly aware of the state of the genre and the long term implications of market oversaturation and worked hard to make a shooter that may look like the rest but is actually substantially different (even including addressing the pricing of post release downloadable content).

My List of Badass Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games- Part One

Astro Boy: Omega Factor

Does Making Depression Okay Add To The Problem?

Quick thought: In the same way that people repress their sexual urges (they don't rape everyone they want to fuck but won't be able to) is it possible that if depression was socially unacceptable we would see a lot less of it? Would people not give in to the urge to be depressed? Just now I felt a wave of depression looming and rather than give in I fought it and in doing do, I actually diminished the feeling. Had I given in to it, I would right now be in the clutches of it. I am not sure that this is the case but I suspect that there are a lot of depressed or "bipolar" (everyone under 24 is bipolar now) people who are mostly just giving into self pity and the urge to be coddled. If the culture was not so 'understanding' I doubt there'd be as many of these people.

Or they'd just repress it and live in quiet misery, I dunno.

Did I Just Have An "A-Ha" Moment Or Am I A Misogynist?

I just powered up Mario style (I'll just leave it at that) and I started really thinking about stuff when a thought struck me and I want to share it here and ask if I am on to something or have actually crossed a line and become an actual misogynist.

Basically, in a lot of domestic violence cases, the violence is both ways. I am assuming we agree that in most cases, the man who does hit the woman first does so not literally for no reason (like, woman these eggs are overcooked *bam*); it's not the fucking 1850's, alright? It's usually during an argument. Heated argument. And what do women do during arguments? Insult. Demean. Chastise. Belittle. Provoke. Threaten. Mock.

Insult. Demean. Chastise. Belittle. Provoke. Threaten. Mock.......wait, if a man did that to a woman in their relationship, wouldn't people say that man was an emotional abuser? So isn't what these women are doing actually emotional abuse? Now, you might say that hitting is not justified as a response. I mean, it's HITTING, right? The thing is though, and this where I may lose people, say you slap someone in the face. What actually happens? Their face stings. They may feel afraid. Or enraged. Or ashamed. What's the person being emotionally abused feeling? They may feel afraid. Or enraged. Or ashamed.*

The only real difference is the stinging face, right? So you can do all that shit to people and it's okay, just don't make their face sting?

But how do you stop someone who won't stop emotionally abusing you? What if it went on and on and on? They followed you from room to room? Just refusing to leave you alone. Why can't you make their face hurt for a minute to make them stop? Are you just supposed to take it? Leave your own house? And why is she being portrayed as an innocent victim? That sounds to me like discrimination in favour of women to me.

I'm not saying it's okay to hit a wom- oh wait, I guess I am?

Am I?

Fuck...

But am I right?

*There`s a difference between thinking things out/asking question and defending or promoting something, so save the over the top angry comments/accusations, etc. I've never hit a female and I really couldn't see myself doing so despite what I am saying. I'm not much of a fan of hitting anybody; what I am a fan of however, is dissecting common ideas and logic testing them.

Weak Bitches

Lately I have really been noticing just how much people not only run from adversity, but they convince themselves that they can't do any different.....and then society panders to them, reaffirming this shit. I work in the medical field and it's really clear just how fucking weak and lazy people are when you talk to patients and they say I can't do x or I can't tolerate y. You have to be all "understanding" but really I wanna just be like "have you ever fucking tried?" " Do you ever challenge your inner dialogue/self definitions?"

It's a stupid, simple example, but for me personally, I was always someone who "couldn't watch needles being placed in me or I get faint/freak out." The thing is, I never tried.....until the last year or so. One day while getting an iv inserted I just decided that I was going to look. Guess what? Was fine, and have been doing it ever since. If you tell yourself "bitch, you're fucking doing this, okay? If you had a gun to your head you'd do it and you'd be fine, so stop being a pussy and just fucking do it, okay?" you can do pretty much anything, regardless of how many years you have spent telling yourself otherwise.

I started doing this with stretching and working out, and it's the same thing. "I can't, I don't have the strength" is really just "It hurts way too much and there's nothing forcing me through it, so I quit." I can bang out 10 more pushups than I thought I could, and I can hold a stretch much longer than I told myself I could, as long as I do it with a strong mindset that refuses to quit. I am pretty good at this now although I still quit a lot. It's a constant battle. Most people it seems don't ever even start the battle and they define themselves along the "I can't" line and everyone around them tells them it's okay, I can't either." It's just weakness.

Rape Culture Does Not Exist

Rape culture isn't real. There, I said it. It's an incorrect idea perpetrated by radical feminists and has no factual basis in reality. It traces right back to a self-reporting study by Mary Koss for Ms Magazine that gave us the bogus 1 in 4 figures (ie 1 in 4 women will be raped) feminists continue to cite. The truth is, 73% of the women she identified as victims did not believe they’d been raped or sexually assaulted. Additionally, 43% of the people she identified as victims went on to date their “attackers”. She used definitions of rape that were not even remotely rape but then included them all under the umbrella of rape. 

The results of a similar survey for men using overly loose definitions of rape as used in the study cited above which was released a while back found that almost half of school-aged boys and men were raped (95% of their rapists being women). Now, of course, this is utter nonsense, but what people need to understand is that this is the EXACT type of nonsense that gave us the 1 in 4 women stat. Overly loose definitions of rape. 

What we do know is that rape is NOT a gendered crime. Men and women are raped in the US about equally, and quite possibly is the case throughout western society. Most people do not know this because Koss and other feminists saw to it to have the CDC and FBI classify male rape victims into a completely different category of sexual violence. Therefore male victims of rape aren't included in govt rape statistics. When you include male victims of rape that the govt lists in the "forced to penetrate" category, the figures are almost identical.

One of the most annoying way the statistics are used to mislead is the stats they quote with respect to the number of accusations that result in prosecution. They will say something like "only 2 in 9 are prosecuted!!!" and then draw the conclusion that the cops and attorneys don't take rape that seriously. That drives me NUTS. Rape, by its very nature, is often a 'he said she said' type of crime aka my word against yours crime (two people alone in a room, etc). Those types of crimes are hard to prosecute because of the need to establish guilt beyond a measure of reasonable doubt. These cases are often hard to win in court so they don't go forward. It's not sexism against women, it's a consequence of the nature of the crime. Women don't need to educate men. What they need is to think more rationally.

Now, because of this "rape culture" bs, comedians are being targeted. Feminists say that rape jokes add to the "rape culture" but have absolutely zero evidence that a single rape has ever been committed because someone saw a comedy show, heard a rape joke and went "yeah, rape is pretty cool- I'ma go rape someone tonight." The people who rape are ALREADY WILLING TO RAPE. Jokes make no difference whatsoever. The other part of it that I despise is the "my feelings are hurt, someone do something about it" aspect of it, as well as the fact that people are laughing and enjoying a show, so who the fuck made you the authority and the one to stop the show because you have an inner boo boo (usually not even on behalf of yourself but perceived victims who are probably not even in attendance). If you don't like the show, LEAVE. Who on science's green earth taught you that it's reasonable to demand a group of people stop enjoying their chosen entertainment because it makes you feel funny inside?

It's time we stop unfairly villianizing men in this society.

Sources:

Nara Schoenberg and Sam Roe, “The Making of an Epidemic,” Toledo Blade, October 10, 1993

Neil Gilbert, “Examining the Facts: Advocacy Research Overstates the Incidence of Data and Acquaintance Rape,” Current Controversies in Family Violence eds.

Richard Gelles and Donileen Loseke, Newbury Park, CA.: Sage Publications, 1993, pp.120-132

Campus Crime and Security, Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, 1997. Note: According to this study, campus police reported 1,310 forcible sex offenses on U.S. campuses in one year. That works out to an average of fewer than one rape per campus.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/cdc-study-on-sexual-violence-in-the-us-overstates-the-problem/2012/01/25/gIQAHRKPWQ_story.html
http://www.avoiceformen.com/allbulletins/honey-badger-radio-mary-koss-and-the-american-rape-machine/
http://www.saveservices.org/2014/03/e-lert-hidden-victims-men-who-are-forced-to-penetrate/
http://www.rainn.org/news-room/rainn-urges-white-house-task-force-to-overhaul-colleges-treatment-of-rape
http://time.com/37337/nearly-half-of-young-men-say-theyve-had-unwanted-sex/
http://www.genderratic.com/p/2798/male-disposability-mary-p-koss-and-influencing-a-government-entity-to-erase-male-victims-of-rape/

What Women Really Mean When Calling a Man an Asshole

Whenever a girl says some guy was an 'asshole' it almost always just means that she wants to feel like a princess and he made her feel like what she really is- just another girl*. Either that or what he wants doesn't line up with what she wants, so somehow he's an asshole even though she is not a bitch for having her own desires. 'Asshole' does not mean a bad person (in these cases). It really means "he did not make me feel special enough" and/or "he wants different things than I do." Examples:

"He texts me hours after I text him, sometimes even up to two days after! What an asshole." (not special enough)

"I said I wanted a relationship but all he wants is sex. What an asshole!" (wants different things)

"He looks at other girls right in front of me. What an asshole!" (not special enough)

"We hang out four times a week and he knows that's not enough for me but he still hangs out with his friends 3 nights a week when he KNOWS I feel left out. What an asshole!" (wants different things).

*Unless of course he's actually an asshole.

Open Letter To Chair Entertainment

Dear Chair,

(never thought I'd ever type that particular sequence of words)

I am writing to you today to ask a favour of you. You see, your company developed one of the absolute best video games last generation (no, sorry, not Undertow). The game to which I am referring is of course Shadow Complex. Shadow Complex was easily the best Xbox Live Arcade game at the time of its release, and in this (not so?) humble gamer's opinion, still is (maybe tied with Geometry Wars and Puzzle Quest but I digress). Let me tell you a little story:

I have been gaming since the late 80's. I grew up on all of the same games you all (hopefully) did. Namely (duh), platformers, shmups, adventure games and beat em ups. You all probably have your favourites from these genres, and many of them will likely differ from mine. However, one thing we definitely have in common is a love for the old school archetypal game designs of the eras bygone, one of the most prominent, and criminally (yes, criminally) underused being the so called “Metroidvania” (“Castleroid” to some, but they are from the wrong side of the tracks, so we can do as the government does and simply ignore them) design. Super Metroid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night are the two most well known games of this type, but of course there are many more (just not enough). Clearly, you fine people noticed this travesty and decided to capitalize on the oversights of others far less badass than thou and release to the world a brand new game using this game design philosophy.

So, on August 19^th, 2009, you released Shadow Complex and the response from both gamers and critics was overwhelmingly positive. The sales were great (despite that unfortunate little trial version exploit that you wish we would have forgotten (we didn't, but I bought the game, so don't worry)) and Chair Entertainment (now a subsidiary of Epic Games, ching ching!!) was on the map. All well and good, but how do I fit into this story, you ask? Well, I am glad you did. See, to make a longer story long, I, as I stated earlier, have been gaming since the late 80's, and while I still love gaming, I definitely fall into the rose tinted glasses nostalgic old school gamer camp. Games, for the most part at least, just do not satisfy, excite, challenge or engage me the way they used to (with few exceptions) (Bayonetta, anyone?). And then you came along and holy **** I was 12 years old again! 

This Culture is Insane

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article20191164.html

Conversation On Agnosticism vs Atheism

OU812 wrote:

It staggers the mind, if you think about it, that so, so many of our 'enlightened, intellectual' class pass by the label of Agnostic in order to proudly label themselves Atheists. Why not be content with being Agnostic if you, as an intellectual, cannot prove any conclusive position on this point? It seems calling yourself an Atheist is a cheap and easy way to secure an appreciation of your intellect - in certain circles, anyway. I am not using this as a means of starting a theological debate, but to me, the lack of consistency exemplifies, so blatantly, human failings. Would any Atheist 'intellectual' conclude that there is no life on other planets simply because there is no proof that there is?

Gnosticism deals merely with knowledge, not belief. That's where theism comes in. Everyone is agnostic, since NO ONE knows for sure. Saying you're 'agnostic' is a nonsense statement in a sense since it says nothing about what you believe. Even the most religious person on earth is agnostic, no matter what they say. So when someone asks if you believe in god(s) if you're one of those people who shrugs their shoulders and thinks "I dunno" that's not what they asked.

The right answer (and this is where people start getting annoyed and whatnot but it's just true) is that you don't currently hold a positive belief in god, aka you're an agnostic atheist. If you think 'I dunno' when someone asks if you believe in god you're definitely not a theist......which makes you an atheist. There's no third middle option. That middle option people think of is actually the answer to a separate question (do you KNOW a god exists).

Theism= belief in a god.
Prefix 'a' denotes the lack of something.
A-theism= the lack of a belief in god.

Gnosticism= knowledge of god's existence.
Prefix 'a' denotes the lack of something.
A-gnosticism= the lack of knowledge of god's existence.

Two different things. It's not agnostic or atheist; those are two different answers to two different questions. I am an agnostic atheist.

OU812 wrote:

That may be accurate in a literal sense, but i don't think most people, particularly those in the public eye who voice their opinion on the matter, go any further into the definitions of atheist, agnostic and believer/theist than as I had originally argued. That would certainly make sense since I believe those in the forefront of politics and popular culture, the opinions I am hearing and evaluating, are the pseudo-intellectuals Sowell so elegantly swipes at in his books.

You, Sowell, and those like you are all making the same mistake. Let me quote you to show you what I am talking about:

OU812 wrote:

Now both believers and non-believers require the same level of proof to come to their conclusions -- none. It is the Atheist, however, who claims the intellectual high ground for his position, ridiculing those who disagree.

The problem with this is that the burden of proof is always on those making a claim. The axiomatically correct stance in any case of the asserted existence of some thing is the null hypothesis until proven otherwise. This position should only be changed to belief/acceptance of the claim when sufficient evidence is given to them by those making said claim. So, in the case of the existence of a god, the human who says "hey, a god exists" to a second human, or a group of humans, must then prove that this is true. Much like the prosecution must prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt in a court case, the god believer must demonstrate to the people he is preaching that the god in question exists and he must do beyond all measure of reasonable doubt. If they fail to do this, the 'atheist' is holding the correct position- that of disbelief. He need not defend this disbelief nor is it correct to accuse him of holding a faith based position. It is in fact the philosophically correct one.

Sowell is wrong and imo, he just gets off on writing off the atheists as angsty pseudointellectuals. It's lazy.

In Defense Of 'Crazy' Stay At Home Moms

We all know the trope of the 'crazy' suburban mom; you know,  the one who screams at her kids and husband all day despite being medicated to the gills with pharmacological agents and vodka coolers and while I have done my share of sneering at them to myself and others (shitty behaviour around kids is hard not to sneer at) I have been thinking a lot about these women and what might be at the root of the problem and I think that "they're just crazy" isn't fair and what really may be going on is totally not their fault but actually the fault of the way we engineered post-industrialization/post-agricultural societies.

If you travel back in time to say 50,000 years ago, what was the life of a mother like? Were they alone, separated into individual houses, or together as a community, dealing with everyone's' kids all at once?

It was the latter.

Assuming we all agree on this point, (and how can't we; I'm always right after all, right C-man? fuma!) what can we take from this? Well, it logically follows that evolving to raise kids in a community would lead women of future generations to basically needing said communities for support and ultimately, optimal mental health. So, separating into houses all along a street and living in their own little worlds with their kids and hubbies (when home from work) could possibly be setting them up for failure. Living contrary to ones' nature is a recipe for mental illness, right?

If we think about the nature of women, are they more oriented towards being solitary or in groups? I think we all know the answer. They are definitely wired towards being hive minded. Men are generally the more solitary creatures. So, in the interest of fairness here, is it really any wonder that once they are separated into individual homes alone with their kid(s) all day that they go "crazy?" They are living without the social support networks they evolved to need!

I always think/talk about how the way this culture is engineered is really bad for men, but I am starting to consider the possibility that it's bad for women as well. It's bad for all of us, I think. One day I'll stop being so lazy and really dig into this idea and post a detailed, cogent, thought out piece about it. I really think there's a lot about the way we are living that we need to rethink. I'm just so lazy.....damn culture's fault!

10 Reasons Why Living Alone Is Awesome

Having gone from living with my parents for over 20 years to living with my fiance-turned wife for several years after that to now living alone for the last 3 years I can honestly say that living alone, at least for me, is by far the best. Here are some reasons why:

1) You can be as loud as you want

Want to play Mass Effect 3 in glorious 7.1 digital surround sound all night with zero guilt or need to consider someone else? Have at it!

2) Do your chores when you want to (or never). 

You can do them at your own convenience and pace, without ever being nagged or criticized.

3) Smokers can smoke in the house all they want if you don't care. 

I have friends who smoke and they were never allowed to smoke in the house before. Now? They can smoke in my basement all they want- this is especially great for them in the winter.

4) Sleep wherever, whenever and always uninterrupted. 

No one will hit you with "when are you getting up" or "why don't you come to bed, it's late?" If it's your day off and you want to sleep for 15 hours....you can!

5) No one but you eats your food. 

No more "who ate my taco? I was saving that!"

6) The temperature is set to EXACTLY your preference at all times. 

And NO ONE complains :) My house is 64 degrees this winter. Saving tons of money on heating and no one is telling me to turn it up because they are cold (meaning of course that I have to be too hot....no thanks).

7) If you play an instrument you can play whenever you want. 

I play the drums and nothing is more glorious than being able to just PLAY when I feel like it.

8) If you missed the lesson on sharing in kindergarten living alone is for you.

That family size box of overly sugary, diabetes inducing cereal? All mine, mine, mine!

9) Come and go as you please. 

Go out whenever you want and have no one to answer to (or ask).

10) Have people over anytime you want. 

There's never a time where you have to "check" with someone else. I can have an impromptu jam session with a guitarist friend, something that would have been nearly impossible before.

Living alone isn't for everyone, but for people like me, it's GREAT. Everyone should at least try it once in their lives.

5 Ways To Improve A Legal System/The Law

1) Judge the law less by its effect on case by case situations and more so by its effect on society as a whole.

-Increase in the ability to file law suits was implemented, supposedly, to increase power held by "the little guy" and to 'check' the behaviour of the 'big guy.' Only problem is, this has had unintended systemic effects
-For example, the increase in medical culpability has actually diminished doctors' propensity to act, decreasing the quality of healthcare

2) Simplify the law.

-If the law is too complicated to internalize, people lose faith in the law
-The golden rule is and always has been a great basis for law

3) Re-humanize the law.

-Give cops and judges the opportunity to apply their discretion (like they used to be able to) so individuals are not swallowed up by harsh, unflinching laws meant to curb societal problems

4) Have the law informed by science, not emotion and propaganda. Evidence based law, like medicine. Especially drug laws

5) Refocus the law and associated punishments. What exactly is their aim and are we acting outside of it?

-If you're in court, looking at say 5 years in jail for a drug infraction and you ask the judge "who exactly did I hurt here?" and they have no answer other than "yourself" or "the law is the law" we have a problem
-We need to rethink prison and ask ourselves if it is really the only possible way of doing things

Debate Tips #1: Rebuttal To Being "Entitled To My Opinion"

Two people engaged in a debate. One is challenging the opinion of the other. They go back and forth, point by point. Until it happens:

"Well, I'm entitled to my opinion."

When people say this, I think they're saying that they have the right to hold the opinion, content of the opinion notwithstanding. If so, I agree but that is basically a nonsense statement. I have the right to hop on one foot I suppose, but if someone points out that walking normally is more efficient and I, instead of engaging them on that point just say "Well, that may be but I have the right to hop on one foot" I might be right but I am also babbling and missing the point.

Address the actual content of the opinion, not your right to hold it.

That is all.

Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus 2- Ninja Race Mode Tips

So I have been playing a bit of the Ninja Race mode in Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus 2 on the Vita and I thought I would share some tips for this super fun, challenging mode. Note: I have been playing as Ryu, so these tips are (mostly) character specific.

-Lunar Staff is obtained after beating Chapter 1 in the story mode- do this first.

-The Lunar features quick combo kills using weak, weak, strong. This is much faster than square, square, triangle, shuriken cancel, triangle with the dragon sword.

-The Lunar is also fantastic for crowd control, unlike the DS. Standing neutral strong, either stand alone or chained into a combo is good, as is the standard weak, weak, weak, strong strong. A good one for quick limb detachments is chains starting with towards and square. This is a poke with range and power and like the other combos mentioned above it seems to grant some crowd protection in the same way that VF combo strings do. The dragon sword does not carry this advantage.

-The Dragon Sword does have the flying swallow, but it whiffs too much sometimes and therefore wastes too much time. There's no whiffing with the Lunar staff.

-Minimize ET/UT usage. Keep it to the purple essence or health if you don't need it. You'll definitely want to avoid using the green essence for them as green grants time bonuses. The white essence grants speed and power bonuses so try not to utilize that for ET's/UT's either, unless you're at max speed/power or you're in trouble.

-I experimented with both avoiding fights and taking them all on and what seemed to work best for me was a combination of the two- run until you group enemies together at a point where you're forced to fight and kill them as fast as you can. You'll get a feel for the best spots to do this as you try the course over after failing (unless you're amazing and do it in one go) but off the top of my head, I skip the first three regular ninjas and have them follow me, along with the first 2 dogs, into the bridge area where you're forced to fight the spider ninja. Then I grouped together the next batch with the big fight at the area before the archer section.

-Speaking of the archers, DO NOT BOTHER WITH THEM. Major time waster. Either fight the guys below while dodging arrows or take them all with you to the underground passage and kill them in close quarters (if you get far enough ahead you can no essence charge a UT, or at least an ET to soften them up (if you want).

-Plan on failing several times while you're learning the route(s) and strategy(ies). Unless of course you're god tier. At this point in my life I'm human tier, so it took me a good 10 tries or so to figure it all out. The time constraints are rough and leave little room for error. The most time I can recall having on the clock at once was somewhere around 2:40.

-Race 01: If you get to the first boss fight with less than 40 seconds on the clock restart. When I beat the course I believe I got to him with 1:10 or so left.

That's all I can remember atm.

Differences Between Bayonetta and Bayonetta 2- Which Do You Prefer?

* Unlocks are easier to get most of the time, but can't be quick unlocked via cheatcodes.
* there's a bigger difference in move-set per weapon.
* Umbran Climax is added, think Devil Trigger.
* Magic no longer drains when hit.
* Pulleys Butterfly now also constantly drains magic.
* Enemies no longer do surprise attacks at the start of a fight.
* Certain enemies will attack you in a cutscenes, if you press dodge at that point you'll start the fight with an extended Witch Time.
* Requirements for PP seem to be a lot higher and more tight.
* You can't reset to title-screen when you're looking at your ranking, so you can more easily screw up your rank.
* More costumes, like..a lot more.
* 'Serious Mode' from Bayo1 is gone during bosses.
* Few new abilities are added such as Charge Shots and a sort of Shoryuken move.
* Default Control scheme was changed, no idea why. Type B is the controls from the first game.
* Dodge animation was changed a bit.
* With the exception of truly broken setups that disallow rankings (Rosa + Climax Brace + Climax Brace 2), there isn't a big ultra move that kills everything in seconds.
* Online Co-op is now added where you can play as two male characters (Lumen Sage and Rodin).
* There's a lot less 'other stuff' when it comes to gameplay. The driving section is only a minute long and the flying section is a lot shorter as well.
* Levels are bigger with more room to explore.
* Lot more enemy types from what I'm noticing.
* Highest difficulty setting does NOT disable Witch Time
*The window to activate Witch Time is much more generous but it's balanced out by being slightly
shorter than the first and there are stricter PP requirements.

Mass Effect 2 Element Zero and Side Quest Locations Guide

---------------------------------
ELEMENT ZERO RICH PLANETS
------------------------------

Omega Nebula - Batalla - Thunawanuro 7,500
Hourglass Nebula - Faryar - Daratar 6,000
Rosetta Nebula - Alpha Draconis - Aeia 5,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Mizraim 2,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Laban 3,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Joab 5,000
Far Rim - Dholen - Gotha 5,000
The Phoenix Massing - Salahiel - Ekuna 4,000
Hades Nexus - Hekate - Bothros - 2,000
Hades Nexus - Pamyat - Dobrovolski 5,000
Hades Nexus - Sheol - Gei Hinnom 5,500
Nubian Expanse - Kalabsha - Yamm 3,000
Caleston Rift - Balor - Caleston 5,000
Hawking Eta - Schwarzschild - Etamis 5,000
Pylos Nebula - Dirada - Siano 5,000
Pylos Nebula - Satent - Boro 6,500
Pylos Nebula - Satent - Raisaris - 7,000
Eagle Nebula - Relic Cluster - Planet Preying Mouth
Eagle Nebula - Amun Cluster - Planet Anhur
Eagle Nebula - Amun Cluster - Planet Sekhmet
Crescent Nebula - Lusarn Cluster - Planet Tarith
Crescent Nebula - Zelene Cluster - Planet Helyme
Hourglass Nebula - Osun Cluster - Planet Erinie
Hourglass Nebula - Ploitari Cluster - Planet Thegan
Titan Nebula - Haskins Cluster - Planet Capek
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Farlas
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Israfil
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Kakabel
The Shrike Abyssal - Urla Rast Cluster - Planet Talis Fia
The Shrike Abyssal - Xe Cha Cluster - Planet Tosal Nym
The Shrike Abyssal - Xe Cha Cluster - Planet Zada Ban
Sigurd's Cradle - Decoris Cluster - Planet Sanctum
Sigurd's Cradle - Skepsis Cluster - Planet Watson
Omega Nebula - Batalla Cluster - Planet Nearog
Krogan DMZ - Nith Cluster - Planet Mantun
Minos Wasteland - Caestus Cluster - Planet Invictus
Caleston Rift - Aysur Cluster - Planet Arvuna

-----------------------------------------------------
------------------------
PLANETS WITH SIDE QUESTS
------------------------

Planet______________ System ______________ Nebula
Taitus ______________ Talava System_________ Caleston Rift
Sinmara ____________ Solveig System________ Caleston Rift
Helyme _____________ Zelene System __________Crescent Nebula
Tarith _______________ Lusarn System __________Crescent Nebula
Neith _______________ Amun System __________Eagle Nebula
Gel Hinnom__________ Sheol System__________ Hades Nexus
Daratar ______________Faryar System__________ Hourglass Nebula
Zanethu _____________ Ploitari System__________ Hourglass Nebula
Aequitas _____________Fortis System __________Minos Wasteland
MSV Strontium Mule _________________________ Omega Nebula
Lorek _______________ Father ________________ Omega Nebula
Joab ________________ Enoch System __________Rosette Nebula
Sanctum _____________Decoris System __________Sigurd's Cradle
Franklin ______________Skepsis System__________ Sigurd's Cradle
Zada Ban ____________Xe Cha System __________The Shrike Abyssal
Capek _______________Haskins System__________Titan Nebula
Pylos Nebula__________Dirada__________________Canalus

Day In the Life of a SAHM I Know

-Feed the baby when she wakes up at around 8am, and then sit down for around 30-50 minutes and watch tv before going outside to smoke cigarettes once the baby falls back asleep for her first nap of the day. Once mom is done smoking she either watches more tv or takes a nap, depending on how she feels that day. The baby usually sleeps until ~11am so she will nap/watch tv until then.

-Once the baby is up, she feeds her, changes her diaper and then places her in front of the tv in her playpen and then baby proceeds to watch tv with mommy until lunch time (Or, if this taxing routine has been too much for her to handle as of late, she'll bundle up the baby and head to the in-laws and lets them deal with the baby).

-Lunch time. Then nap, during which mommy watches more tv/smokes cigarettes outside.

Post lunch: The afternoon is just like the morning except a little less reality tv shows and a little more solitaire or pinball on the computer. Oh, sometimes she'll play COD in the morning instead of watch shitty reality shows/daytime talk shows.

Dinner time: Daddy will be home soon (and it can't be soon enough 'cause she's starvin!) Wonder what he (yes, HE) is going to cook for dinner- oh, wait, he's been complaining again about doing everything even though I am home all day (cause you know, he thinks babies take care of themselves and all mothers do is nap and watch tv) so I guess I'll do it tonight to shut him up for a few days (fucking whiner).

So what should I make him? Processed frozen food, or should I just text him and have him pick up (and pay for) fast food?Ah, let's go with the frozen dinner. I could go for some McDonald's and I don't feel like bending down to use the oven but he's been complaining about money since I keep "spending it all faster than he can make it." What a whiner. Get a better job then. Mary's boyfriend doesn't complain about her spending!

HE's HOME!! TIME TO COMPLAIN AND PASS THE BABY OFF TO HIM SO I CAN 'RELAX' FOR A BIT WHILE HE COOKS DINNER!

Kids and Drugs II

In my experience as a father of a 5 year old daughter there's nothing in life that more poignantly exemplifies the notion of things in life being both immensely beneficial and seriously detrimental than does having a kid. I have previously written about the downsides of having a kid before so I will just summarize some of them in bulletpoint:

-Tremendous drain on time
-Tremendous drain on resources
--Seriously, the time drain. I have to say it again because "holy fuck can I just have 5 min. alone?" is a common thought
-Being woken up at 6:20am with the lights being turned on, a kid jumping on you, being asked to play, etc
-In a span of 3 hours you might be asked 100 questions
-You have to play the same kids games over and over and fake enthusiasm each time
-You have to consider another person and physically take them with you whenever you plan to do anything
-Dealing with things like tantrums, crying, screaming, shit, piss, puke, injuries, spills (constant spills at certain ages), etc
-Just having to constantly be "on-" You're a teacher, a mentor, a guard, a babysitter, a cook, a cleaner etc all day long

Now, all that aside, all that shit you hear about parenting being the greatest, most rewarding endeavour in the world is (mostly) true. There are moments between her and I that are truly the happiest and most endearing of any in this life and I sincerely mean that. The feelings that your little one can engender within you are far and away better, more intense and more satisfying than any you can experience elsewhere. It always sounded ridiculous to me when I was younger but now I find myself experiencing it: I will sometimes think about her and I will feel myself starting to tear up (or feel like I am close to it). She is the greatest, sweetest, brightest thing in my life and I am completely dedicated to doing the best job I can so as to allow her to become a self actualized, competent, happy, free spirited, inquisitive, motivated human (and in all honesty, so far so good, but not solely because of me; she plays a huge role in it herself).

Here's What They Don't Tell You About Having Kids (And the Love you feel for them)

Parenting, on a day by day, minute to minute basis is a LOT of work, both physical and mental.

"Oh, I know that," you say.

Do you? Do you really know that?

Imagine being woken up at 6:20am by a fully energized kid ready to start the day off with a wrestling match, or a walk to the park when all you want to do is sleep (but you cannot) so you get up and you start the day. By 1pm you've already made breakfast for two, wrestled, done artwork, watched a kids tv show or two, played outside, cleaned 3 messes, made lunch for two, been asked 1000 questions and pulled in 1000 different directions and have had zero time to yourself. By 1pm you're already halfway to being wiped out but she's not going to be in bed until 8pm and her energy is endless.....btw, if you want to go to the grocery store, good luck. It will take 4 times as long as it would without a kid, unless you make them ride in the cart (and even then they will still find ways to annoy-try to escape, try to grab things off the shelf, ask for everything they see, etc.).

And this is when they are a bit more self sufficient. Take this and add crying/screaming/tantrums for toddlers. Now does doing that over and over sound like something you would want to subject yourself to? It's really not all that fun, at least quite often. It's mostly just tiring, draining work and internally you're just wishing for some time alone. I can see why a lot of parents retreat into their phones, although I HATE that they do it, because it hurts the kids.

Parenting makes you an entertainer, a cleaner, a cook, a boss, a role model, etc.

Those moments that everyone talks about, those "OMG AMAZING MOMENTS" like the "I love you's" and the kisses on the cheek, they are just that-moments. Moments surrounded by hours of work. Everyone points to these moments but neglects to mention the day to day drudgery.

A drug analogy really holds well here. In fact (and this is where I lose people) I believe the 'love' we feel for our children is, as is romantic love, just a chemically induced state (oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin) which we evolved to feel in order to keep us from either abandoning or killing the little buggers. Just think about it: How successful would we have been as a species if we DIDN'T feel that love feeling for the screaming little buggers? And so if this is true, the "love" that we all speak of to justify being a parent (seriously, other dads I talk to agree about what it's like but then invariably go to the "ya, but I love him/her/them and when they give you that random hug it's all worth it!") is actually the 'trick' if you will, that nature plays on us to keep us committed to the kids. We romanticize the shit out of what I believe to simply be an evolved trick of sorts.

Now, that all being said, as they age things change and it can become less one sided and more of a real friendship/relationship rather than just a worker/recipient situation. My daughter is now 5 and she is truly a kindhearted, intelligent, funny and fun kid and the feeling of things being "work" is much less frequent (and intense) as it used to be. Chunks of the day really have become less like work and more just hanging out and having an honestly good time. For example, we'll go on nature walks along the water or in a nearby forest and during times like that it's all exploration, inquisitiveness, appreciation and bonding between the two of us. She is getting much better behaved and so even going to the store has become less stressful (some days, some days I still want to kill her) and as long as you mediate your feelings, have an open heart, treat them well, etc you can have a good time.

But even then it's still a LOT of work and a total drain on your once free time, so potential parents should THINK HARD about the day to day realities rather than just the "aawww moments." Those "aww moments" are a high and the rest of the day is spent doing the drudgery no one really talks about when you mention wanting kids.

Top Ten Divorce Lawyer Dirty Tricks

Top Ten Tricks of Scumbags Known as “Family Law Attorneys”

1. The bankruptcy trick.

Here is how it works……. In the property division portion of the trial, the “wife” and her life sucking leach will let you keep most of your stuff. You know, your classic cars and motorcycles, toys, property in your family for years, etc. {don’t worry, she’ll throw out all the smaller mementos of your life, in violation of the temporary order, to make the math easier} In exchange, you have to pay the princess a cash settlement based on splitting all the bills due minus the assets each person takes. Sounds fair, right? --deleted-- NO! What happens is that, shortly after the divorce, pumpkin declares bankruptcy. Now guess who is responsible for ALL the bills. Yes, you. The nice part is that if you declare bankruptcy to get rid of those marital bills, your ex sweetheart’s cash payout is not subject to the bankruptcy proceedings. Your credit is now --deleted--ed and you will have to pay her the cash the judge promised her. They will seize property (including bank accounts), garnish wages, etc. in order to help out the former Mrs. X.

Solution: What you need to do is make sure that you put on the record, say to the judge during the trial, “Your Honor, I stipulate to the property division as put forth by Ms. _______ ,and her counsel, with the following caveat: In the event that a party declares bankruptcy within ten years of the divorce, that party shall not be entitled to any cash settlement from the other and any payments made as part of a cash equalization payment shall be returned by order of the court.” Then smile and shut up. If they pull this on you, you need to have this on the record. The judge can agree with this or not, her attorney will flip out that you are on to this trick and certainly protest. Let him make an ass of himself or herself. When they finish, simply state that “to do otherwise is to open the door for a future civil case of unjust enrichment and I realize the court is busy and may not wish to reopen this matter, under relief from judgment statutes, at a later time.”


2. The “Magical Order” trick.

You’ll like this one. You go to court and get basically what you want, justice. Then a week or so later you get a copy of the proposed order. Well, holy --deleted--, the order has things that were never discussed or ordered or has it just plain wrong. This is definitely NOT what the judge ordered. How did this mistake happen? It isn’t a mistake. The other attorney knows that these things are usually rubber stamped by a judge’s secretary and they aren’t going through the transcripts to see if the lawyer accurately wrote down what the judge ordered. The judge has lots of cases to handle. In most cases, he will not remember, and will take the “scumbag attorney” at his word.

Solution:A week before the hearing, or trial, submit a “request for audio recording” of the action. If it is denied, and it is a one party consent state, tape the thing yourself secretly. Once they know you are on to this trick, by your request for a recorded hearing, they will be more “careful” when they word the order. When you get the proposed order, review it immediately. You generally have five days to object before it is made final. If it is wrong, make sure you object. If your objections are overruled, let them know that “the audiotape I possess clearly shows the order is wrong.” Threaten to contact your States attorney ethics board if you are being ignored. Be nice at first. Never lose your temper.


3. The Disappearing mail trick.

You can trust the one who agreed to “better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health”, right. No. You can’t. You get something in the mail that says basically “hey, you failed to show up for _______ (mediation, court hearing, required appointment, etc.). Since you didn’t care enough to show, we bent you over the bench in effigy and ass raped you. Have a nice day and --deleted-- off.” You think “well, I never got a notice of that”. How could I get the ass rape letter and not the initial notice ? It just can’t be. Sure it can. Little miss innocent simply knew when the original notice was mailed and had someone (bad boy, player, thug) intercept your mail. What? That’s not fair. Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she got a default judgment, or something else to her benefit, because you didn’t show. And now the judge thinks you don’t care. He will not likely believe someone tampered with your mail and you probably cannot prove it anyhow. And now he is pissed off at you.

Solution: Get a post office box. Send registered letters, return receipt requested, to the court, child support agency, ex’s attorney if she is represented (or her if she isn’t yet) and EVERYBODY ELSE INVOLVED that formally notifies them of this change. Do not say why as it makes you look like a whiner. Just do it. Do it as soon as the action is filed. Check this PO Box every day.

Re: On Labeling Women 'Crazy' (Thoughts From a Discussion I Had)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harris-oamalley/on-labeling-women-crazy_b_4259779.html

I see both sides of this. women getting irrational and hyper emotional is pretty much a staple of female behaviour, so on that one I am with you guys 100%. On the other hand, there are guys (and girls, yes feminists, chicks do this too) who "gaslight" their partners by essentially doing shit and then denying it when the person reacts and then furthermore telling them that they are "crazy" or "oversensitive." They do this even though the person is right and that can really fuck with someone psychologically.

P.S. Just the word "oversensitive" alone should give you guys pause. Who determines what is an acceptable level of sensitivity? Are we really going to deny that a lot of guys act like dicks, or do something shady and then when the girl reacts to it they shut them down, not because the chick is wrong but simply because they don't want to actually have to consider their own behaviour or just "don't want to hear it?" Sure, a lot of the time they are being "crazy" and making a mountain out of a molehill, but let's not lose sight of the fact that a lot of people out there are horribly self involved and don't give a shit about other people especially if it inconveniences them to do so. That shit exists and I have even faced it as a male.

An example: person insults the other. Other person gets hurt and mentions it. First person says "I was just kidding, jesus. You're too sensitive!" Too? As determined by who? I see absolutely no pausing to consider the other person's feelings there, and that's because people are a) apt to assume everyone is wired just like they are and b) don't want to have to admit fault or actually consider their behaviour.

When it comes to this "acting crazy" thing, is that if you ask first, and their response is pretty well, crazy, then okay. Bitches be crazy. A lot of guys though, they don't even ASK. Just immediately write it off. "Oh, you're crazy, relax!" The author is just saying, "hey, why not investigate a little before writing them off? Sometimes you're writing off legitimate feelings." And btw, when guys do that, guess what that leads to over time? More "acting crazy" which they further chalk up to the chick being "nuts" and don't ever stop for a minute to consider their part. I can't understand how anyone can deny that this happens. It's super common, and not even just with guys/girls and romantic relationships. ALL relationships (friends, family, etc) are fertile ground for this. I myself have had this happen numerous times over my life. A lot of it because of my own parents and their abuse. Or friends in the past, being total dicks. I tell them how I feel about what they did/do and I'm just "too sensitive" or "making a big deal out of nothing." Not one second to consider their (shitty) actions or how I could be affected. Just quickly write you off and move on.

The Irony is, They Aren't Teaching Girls Equality

They're giving them a complex about it. My daughter (she's 5) sang this part of a song this weekend for the first time "boys can *insert whatever action* and girls can too!" So she'll skip along and sing "boys can skip and girls can too!" or "boys can jump and girls can too!" etc. I asked her where she learned this song and she said it was at school last year (SK, she starts grade 1 tomorrow, which seems insane but that's for another topic). Now, on the face of it, this seems like a great message to be sending little girls. And my initial though actually was in this vein "oh, cool, they start early with the equality now, that's good." Something to that effect. I mean, a main focus of my parenting style is to avoid limiting her; encourage her interests and objects of curiosity- never repress them.

Not long after this though, my (fuckin unstoppable and often annoying) need to question goddamn fucking everything woke up from its nap and started the process. It's tentative conclusion? That this might be doing less teaching about equality and more introducing the idea of gender inequality, leading to an immediate (and gender wide) inferiority complex. The central question here then, if my goal is to find out if I am on the right track or not, is simply is there an inherent, ingrained idea of gender inequality amongst young children which necessitates this kind of teaching, or does the post feminism practise of teaching equality from a young age actually just introduce the idea of inequality in them and do the opposite of what it tries to?

What do you think?

Parenting Rules To Live By

My daughter is five. Here's a list of some of my parenting rules: (I try to stick to them as much as possible)

-If she gets dramatic/emotional to manipulate me into doing something, a) do not do it for her; b) call her out on it (with humour).
-No yelling or "spanking." There's no lesson that needs to be bullied into a kid in order to reach them.
-Say no but say it when it matters so it's not a pointless word that just starts battles.
-Think about her as a person. Empathize. Remember her age, remember her brain's limits. Don't just expect her not to be who she is because it's inconvenient or makes it hard for me to have control. Cut ego OUT as much as possible.
-Wrestle/playfight often. Don't go easy on her the whole time. Let her have some wins but mix in some moments of high challenge (build self confidence, teach her to overcome obstacles and stay persistent, increased physical strength and capabilities, exercise, bonding).
-Share jokes, and ask her opinion on things.
-Have fun
-Do things outside. Be in nature. Explore.
-Don't say no to things just because I, as an adult, no longer enjoy them. She's a kid, not an adult. If she wants to jump in a puddle, LET HER. Her shoes get wet, oh no! They'll dry, and she'll have a great childhood moment. Or, just have her take her shoes off. Think outside the box
-Like I said, think outside the box
-Question things, and have her do the same
-Try to show more than tell
-Share my love of learning and my awe of (and passion for knowing) the universe
-Engage her in things.
-Challenge her. Mentally and physically
-If she asks me to get her something for no reason other than laziness, decline. She can do it herself.
-If she tries to get something making sexy poses, point it out to her, and then ask her if perhaps there might be a better way. Never indulge it, but never shame her either. She did not choose her animal nature, so don't make her pay for it.
-If she falls, know the difference between real hurt and not so real. Attend to the first, handle the second with amusement and try to bring her into that frame. End result: hopefully she laughs off the not so bad ones instead of sits there vying for attention. (By the way, it worked. She "walks it off" and we talk/laugh about it or just keep playing. If she is really hurt I immediately know the difference and giver her the hugs and soothing that she needs.)
-TV isn't the end of the world, but don't have her in front of it for hours and hours either

That's good for now.

My goal is to have a confident, open minded, critical thinking daughter who isn't ashamed of her sexuality but doesn't wield it like a weapon. Ditto her emotions. It would be nice if she worked through problems, had some measure of self reliance and autonomy, and didn't just cry on facebook when something mild goes wrong. Nice, caring and empathetic but not a pushover and physically capable. Just an all around cool chick. Possible? I dunno. Signs are promising. She's a badass five year old. Then again she's only five. Grade one starts next month and along with it a year's worth of other kids and their influences. And those influences only grow with each passing year. For now I just do what I can.

Thinking Obesity is a Disease Makes You Eat More

http://www.psypost.org/2014/04/thinking-obesity-is-a-disease-makes-you-more-likely-to-eat-high-calorie-foods-study-finds-24587

On June 18, 2013, the American Medical Association officially recognized obesity as a disease. The nation’s largest physician organization said the new classification would help turn more medical attention toward obesity, as well as increase reimbursement for obesity-related drugs, surgery, and counseling.

“Recognizing obesity as a disease will help change the way the medical community tackles this complex issue that affects approximately one in three Americans,” said AMA board member Patrice Harris, M.D. “The AMA is committed to improving health outcomes and is working to reduce the incidence of cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes, which are often linked to obesity.”

But new psychology research suggests the “obesity is a disease” message actually undermines important weight-loss efforts.

“The term disease suggests that bodies, physiology, and genes are malfunctioning. By invoking physiological explanations for obesity, the disease label encourages the perception that weight is unchangeable,” Crystal L. Hoyt of the University of Richmond and her colleagues wrote in their study, which was published in the April issue ofPsychological Science.

In three separate studies with more than 700 participants, the researchers found that obese participants who read aNew York Times article about the AMA declaring obesity to be a disease were subsequently less likely to be concerned about their weight and more likely to choose to eat higher-calorie foods.

The “obesity is a disease” message did, however, have a positive impact on body image. Obese participants reported greater body satisfaction after reading the New York Times article. This greater body satisfaction predicted higher-calorie food choices.

“This research illuminates the potential benefits and hidden costs associated with the message that ‘obesity is a disease’ by showing that this message cultivates increased body satisfaction but also undermines beneficial self-regulatory processes in obese individuals,” Hoyt and her colleagues wrote.

The researchers do not dispute that obesity should be classified as a disease. The goal of the study was to better understand how public-health messages can have unintended consequences.

“We are not advocating that the ‘thin’ ideal that pervades Western culture is an admirable goal, nor that internalizing these unhealthy standards is a worthwhile strategy,” they explained. “In addition, we agree that the acceptance of diverse body sizes is laudable, as is the goal to increase medical treatment for obese individuals—themes that emerge in the argument in support of obesity as a disease.”

I Attempt To Answer The Age Old Question "Why Am I Me?"

(If I wrote for some big site they would have made me title this "Why Are You You? Here's Why" but thankfully I do not (thankfully in this instance, not in general; let's not get crazy here) and as such it was titled something more appropriate/honest)

Have you ever asked yourself "why am I me?" "Why am I not someone else?" I certainly have. Many times in my youth and adolescence (and once or twice in adulthood) I have wondered to myself this very thing. At 32 years of age I found myelf pondering this once again but this time an anwer came, almost immediately actually. It's that immediacy that makes me think I might have it, but each time I get close to accepting that, I dunno.....it's like an eel escaping a predator's grasp- one second it's there and the next it's gone. I am just about to emotionally connect to the idea that I am right when suddenly I don't feel so sure and I start saying things like "wait, what?" and "No, wh- hmmmm....wait, what?"

Well, I am writing down my thoughts in the hopes that I can finally figure this out and maybe have a good discussion with somebody online.  I will do this as though I were responding to someone.

"Why am I me?"

Well, I think each "us" may ask why am I 'me' (as I have many times in my life) and I think the only real answer is you are "you" because when your parents procreated, your consciousness developed as a necessary result of that process. Each one of us is a 'me' and it's only after we came to be that we would even think to ask this question but the question itself is kind of pointless because rather than a consciousness being dropped into a body consciousness is the result of the biological entity processing information. If you weren't you there wouldn't be a you. In order for you to ask about yourself there must have been a you in the first place. If any conditions had changed, you would not have existed. Therefore, you are you because the conditions that made you were what they were. If your parents hadn't conceived you when they did you wouldn't be, well, you. So to say "why am I not someone else" is to essentially say "why am I, a thing that came to be as the result of my parents being together exactly when they were, not that other thing who is a result of totally different circumstances?"

I think the anthropic principle might be applicable here- the idea being that when one is examining the universe the universe MUST be congruent with that beings' existence and this congruence cannot be used as evidence for something in an argument as it would apply in ALL cases. So for example, if someone wants to point to the remarkable number of conditions that must have come to be exactly the way they are for life to be as we experience it now and use this as evidence for a god the only correct response to that is to point out that in order for life to be here things had to be a certain way, and would be so regardless of HOW it came to be, so you cannot point to this congruence between life and the universe and say "see, god!" If humans came to be 100% without any gods, things.....would be exactly the same, otherwise there wouldn't be an us.

This topic makes my head hurt.

Quick Update

My knee (as per the last post, car accident) is something like 90% better. My insurance came through with the money and I am now driving a replacement vehicle (one that is 4 years newer with way less mileage hehehe) and my new job is going great! I have been working like an animal (55+ hours per week) so for now there is nothing substantive to post but I should have a juicy one up next week. I have a few ideas percolating in the ol' brain and I have nice blocks of 3-5 days off in a row these next few weeks which means time to write!!!

Sorry for the wait but thanks for the patience, friends.

I Pissed Someone Off Up There......

So if you read this blog on occasion you may have noticed that I have not posted in the last 2+ weeks. Well, I have been an atheist for as long as I can remember but I think perhaps I have been wrong and there's a really pissed off god out there waving his godly staff of power in my direction. Here's what's been happening over in magx01 land. Try not to choke when you laugh at this bullshit.

-Air conditioning broke. Cannot fix right now (bad financial situation after the recent loss of a job contract)

Okay, no big deal. It's just me here so meh. I've been letting cold air in at night and keeping the place shuttered tight during the day. Windows open on the odd cool day. No wife to bitch and moan and make it sound like the world is ending so in the end, eh.

Then this happens:

Guy ran a red light going 80km/h and destroyed my car (a second car, the one behind me, hit me after I spun which is why there are two impact sites). I walked away with a smashed up left knee and nothing else so I cannot complain too much. It's been 2 weeks now and the knee is like 70-80% better already :)

Okay, so two shitty things, but both are not too bad in the grand scheme of things, right?

-Three days after the accident, I hobble over to my freezer upon awakening in the morning to get an ice pack to ice the giant swollen painful knee when I discover that........my fridge/freezer is no longer working!!!!

Okay, now wtf. I'm a calm dude who takes a lot of shit in stride but even I had to yell out "OH COME ON!!!! WHAT THE FUCK NOW?!" (I did laugh after, but it was more of an anxious laugh than a truly legitimate heehaw laugh). Ugh, so I call the repair dudes and the come and fix it the next day. $140 which I really cannot afford right now but it needs to be done so I do it. I ice my knee three times that night and go to bed relieved, money issues aside. I wake up the next day, and I wal-wait, what's that sound? Oh, NO FUCKING WAY.....that's the noise the fridge was making before it broke (click buzz, click buzz). I go over to it, open it and.....

(wait for it)

ITS BROKEN AGAIN!!!!!!

At this point I just felt defeated. I call the repair guys, they come back the next day and the good news is they tore up my cheque and only charged me $60 instead (they took back the part they installed the day previous). The bad news? I need a new fridge. I spend several days hobbling back and forth between my house and my neighbours' to get and hand them food/drinks/ice packs they are storing for me.

-Insurance comes through on the replacement value of the car. The settlement they offer is fairly reasonable, thankfully. I'll be able to get something similar. They tell me the cheque will be here in 5-10 business days. Cool, right? I'll drive my rental car for now, the cheque comes and I go car shopping, buy something, return the rental. Right?

BZZZT. Wrong. The rental needs to be returned tomorrow. "But I don't even have the money yet, how can I buy a car? And how can I get there without a rental?" "Well sir, you can pay out of pocket for the rental." "Out of pocket? This happened because the guy ran a red light. He was charged for this. I was totally innocent and now I am being penalized? How is this in any way reasonable or fair?" "I agree sir, but there's nothing I can do."

*sigh*

Moral of the story: Don't lose a job/contract if you're an atheist because someone up there will choose that time to turn his giant magnifying glass on your tiny little life.

Self Help and Social Anxiety

The Problem I have with self help when it comes to social anxiety:

There is no answer.

The fundamental reality is that social anxiety and the lack thereof are arrived at by equal (and opposite) roads, and the only way one could morph into the other type of person is by having new experiences opposite to the old that would in effect, reprogram the person to feel differently around others. Can someone with SA work on it? Sure, and well have some agency over our own behaviour, but let's not invalidate years of learned behaviour. A person with social anxiety will only truly be cured through positive experience with others. Of course, one does have some room to self improve in ways that would give them a higher chance of having said positive experiences, and for that self help material can be useful, but not in the way it is advertised. it always seems to put the onus on the self while ignoring the fundamental fact that good experiences with others throughout ones life=confidence and vice versa. A non confident person can get there, sure, but it's like asking a confident person to suddenly feel anxious around others- it ain't happening unless the people around them suddenly start responding differently to them.

Man becomes Woman and Talks About Privilege

This is a post I saw on reddit (unfortunately I did not record the link when I saved this into my drafts) and thought it worthy of sharing. 

"I'm a woman, who......

Brace yourselves......

Used to be a man. There. I said it. So I know exactly what it's like to be a man, and exactly what it's like to be a woman. With that out of the way:

1. Men do not earn more than women. The Wage Gap is a myth that really does follow the Nazi's philosophy that "if you say a lie loud enough, for long enough, people will start to believe it". All you have to do is look up information freely available from the US Department of Labour and Statistics. The numbers are right there. Women do not earn less than men.

1.1 As a woman, I'm now earning FAR more than I ever did as a man.

1.2 In some parts of the country, women earn some 120% of what men make. But we'll never hear about those.

2. Men do not have a better chance of winning political office. Women simply do not run for office as much or as often as men, because it requires work they are not willing to do. Again, this is information freely available.

As a man, I could only be a doctor. If I were a male nurse, I'd be laughed at. If I were a male nurse's aid, I'd be laughed at even harder. If I were an orderly, I'd be a loser who just pushes brooms because he couldn't make it as anything else.

As a woman, I can be a doctor, a nurse, a nurses aid, OR an orderly, and at no point along the way am I laughed at or put down. In fact, I'm applauded the whole way through. Even if I want to stay at home, I'm still applauded!! Because now I'm a little home maker!

So is it any wonder that men MUST push themselves relentlessly to make it as CEOs, while women simply do not have to. And we wonder why there are more men CEOs.

3. Promiscuous behavior, you say? Check this out.

As a man:

if I went into a sex shop, I was a pervert.
If I walked by a playground, I was a pedophile.
If I looked at a woman the wrong way, I was a rapist.
If I said the wrong thing at work, it was sexual harassment.
If I tried to hit on girls, I was a pathetic desperate loser.

As a woman:

if I go into a sex shop, I'm an independent woman exploring her sexuality.
If I walk by a playground, I must be there to pick up my child.
If I look at a man the wrong... pfff come on! I can look at a man any damn way I want! I can tell him to go to hell and he has to applaud me for it!
If I said the wrong thing at work, I'm forgiven. All I have to do is pout and look sorry.
If I try to hit on men, I get men. I can have any man I want. I can hit on women too and it's still perfectly fine, because being gay is gross but lesbians are HAWT!

Syko Shadow and The N Word

This is a new blog series by contributing Thoughtful Gamers writer Syko Shadow called Syko Shadow and Friends, where each time I select a controversial and highly debated topic, give my piece on it, and hope to offer a different viewpoint than the ones that are more widely heard in the wild stupid world of politics and debate.

Today's topic is, as the title so succinctly suggests, the N word!

And by N word, I mean "nigger." (Chappelle's Show reference FTW)

Obviously, it's a bad word for a good reason. Since its inception, the word "nigger" has been associated with the oppression and racism towards black people that has defined the United States since before it became a nation. But for such a bad word, there sure is alot of debate over who can and cannot use the word, or its cousin "nigga" (or "nyugga" if you gettin' fancy), in modern society. Some believe that only black people themselves have any right to use any version of the word without fear of social backlash, some wish to see other races free to use the word to exercise free speech, and some want the word flat-out banned as it is a painful and vulgar word that nobody should WANT to use.

So where do I fit in all of this?